This is not a testimony of how i came to Christ but one of how i am coming to Christ every day in my journey towards being more like him and dying to self.
I have had a tricky time as a Christian from 18 when God first called me. In church i have been hindered and hurt by several Christians and leaders of churches. Telling me to trust them and living like Christianity is a life-style choice and not a nose-to-floor service of the one, true and only living God.
Giving me lists of things that i need to change when they knew i could not change those things myself. Telling me to live how they could not and did not live themselves. Trying to take the place of God in my life and open my eyes before i was a mature Christian and able to respond freely to Gods conviction on my life.
Well meaning, yes some of them were. Showing me scriptures, yes lots, but mostly the ones telling me to get my life in order and none of the ones that told me how to. None telling of His kindness that lead me to repentance. None telling of His love that melts my heart. All telling of his judgement.
It took me years to trust God because of this. Years for God to teach me who he really is, a God of love, who teaches and disciples and calls and guides and forgives me until i am aware and then he convicts me and gives me the strength to succeed.
All done by his grace so i can only praise HIS name, not my works.
Twenty-three years later and i had learned to look to God for all my teaching via his Holy Spirit. I even thanked God many times for the hurt caused to me by Christians along the way. I thanked him because it lead me to this place of reliance only on him. I did not see the unforgiveness and hurt in my life....until today.
The live chat forum is a small part of talk Jesus but it is a place where God is at work and indeed worked in my life today to remove hurt and unforgiveness.
In a conversation where i thought i was justified and scripturally correct, i made a huge error and hurt someone. God showed me keenly that i was doing exactly what those other Christians had done to me early on in my Christian walk. The very thing i was trying to stand up for i had done and in the worst possible and most public way for the person i had hurt.
Even after when another sister tried to correct me, my pride would not see it.
God spoke to me; that was enough for me to apologize to the person i hurt and they graciously and readily forgave me. A lesson in how to be right and yet be so very, very wrong! (The plank and the speck story springs to mind)
Many years of hurt and anger came out in floods of tears as i sat staring at my screen. That may not have happened in a thread, not so immediate.
Praise Almighty God for live chat...Jesus-style and for such loving and forgiving Christians from which i have much to learn.
I have had a tricky time as a Christian from 18 when God first called me. In church i have been hindered and hurt by several Christians and leaders of churches. Telling me to trust them and living like Christianity is a life-style choice and not a nose-to-floor service of the one, true and only living God.
Giving me lists of things that i need to change when they knew i could not change those things myself. Telling me to live how they could not and did not live themselves. Trying to take the place of God in my life and open my eyes before i was a mature Christian and able to respond freely to Gods conviction on my life.
Well meaning, yes some of them were. Showing me scriptures, yes lots, but mostly the ones telling me to get my life in order and none of the ones that told me how to. None telling of His kindness that lead me to repentance. None telling of His love that melts my heart. All telling of his judgement.
It took me years to trust God because of this. Years for God to teach me who he really is, a God of love, who teaches and disciples and calls and guides and forgives me until i am aware and then he convicts me and gives me the strength to succeed.
All done by his grace so i can only praise HIS name, not my works.
Twenty-three years later and i had learned to look to God for all my teaching via his Holy Spirit. I even thanked God many times for the hurt caused to me by Christians along the way. I thanked him because it lead me to this place of reliance only on him. I did not see the unforgiveness and hurt in my life....until today.
The live chat forum is a small part of talk Jesus but it is a place where God is at work and indeed worked in my life today to remove hurt and unforgiveness.
In a conversation where i thought i was justified and scripturally correct, i made a huge error and hurt someone. God showed me keenly that i was doing exactly what those other Christians had done to me early on in my Christian walk. The very thing i was trying to stand up for i had done and in the worst possible and most public way for the person i had hurt.
Even after when another sister tried to correct me, my pride would not see it.
God spoke to me; that was enough for me to apologize to the person i hurt and they graciously and readily forgave me. A lesson in how to be right and yet be so very, very wrong! (The plank and the speck story springs to mind)
Many years of hurt and anger came out in floods of tears as i sat staring at my screen. That may not have happened in a thread, not so immediate.
Praise Almighty God for live chat...Jesus-style and for such loving and forgiving Christians from which i have much to learn.
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