Separated and questions etc

[confused/hurt male]

My wife told me about 2 months ago it was over. We are both Christians. I was not there for her when she need me to be and i was wrong and told her and more stuff. She said she has prayed for months and feels like this is what God wants a divorce never said separation. I want to work on the marriage but she does not. While there and looking for a place for me she said later on maybe we can be friends with benefits i was shocked. She has said something again this week. I dont know what to do,i want to and then i don't,just wonder if it could help us get back together. She says it is over for good. But i know God hates divorce and wants couples to stay together. I have changed and am changing and have gotten closure to God. I have asked her to be around me to see the changes but does not too but then said we could have sex I have prayed every day and talked to God and feel like he has forgiven me. I ask to help both of us to open our hearts,soul,ears,eyes, and mind. But am afraid she will not and said we can be friends and help with the kids.I do want to make it work and i love her and want to be with her. I also asked God to do His will and not mine but how can i tell if it is His will or mine? I am afraid if we did have sex it would hurt me more than anything. i am also seeing a Christian counselor and she is not thanks

 

[amadeus2]

My wife told me about 2 months ago it was over. We are both Christians. I was not there for her when she need me to be and i was wrong and told her and more stuff. She said she has prayed for months and feels like this is what God wants a divorce never said separation. I want to work on the marriage but she does not. While there and looking for a place for me she said later on maybe we can be friends with benefits i was shocked. She has said something again this week. I dont know what to do,i want to and then i don't,just wonder if it could help us get back together. She says it is over for good. But i know God hates divorce and wants couples to stay together. I have changed and am changing and have gotten closure to God. I have asked her to be around me to see the changes but does not too but then said we could have sex I have prayed every day and talked to God and feel like he has forgiven me. I ask to help both of us to open our hearts,soul,ears,eyes, and mind. But am afraid she will not and said we can be friends and help with the kids.I do want to make it work and i love her and want to be with her. I also asked God to do His will and not mine but how can i tell if it is His will or mine? I am afraid if we did have sex it would hurt me more than anything. i am also seeing a Christian counselor and she is not thanks

Of course if you were guilty of fornication [porn, I believe would fit under that umbrella] she would be allowed her divorce and still be able to please God... even though you have repented. You are hoping to get back together ,which would be good, but it does take two to do that. I and others here will be praying for your situation, but be ready for the worst if she chooses to make the separation permanent.

Sometimes God will require of us some very painful things. Of course when we point to Jesus some may say that He was a special case and so He was but consider Stephen [Acts chapters 6 & 7] the first martyr in the New Testament. He never was blessed with a wife or children. In the flesh all he received in the end was the painful death of stoning. He had a better reward, but not while he lived in his flesh as a man. If it happens that God does not give you the reconciliation that you might desire, ask Him to e grace sufficient to endure the situation to the end.

"For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Cor 12:8-9

 

[elina99]

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[Ivar]

@confused/hurt male

Disclaimer: My Opinion based on your words

She told you is over. She will not forgive you neither submit to you. She does not want to work on the marriage. She says it is over for good. Your authority over her as a husband is nothing.

As a husband do not continue to yoke yourself to a woman who no longer sees you as a husband and maintains her role as wife. Unless the Spirit of Discernment tells you that is is reconcilable. You can receive discernment thru Prayer, Talking to your friends, Talking to her friends that you are friends with, Talking to your family, Talking to her family, the congregation you are with,etc. Consider that when two or more believers be gathered then Christ is in the midst. Consider to be wise as serpents but harmless as doves.

More than likely she is talking to someone or people behind the scenes and I recommend that you also seek legal counsel behind the scenes. You should want to know the worst case scenario and how to prevent that.