Hello all, I’m somewhat new here I tend not to post just read I hope this is the correct place to post this. But lately I have been going through alot in the last 3 months, and it has caused me to question my faith and really examine if I’m in the faith or not. First of all I believe I was saved as a teenager. I attend church regularly and am an active member. I read my bible daily and try and consume as much preaching on the radio as I can (I drive all day at work).
My problem is I am unable to overcome some sins in my life that I’ve had forever. I try and try to stop sinning and cant. I am missing most of the fruits of the spirit. I have no peace or joy in Christ. I find it hard to love or trust other people mostly due to my job I usually only see the worst in society. I don’t like to tell people about my faith but mostly because I’m afraid they will see how I live which is not reflective of the way a believer should act. On the other hand I can honestly look back at my life since I became a believer and can see the way God has moved and directed me into positions I never would have went. I am very aware of my sin but I still do it. Whereas before I didn’t feel anything or even think about sin when I was doing it.
Another thing is that God is on my mind every moment of every day I can’t do anything especially sin without thinking about God and knowing I am wrong. Isn’t it impossible for a non believer to live like that? I think it’s possible that I was saved but may not have grown in my faith. I have had no close Christian friends or mentors to instruct me. I have had no accountability in my Christian life and that may be why I have no fruits. My issue is that when I examine myself I see so much that makes me say "No way could you be a Christian" yet when I look back over the last 13 years I say "There is no way God was not with me or directing me or protecting me".
I have been studying a lot lately about salvation and I see a lot of scripture where Jesus says Believe on the son of God and you will be saved. (seems to simple) I believe totally what the bible says about God and Jesus. But I’m afraid that I only believe like the demons believe. I have been praying a lot for several months for Got to reveal to me if I am not in the faith. Problem is I don’t get an answer. God says that he wants all to come to him and all who ask anything in his name he will grant it. I can’t understand how I couldn’t get an answer to this prayer as it’s the reason Jesus came to die. I know He desires us to trust him and IF I’m not saved wouldn’t he speak to me as a seeker of Jesus and answer my prayer for salvation? If I am saved and just not living correctly and or growing (which I’m not) could that be why I feel so separated from God and my prayers feel like they are hitting the ceiling and going no farther?
Sorry for the long post. There is much more but I didn’t want to make m first post a book! I guess I’m just looking for a full proof way to know one way or the other.
My problem is I am unable to overcome some sins in my life that I’ve had forever. I try and try to stop sinning and cant. I am missing most of the fruits of the spirit. I have no peace or joy in Christ. I find it hard to love or trust other people mostly due to my job I usually only see the worst in society. I don’t like to tell people about my faith but mostly because I’m afraid they will see how I live which is not reflective of the way a believer should act. On the other hand I can honestly look back at my life since I became a believer and can see the way God has moved and directed me into positions I never would have went. I am very aware of my sin but I still do it. Whereas before I didn’t feel anything or even think about sin when I was doing it.
Another thing is that God is on my mind every moment of every day I can’t do anything especially sin without thinking about God and knowing I am wrong. Isn’t it impossible for a non believer to live like that? I think it’s possible that I was saved but may not have grown in my faith. I have had no close Christian friends or mentors to instruct me. I have had no accountability in my Christian life and that may be why I have no fruits. My issue is that when I examine myself I see so much that makes me say "No way could you be a Christian" yet when I look back over the last 13 years I say "There is no way God was not with me or directing me or protecting me".
I have been studying a lot lately about salvation and I see a lot of scripture where Jesus says Believe on the son of God and you will be saved. (seems to simple) I believe totally what the bible says about God and Jesus. But I’m afraid that I only believe like the demons believe. I have been praying a lot for several months for Got to reveal to me if I am not in the faith. Problem is I don’t get an answer. God says that he wants all to come to him and all who ask anything in his name he will grant it. I can’t understand how I couldn’t get an answer to this prayer as it’s the reason Jesus came to die. I know He desires us to trust him and IF I’m not saved wouldn’t he speak to me as a seeker of Jesus and answer my prayer for salvation? If I am saved and just not living correctly and or growing (which I’m not) could that be why I feel so separated from God and my prayers feel like they are hitting the ceiling and going no farther?
Sorry for the long post. There is much more but I didn’t want to make m first post a book! I guess I’m just looking for a full proof way to know one way or the other.