Prayer

[Smiles1025]

In Genesis 3:18(?), God states that it is not good for man to be alone, that He will make Him a companion, a helper. My life has been a roller coaster ride. I have had mental, physical, sexual, and emotional abuse most of my life. When other people could not fill those abuses for me, I had\have the tendency to fill them myself. The crazy thing is, is that now after about 4 years of dragging my feet as a Christian, I find that I am surrounded by people who really do want the truth when they ask, "How are you today?" They do not shy away when I say, I am really struggling. They listen, they respond, they love and they pray. Man, do I ever feel them pray. It is VERY hard for me to ask for help. I am very independent, very strong willed (not a good combination, and yet they are). I have read so many posts of people getting help through prayer, I have seen some great things done through prayer. Yet I have a hard time with it. Speaking is not really a strong area for me, most of the time. There are times when some powerful words come out, but overall I am quiet. I am not much into reading either. These two things I really do not like. As I sit here and type, condemnations rattle my brain, yet I know Romans 8:1 "Therefore this is no longer any condemnation for those who are in the Lord." Sometimes my scripture knowledge (minimal to average perhaps, no where near what I pray I could motivate myself to do) can save me from getting lost in my negative thoughts, but there are other times, I really begin hating myself, not understanding why I feel the way I do. I like being around Christian people. I love to watch them laugh, to be filled with joy, to worship, to praise... It really does fill my heart with gladness. I go to a Vineyard Church where worship will fill the sanctuary and I cannot help but dance. I feel so lifted afterwards, I think I could fly with a bit of a push off. No matter how many times I think, I am a bother to someone, adding to thier headaches, I am ALWAYS proven wrong by the fact that when I am at wits end and cannot stand to be where I am, I can talk to someone, release my frustrations and move on again slowly.

I think I am babbling. I would just like prayer for more devotion to read the bible and desire to grow my relationship with God a bunch (praying, chatting with Him, asking advice...). I think for a time I need someone in my life to hold me accountable to it, because left to my own devices, I will watch TV. Please pray for that too.

Thank you.
:rose:

 

[ladylovesJesus]

I would also suggest that you listen to some good praise and worship music, I find that to be very uplifting and it does help to lift our spirit.

Father I pray that You would help this sister as she desires to grow in her relationship with You. Help her to seek You first and to put her trust in You alone. Give her a thirst so much for You that she longs to read Your Word, the active living Word which will help her in her walk with You. May she be truly devoted to You to serve You in the areas You want for her. Show her the calling You have for her too in Jesus' name amen.

God bless you sister :rainbow: :rose:

 

[andrewnicholas]

Dear friend - try to find a good and welcoming congregation that will help focus your efforts.This is an non denominational site so its entirely up to you. I know when troubled, and I have survived much of what you describe, I retreat to the sanctuary of my local church.Unlike most churches in Ireland of all denominations, its not at all ancient - coming up on 40 years since it was built in an cost effective octagonal shape but it is so peaceful.I also attend the quieter services - those that are voluntary and held during the week and take inspiration from the faith of a mainly older generation. Sure its an effort to get up from a comfortable couch but in the end you will find yourself growing into the presence of the Lord until it surrounds every aspect of your life.Lady Loves Jesus has a very valid point when she suggests listening to sacred music - I am not into the happy clappy genres but I truly love the classical pieces that praise God - Jesus Joy Of Mans Desiring by Bach, the Ave Maria - there are several versions, Panis Angelicus or in more modern times the Pilgrim Suite by Shaun Davey or the wonderful singing of Josh Groban in You Raise Me Up. If you have access to the net look up Ireland's oldest Christian prayer The Breastplate of St. Patrick especially section 8 where he implores as follows
Christ with me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ in me and so on as we invite Christ into every facet of our daily life. May God be with you today and always.

Nicholas.