The Benefits of Singleness

[jennie549]

"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord" - 1 Corinthians 7:34-35

Reflection
From time to tim I get discouraged as I wait for my future husband. In those times I try to focus on two things: First, a while back God gave me a vision of being happily married in the future, looking back on my single years, and thinking, Why did I ever worry that God wouldn't look out for me? And what good did it do to worry? Second, I try to focus on preparing to be a good wife. I want to build my intimacy with God so that He is the foundation of everything I am now and in the future.
God has called me to give my dream of being married completely over to Him. It was difficult, but I prayed, "God, I'll love You even if You don't provide this for me. And I'll trust that You know what's best for me." Even the thought of having to say that made me cry. But I really did come to realize God is God, and He knows me and loves more intimately than anybody could. And if there's some reason in His divine purpose why I shouldn't be married, then He knows it. I trust He'll make happen in my life what's best for me. In this process, I've come to know such peace.
I'm not so naive as to think I won't ever struggle again or have days when I'm lonely. But on those lonely days, I know I'll have my strong community to lean on. And I'll fall back on what I know to be true, even when it might not feel true: God loves me, He knows what's best for me, and He has His reasons for what's happening in my life. And really that's enough.

Looking Further
In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul lists the benefits of being single versus being married in this world:

• Your body belongs only to the Lord (verse 4)
• You have more time to devote to prayer and intimacy with God (verse 5)
• You can know the joy of fulfilling God's will for your life (verse 17)
• You will save yourself from trouble (verse 28)
• You can be singularly focussed on how to please the Lord, rather than putting pleasing your spouse above pleasing God (verse 32-34)

Getting married is not the solution to all of life's problems, as we singles are tempted to think. Married people also struggle with loneliness and sexual temptation. And it is definitely worse to marry the wrong person than to not get married at all. Far too many people have settled for less than God would have for them by marrying rather than waiting for God's blessing, when perhaps in His timing He was trying to protect them from troubles in this world. God really does know us best and loves us most. He is worth trusting in our present and future.

Living it Out
Whether your single or married, it really boils down to the same thing. Have you surrendered your will and your future to god? It's a tough prayer to pray, but I encourage you to pray it every morning as you begin your day. You might pray something like this: "Lord, I lay this day and my future before You. I surrender my own diesires to Your will for me." Why not start today?

*This devotion was found in Rebecca St. James' book, Pure. Published in 2008 by FaithWords.*

 

[JCslover]

This is a good post thanks ,I agree its best to trust God and wait.I too feel like this sometimes wondering when God is going to provide the right soulmate in my life after being divorced over 8 years now .But I do agree its best to be single rather than getting into a godless unhappy marriage like I did,I didnt do its Gods way before but hey praise God for his grace and forgivness.I do have a very close friendship to jesus but Im only human and do feel upset not over the divorce because that eas so unhappy marriage so i was glad when it ended,but i get sad that I dont have that special human someone.Of course Jesus is very most special but of course thats a very different relationship.However I would rather do it Gods way this time even if it means remaining single.But Im trusting in God that he will provide the right christian man for me in his own time.I hope its soon because I be 35 on my birthday not getting any younger,on the other hand its all up to God and my life is in his hands.This time around if God does provide the right feller for me I will do it Gods way but not my way.

 

[azuredepths]

Regarding this topic I'll just leave you with a verse from Philippians to meditate on it

And the verse is Philippians 3:7-15

Good post jennie btw

 

[Truehearts]

Thanks for sharing this!

I really enjoy being single too, seriously... I dont see myself falling inlove any sooner, there are so many things between me and the Lord that I need to unravel first, I want our(me & God) relationship be tougher than anyone who will come my way, and I believe and pray that at this very moment God prepares that man for me too.

I have a full faith in Him if He plans to give me to anyman whom I can be most helpful with.. He will give the best and I will wait.... with Him.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

God loves me, He knows what's best for me, and He has His reasons for what's happening in my life. And really that's enough.

"I am the Lord your God. You shall have no othetr gods before me."
(Ex 20:1-2 NIV)

One BIG problem in marriage is that, over time, a subtle shift takes place; the spouse we can see and love and interact with physically becomes more important than our Creator, who loves us perfectly and meets all our true needs out of that love.

SLE

 

[lanie0323]

Thanks so much Jennie for sharing this to us.
I'm single & I'm happy that God has saved me from all the troubles in being in a wrong, self-centered relationship.

At first I really don't understand why God has allowed pain in my heart. But as I grow closer to Him. I was able to completely know His purpose and will.

I will praise God forever!

 

[jennie549]

you are most welcome lanie. This was awakening to myself to me as well. I thought I had a great relationship, but realized the destruction it could bring to my life.

 

[spirit1st]

1Co 7:32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
1Co 7:33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
1Co 7:34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.


1Co 7:35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

 

[David777]

What about

Matthew 19:10-13 (New American Standard Bible)

10 The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."[/COLOR]

11 But He said to them, Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.

12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

His masters voice, baa, baa, baa.

 

[TheAristocrat]

I couldn't agree more with this post. I've been single now for nearly eight years, and the spiritual growth I have experienced in that time simply would not have happened. I consider myself grateful to have been able to devote the time I have into my relationship with God, and the closer I get, the less lonely I feel. It's a void that nobody else could fill. While I may yet end up getting married, I have no objection to staying single.

 

[grace07]

This is a good post jeanie.. Thank you for sharing and this encouraging words.. I too am single.. waiting in His leading and right direction.. He knows what my desires.. I leave it to Him the author and finisher of faith.

 

[CowabungaChrist]

Jennie, great post.

I'm of the mind that each of us needs to spend time outside of a relationship to test the love we can receive through Christ alone.

 

[::PreciousinChrist::]

Dear Jennie,
Thanks for posting in such a wonderful reminder in this area in our lives. I was blessed yet alerted with the verse in the heading.

Singleness, as far as I've learnt in my life, is a preparation stage which will help us to draw more closer intimately to the LORD Jesus and God the Father.

During such times, God Himself takes us through different courses in life to toughen us up as we lean on Him - learning His ways and knowing who He really is through His Word. Keeping Him always - as said- our Foundation.
And when the time arrives, we are prepared to face the challenges with Him in our marriage(s).

God bless you
PRE

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Jenn,

This post is wonderful. I myself nearly ended up with someone because my thinking was totally out of whack...at that time I felt it was my last chance to have someone and was willing to settle for less than what God wanted for me. In the end it was God Himself that opened my eyes and helped me see that being sad all the time wasn't what God wanted at all..He wants me to be happy and blessed with a man who He has chosen
for me.

As I wait on the right man I'm enjoying my single life and all the blessings God has given me...spending time with my niece and nephew, My time alone with my Lord of course, time spent with my mom on our walks, each day brings a new blessing and I'm thankful for this time in my life.

I've also learned something else...in being single and having that time to grow closer to God I've found that in order to be able to submit to someone whom God has placed in our lives we must first be able to submit to Him and His will. In My time being single I am growing closer to the our Lord everyday and learning what true love and trust are. I"m learning to be patient, to submit and lean on Him and not on my own understanding. Yes, being single sometimes can be hard but over all its a sheer blessing because we can
focus on God and our walk with Him which will prepare us to be the wives He has called us to be.

God bless you!

 

[4wheelpeel]

i have been pondering this lately, im not sure what God wants for me when it comes to a mate. im 27 and have never even dated, im just having trouble finding any girl my age that is actively seeking God. it makes me wonder if i am supossed to be a virgin for life. on one hand i would love to find someone and get married but on the other if God wants me to be His and only His then who am i to argue, there have been a few instances where i prayed and prayed about starting a relationship with someone and God just slammed the door so i dont know. it is encouraging to hear that saving myself for God is even better than saving myself for a person though .

 

[dburr1]

What a wonderful post, jennie549! I have been trying to do that exact thing lately. I went through a really difficult break-up a few months ago. I still have my hard days, but I really liked your logic behind the whole thing.
"And I'll fall back on what I know to be true, even when it might not feel true: God loves me, He knows what's best for me, and He has His reasons for what's happening in my life."
God Bless!
~Daylee

 

[Peace Seeker]

It was difficult, but I prayed, "God, I'll love You even if You don't provide this for me. And I'll trust that You know what's best for me." Even the thought of having to say that made me cry. But I really did come to realize God is God, and He knows me and loves more intimately than anybody could. And if there's some reason in His divine purpose why I shouldn't be married, then He knows it.

Awesome post, Jennie!

I believe being single is the best thing to be in regards to our walk with God, but also that God has enabled each of us to different callings based on His unique plans for all of us.

In reply to the part of your statement that I put in bold red, my wife and I have ended up with not being able to have children, despite badly wanting them, while everyone in our extended family has them, friends do, etc.
So I know how hard and tear-felt it is to be able to say, "God, I'll love You even if You don't provide this for me"!!!!

Keep the faith sis, blessings to you!!!

 

[spirit1st]

If unevenly yoked! We might well lean toward pleasing our mate and not doing what is right in the LORDS eyes! I had found my self not going to church to please my wives desires and not reading the bible with my family at times! putting my wife first above things i should have done! In the end ? I was the loser as well as my kids!
Pretty sad ! We try so hard to hang on too these things! Then in the end We see it was all in Vain ! better to do what is best For the LORD and be a blessing to your Family ! And too GODS kingdom ! which starts with our own household!