Thursday my mom called...

[diana31483]

She was saying that church people came to her house and I said yes, but you did go to church when you was younger so I thought you was interested to be with Jesus again! She got mad b/c I said I don't want to hear it from you; I thought this would be a good conversation to check how me, Brian and the baby was doing. Also, I hung up on her when she started to yell at me.

 

[Dreamer]

Dear Diana,

Your mom doesn't have the understanding that you do about Jesus.

Are you the one that asked the people from church to visit her? That was very nice of you, and I'm sure that GOD appreciates it, even if your mom does not.

Diana, I know it's hard, but you've got to set the example for your mother. You have the Light of the World living in your heart....and it's quite evident that she doesn't.

Be your positive self. Love her even when she isn't lovable. But don't allow her to walk all over you or abuse you verbally. I think it was fine to hang up, but next time, say "bye", first.

You just keep following your Lord Jesus Christ and pray for your mom. God is in control, sister.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Diana: I'm curious. You say that your mom went to church when she was young. What happened to make her stop? Is she angry at God? Why was she yelling at you?

SLE

 

[diana31483]

my mom

my mom did go to church when she was younger but she stopped because of drinking and making problems for my mom and also she is mad at me for making the decisions she made when she was with my dad and that she doesnt see me anymore and she doesnt wish to see me but she does love my son brian she didnt accept him at first but she always asks about him when i call her once in a while. just pray that my mom will change her life to see me and my son brian for who we are and not something evil thanx for your prayers

love, diana31483

 

[SpiritLedEd]

just pray that my mom will change her life to see me and my son brian for who we are and not something evil.

I can relate to how you feel. My daughter refuses to talk to me and that hurts. Since your mom refuses to have anything to do with you, you might be hurting your cause by trying to call her. I've stopped trying to talk to my daughter. I can't change her heart. Only God can do that.I firmly believe Mk 11:22-23 for healing of my relationship with her. The key is to not allow doubt to take control.

SLE

 

[diana31483]

i call her maybe once a month

i just want her to know i love her as my mom and i know she didnt make the right decisions about me when i was a kid and i do forgive her but she cant continuing to treat me like an ant that doesnt have feelings and i do have feelings when my mom says those things it makes me think she doesnt love me as her daughter.:coocoo:

 

[SpiritLedEd]

but she cant continuing to treat me like an ant that doesnt have feelings

Unfortunately, Diana, she can continue in this behavior as long as she chooses or until she lets God into her life and allows Him to change her thinking. I have a similar issue with my daughter except I caused the problem. She refuses to have anything to do with me. I've attempted to make amends to her sevedral times and she's refused to hear me every time. It hurts a lot but, I have to "Let Go and Let God."

SLE

 

[diana31483]

mom

i decided to let it go and also i talk to her about a couple times a month just to see how everything is with everything going on i cant take that stuff with her in my life so i dont tell her anything that is going on i have friends that are there for me all the time that wont let anything happen to me and i know i am going to be ok without her since i havent been with her since i was 9 and my dad since i was 11. everyone just dumps me off and dont care about me so i am so used to it at times i hardly believe that they care about me.

 

[Boanerges]

Don't take that rejection personally but instead pray for your mom for she is on bondage.
You are amongst friends here and we care about you, just realize that it is her woundedness talking.
Many blessings in His Name,
brother Larry.

 

[diana31483]

hey i been did that

she wont let it go so i guess i better let her go because she just wants to fight with me so its whatever i am so tired of the drama with friends and family.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

she wont let it go so i guess i better let her go because she just wants to fight with me so its whatever i am so tired of the drama with friends and family.

I have a situation with my daughter wherein she refuses any contact with her mother and I. Her mother and I (mostly "I") caused a great deal of pain in her life and she chooses to respond in an unhealthy way. As a pastor friend of mine once said, "Sometimes you have to love them from a distance."

SLE

 

[diana31483]

yes i agree

i do have to love her from a distance thats what i been doing i do love my mom and care for her but its like im not gonna keep trying if she doesnt want to put any effect in it so its whatever to her and i miss my mom its been 16 years since we had a mother and daughter bond its so hard!!!!!!!!

 

[Dreamer]

Come to a place of acceptance about your mom. Love her at a distance, like Spirit Led Ed recommended. You can't change her mind. That's God's realm. He can woo her with His Holy Spirit, but she can still say no. If I know God like I think I know Him, He is working on your mom even now and has been, and will be in the future. Take hope, my young sister, and live your life to the fullest.

Many adults do not get along with their moms. The ones you hear about so much are the ones who DO get along with their moms. I am glad about that and all, but they really do not have any idea how it hurts others when they take for granted a loving mom, a mom who wants to love her grandchildren, a mom who is still interested in your life. Not all moms do this. My mom didn't. She's gone now, and in heaven our relationship will be restored to right positions.

I'm stubborn too, and some of it is my fault.

Ask God also to search your heart and see if He can find anything in the way of errors. You will be glad that you did. He is a good God, He is on your side, but still you must be pliable to Him and accountable to Him no matter what your mom does.

I know it is hard. But no one every promised the Christian life would always be easy. He is with you in the fire. His promises to you will be fulfilled in His perfect time.

love you,
Jan

 

[SpiritLedEd]

i miss my mom its been 16 years since we had a mother and daughter bond its so hard!!!!!!!!

Diana,

Loving her from a distance has nothing to do with how far apart your residences are. Its about leaving her alone, not trying to contact her, and praying that God will change her heart. As I wrote earlier, I have a similar situation with my daughter. I know her telephone number, but I don't call it because I know that her heart is frozen shut against me and she would spew nothing but anger at me. I love her and I long for a relationship with her, but I'm not going to risk her messing with my serenity.

When I surrendered my life to Jesus' control, I learned that making Him #1 in my life brings me the guidance and the serenity I need to enjoy life while He's putting my broken pieces together.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding." (Prv 3:5 NIV)

SLE

 

[diana31483]

i havent been talking 2 her either

i been trying to not to call her i dont care about her anymore she isnt worth my time and energy since all she says its all my fault!!!

 

[SpiritLedEd]

i been trying to not to call her i dont care about her anymore she isnt worth my time and energy since all she says its all my fault!!!

Deciding to hate her will only make things worse. Love her from a distance. Study Roimans 12: 17-21.

SLE

 

[Peterorange]

i been trying to not to call her i dont care about her anymore she isnt worth my time and energy since all she says its all my fault!!!

I'm praying for you sister, I have very little contact with my dad and there is a gulf between us. But your situation is much harder. Like the person above said, please ask God to replace any hate and resentment (which are our natural human reactions) with his power to love and forgive.

I'm praying one day she will see how much she has hurt you and how much you care about her. And that you will continue to have friends you can trust and pray with in the meantime.