WantToKnowHim
Member
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2011
- Messages
- 106
Good day everyone... I am here to share to you how God saved me and showed me the truth and salvation. And how, in the midst of turmoil in my life right now, I am still seeking GOD.
I committed incest in my younger years. When I was six, my uncle used to lock me up on a room (away from my siblings) and molested me. He told me then that what we are doing is alright and is not bad. Little did I know that what we are doing is a very grave sin.
When I was seven, I've realized the horror that we are doing, so I told my siblings about it. They did not believe me, and worst, they told my uncle that I have been fabricating stories about him. Imagine my shock and dismay at that time.
This set-up goes for almost five years. When my parents are out in the house, my uncle and I did horrible things, and when I begged my parents to take me wherever they go (in order to stay away from my uncle) they just ignored me.
When I was about nine years old, a certain representative of a ministry gave us free bible ( I remembered that it was a small one, with a brown cover). I read it like it was just a simple story, and was amazed by the miracles Jesus had done. I cannot say on that time I became a pure believer and follower in Christ, because I am still not aware much of its greatness. However each story gives me this peaceful feeling and I still read on it.
When I was eleven I had this panic attack. This started when my teacher in Values Education gave us some task to write the happiest and saddest moments of our life. I wrote the saddest part of my life, and suddenly some of my classmates grabbed the paper on me and learned about what happened to me. Most of them were shocked but one teased me about it in front of the class.
This panic attack lasted for three days. When my mother noticed it, she scolded me and said that I am insane. When my father heard my story, he ignored me and told me that maybe my memory was somewhat "distorted".
That's the time I lose hope of everything. Until one day I turn back to God. I ask God why I am alone about this. It was then that I realized that I am really not alone. If my family left me, there is still God. If my friends left me, there is still God. If injustice prevails and lies covered the truth there is still one God who believed in you, who shared the tears and fears that you have. There is still God...and nobody can change that.
There are more trials that happened to me after these things: my elder sister became pregnant in the same time that I lost my college scholarship and we landed on a financial and emotional crisis. My friend committed suicide and my lies became a part of it. My father left us and had another family. We are on a state of doing a crime today, because we had this illegal electricity connection. Even I told them the perils of these crime, my family ignored me, just as they once ignored me when I told them about the sexual abuse. I realized that I have this personality problem in which I failed to acknowledge my weaknesses in front of everyone, as well as not asking for help to others most of the time.
As of now, I am a great sinner. A really great sinner. But this fact never shakes my faith that however filthy I am now GOD will never leave me, and I believe that in the future I will help my family to have this clean life. I promise to myself that I will work harder...and when that time comes that we are living a Christian life these setbacks and crimes will be my another testimony that GOD IS GOOD, AND THAT IS A FACT THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE...
Brothers and sisters, I am fervently asking for your prayers that I can still keep this hope until the time comes. May my life will serve as a good example of GOD'S IMMEASURABLE LOVE as well as an example that in a person who struggles to live Christ-like, my dearest, you are not alone..
GOD BLESS EVERYONE...
I committed incest in my younger years. When I was six, my uncle used to lock me up on a room (away from my siblings) and molested me. He told me then that what we are doing is alright and is not bad. Little did I know that what we are doing is a very grave sin.
When I was seven, I've realized the horror that we are doing, so I told my siblings about it. They did not believe me, and worst, they told my uncle that I have been fabricating stories about him. Imagine my shock and dismay at that time.
This set-up goes for almost five years. When my parents are out in the house, my uncle and I did horrible things, and when I begged my parents to take me wherever they go (in order to stay away from my uncle) they just ignored me.
When I was about nine years old, a certain representative of a ministry gave us free bible ( I remembered that it was a small one, with a brown cover). I read it like it was just a simple story, and was amazed by the miracles Jesus had done. I cannot say on that time I became a pure believer and follower in Christ, because I am still not aware much of its greatness. However each story gives me this peaceful feeling and I still read on it.
When I was eleven I had this panic attack. This started when my teacher in Values Education gave us some task to write the happiest and saddest moments of our life. I wrote the saddest part of my life, and suddenly some of my classmates grabbed the paper on me and learned about what happened to me. Most of them were shocked but one teased me about it in front of the class.
This panic attack lasted for three days. When my mother noticed it, she scolded me and said that I am insane. When my father heard my story, he ignored me and told me that maybe my memory was somewhat "distorted".
That's the time I lose hope of everything. Until one day I turn back to God. I ask God why I am alone about this. It was then that I realized that I am really not alone. If my family left me, there is still God. If my friends left me, there is still God. If injustice prevails and lies covered the truth there is still one God who believed in you, who shared the tears and fears that you have. There is still God...and nobody can change that.
There are more trials that happened to me after these things: my elder sister became pregnant in the same time that I lost my college scholarship and we landed on a financial and emotional crisis. My friend committed suicide and my lies became a part of it. My father left us and had another family. We are on a state of doing a crime today, because we had this illegal electricity connection. Even I told them the perils of these crime, my family ignored me, just as they once ignored me when I told them about the sexual abuse. I realized that I have this personality problem in which I failed to acknowledge my weaknesses in front of everyone, as well as not asking for help to others most of the time.
As of now, I am a great sinner. A really great sinner. But this fact never shakes my faith that however filthy I am now GOD will never leave me, and I believe that in the future I will help my family to have this clean life. I promise to myself that I will work harder...and when that time comes that we are living a Christian life these setbacks and crimes will be my another testimony that GOD IS GOOD, AND THAT IS A FACT THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE...
Brothers and sisters, I am fervently asking for your prayers that I can still keep this hope until the time comes. May my life will serve as a good example of GOD'S IMMEASURABLE LOVE as well as an example that in a person who struggles to live Christ-like, my dearest, you are not alone..
GOD BLESS EVERYONE...
