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Revenge of the Bread - July 07, 2006
You're going to think I'm making this up, but it really happened. We had a party and had two of those long skinny bread loaves left. They were already pretty hard when we got them, but a couple of days sitting on the kitchen counter had rendered them almost deadly. When you have to put that weight-lifting chalk stuff on your hands to lift a loaf, you know it's a couple of stages past stale.
One of my teenaged sons brought them to me, clacked them together and asked, "Mom, what are these for?" Then he whacked one of them on the table several times to add a little audio humor to his stale bread point.
"Jordan, be careful. You could dent the table," was my weird reply. Then I told him they were left over from the party and that he shouldn't try to eat either loaf. I spent way too much money on orthodontics to risk his teeth.
He laughed, "So how would anybody actually eat these anyway?" He went to show them to his thirteen-year-old brother so they could make fun of them together. Making fun is always more fun with someone who'll mock with you. The next thing I knew, Jordan and Daniel were in a loaf sword fight. I'm not sure how it evolved to that or who was winning, but somewhere in the skirmish, a baseball-sized bread chunk flew off and hit Daniel on the side of his face, right beside his left eye. Have you ever heard of bread that could put an eye out?
And here's the weird part. Would you believe the bread actually cut his face? With five kids, we've had a lot of injuries in this household through the years, but this was the first major blood drawn from BREAD.
One of the kids said later that bread in general has been sliced for too long. It was finally taking its revenge and slicing back.
Revenge makes about that much sense sometimes, doesn't it? 2 Samuel 22:48 says, "It is God Who executes vengeance for me and Who brought down [and disciplined] the peoples under me." (AMP) God will bring justice in the end, so no need to worry about getting even. That desire to get even only brings bread-slinging, eye-stinging pain. And the bitterness ends up hurting us more than the one we're bitter toward. We bloody our own face every time we try to take up God's role and get vengeance ourselves. Leviticus 19:18 gives this instruction: "Stop being angry and don't try to take revenge. I am the Lord, and I command you to love others as much as you love yourself." (CEV)
Setting aside anger and the desire for revenge is the first step toward healthy, God-generated love. Let's keep in mind that revenge really does fly in the face of God's kind of loving forgiveness. And the last thing we want is to see anything flying in anyone's face. Every time we try to get revenge on our own, we usually get sliced ourselves. We're the ones bleeding in the end.
God's way is better. Any way you slice it.
Rhonda Rhea is the author of "Who Put the Cat in the Fridge" and other insanely fun books, including "Amusing Grace" and "Turkey Soup for the Soul--Tastes Just Like Chicken." She is a radio personality and humor columnist and speaks at conferences and events nationwide. Rhonda lives in the St. Louis area with her pastor/husband and their five children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.net.
You're going to think I'm making this up, but it really happened. We had a party and had two of those long skinny bread loaves left. They were already pretty hard when we got them, but a couple of days sitting on the kitchen counter had rendered them almost deadly. When you have to put that weight-lifting chalk stuff on your hands to lift a loaf, you know it's a couple of stages past stale.
One of my teenaged sons brought them to me, clacked them together and asked, "Mom, what are these for?" Then he whacked one of them on the table several times to add a little audio humor to his stale bread point.
"Jordan, be careful. You could dent the table," was my weird reply. Then I told him they were left over from the party and that he shouldn't try to eat either loaf. I spent way too much money on orthodontics to risk his teeth.
He laughed, "So how would anybody actually eat these anyway?" He went to show them to his thirteen-year-old brother so they could make fun of them together. Making fun is always more fun with someone who'll mock with you. The next thing I knew, Jordan and Daniel were in a loaf sword fight. I'm not sure how it evolved to that or who was winning, but somewhere in the skirmish, a baseball-sized bread chunk flew off and hit Daniel on the side of his face, right beside his left eye. Have you ever heard of bread that could put an eye out?
And here's the weird part. Would you believe the bread actually cut his face? With five kids, we've had a lot of injuries in this household through the years, but this was the first major blood drawn from BREAD.
One of the kids said later that bread in general has been sliced for too long. It was finally taking its revenge and slicing back.
Revenge makes about that much sense sometimes, doesn't it? 2 Samuel 22:48 says, "It is God Who executes vengeance for me and Who brought down [and disciplined] the peoples under me." (AMP) God will bring justice in the end, so no need to worry about getting even. That desire to get even only brings bread-slinging, eye-stinging pain. And the bitterness ends up hurting us more than the one we're bitter toward. We bloody our own face every time we try to take up God's role and get vengeance ourselves. Leviticus 19:18 gives this instruction: "Stop being angry and don't try to take revenge. I am the Lord, and I command you to love others as much as you love yourself." (CEV)
Setting aside anger and the desire for revenge is the first step toward healthy, God-generated love. Let's keep in mind that revenge really does fly in the face of God's kind of loving forgiveness. And the last thing we want is to see anything flying in anyone's face. Every time we try to get revenge on our own, we usually get sliced ourselves. We're the ones bleeding in the end.
God's way is better. Any way you slice it.
Rhonda Rhea is the author of "Who Put the Cat in the Fridge" and other insanely fun books, including "Amusing Grace" and "Turkey Soup for the Soul--Tastes Just Like Chicken." She is a radio personality and humor columnist and speaks at conferences and events nationwide. Rhonda lives in the St. Louis area with her pastor/husband and their five children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.net.
