unsure about my bf bc he believes u don't have to repent

[Kenzie]

hi everyone i do not know what to do..i got back with my ex boyfriend who is a drug addict...says he is not doing drugs...says he is homeless...everytime God comes up, he says
"i'm only human...and God knows my heart" and i tell hiim i'm not human i'm a new creation! he said "pleasure" is not a sin...he said he enjoys drinking...and if he is hanging out having a beer..it's not a sin i said no, it is a sin God says to be of a sober mind! mind you, i can't quote each scripture at the time but i sure do remember and can find it. i tell him to put on the armor of God and pray read his bible...i do not think that he actually prays, i know its judgemental but how can you not have conviction to say such things??does not the holy spirit convict him? then i start thinking well maybe God wants me to be with him so i can help him., help him to change..i spent over four years now five devoting time and emotion and money and my heart to helping him to see that i love him and that he has to stop doing drugs. this is how i feel please someone give me some insight and wisdom! dear God give me insight and wisdom and confirmation in Jesus' name! amen. oh by the way i am 23 i feel like i may never meet a godly man someone who truly loves god with all his heart..it's so rare i still have not met that man yet.

 

[DutchChristian]

Dear Kenzie,

move away as quick as you can this man is of the devil doing the works of his father: the devil.

he has a bad influence on you and the devil does lie and tell you: hey it will all be alright just keep going with him, he will turn around = LIE

The Bible Tells us:

Sin = sin

Ephesians 5:
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Be encouraged today be Strong in Christ and take a stand for yourself, have no fellowship with darkness as it WILL draw you back in!

God Bless you,
Dutch

 

[Chad]

Hi @Kenzie

2 CORINTHIANS 6
14 q Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For r what 1 fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what 2 communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

I believe it's important to help people, but in this case a relationship such as being together as bf/gf or spouses would be against His will

 

[amadeus2]

@Kenzie
Others have posted scriptures and advice, but the final answer for you, the only one that ultimately matters, is what does God want from you?

In your heart you must come to know if it is your flesh that keeps you with the man... or if it is God's love in you desiring to help the man through your own witness to come to a better place. I will be praying for you and your situation. Ask of God for He will not fail you if you trust Him.

 

[lisag2]

Hi Kenzie, The book of Corinthians says bad company corrupts good character. It is possible to help your friend but difficult considering the emotional ties. You do not have to be in a relationship with someone to help them. You cannot sacrifice your convictions to help him with his. It seems he doesn't realize he has an issue. He needs to want a deeper relationship with God and that is not something that you can convince him to have. pray for him and share scripture when and if he will allow it. Pray and seek strength from God daily and be open to what he says. Do not continue a bf/gf relationship. This could only lead to more heartache (ie pregnancy, pulling YOU away from God) . He needs God kenzie, not a girlfriend. Know everything I say is in Love. Praying for you. 1st Corinthians 15:33-do not be misled, Bad company corrupts good character.

 

[spirit1st]

He will drag you down . You cannot change people unless they want to be changed . Only God changes people.

You must chose between this guy and the LORD . Think you can change Him is false .

 

[Kenzie]

thanks for your reply you are so right...i was on my way home and thought to myself...i am just going to tell him that i want to help him but we can't have a relationship. i just feel so so SOOOOO terrible because his mother won't take him in he has no social security card to be able to get a job...and i have no idea what to do..i feel like i can see in his eyes that he just needs someone to help him but i cannot take his sexual innuendos and it hurts me so much to know that five years ago at one point in life..i loved him so much!

 

[blackbear4110]

thanks for your reply you are so right...i was on my way home and thought to myself...i am just going to tell him that i want to help him but we can't have a relationship. i just feel so so SOOOOO terrible because his mother won't take him in he has no social security card to be able to get a job...and i have no idea what to do..i feel like i can see in his eyes that he just needs someone to help him but i cannot take his sexual innuendos and it hurts me so much to know that five years ago at one point in life..i loved him so much!

It can be VERY hard, even painful, to want to help someone who doesn't want help. The problem is, as has already been stated, you can't change him. Only God can change him, and that only when he is willing to allow God to change him. Sure, everything you do to witness to him is a big plus, for God's Word does not return void. But I am in complete agreement that your relationship with him is not a wise choice. If you distance yourself, it will most likely be easier to hear God's voice and direction without your emotions getting in the way.
Pray for him, and don't stop praying for him. Pray that God's will be done, and intercede on his behalf for his salvation.
But most importantly, don't let your own relationship with God be hindered.

I will be praying for you, along with others.
God bless!
~Blackie

 

[spirit1st]

satan uses everything to bring us down or keep us trapped . Thinking we are doing good helping someone . can even destroy ourselves .

I know i tried for years to help a person who did not care about my LORD JESUS . It only bought more and more problems and was really hurting others lots .

very sorry now I did not stop it at it beginning .

Some times we think we are doing good ? when we really are doing bad .

 

[Kenzie]

thankyou, i told him exactly how i felt..and he went straight to the homeless shelter. i feel better about it all..and my relationship with Jesus comes first

 

[sintheticg]

Drug addicts are experts in manipulation, glad to see you did the smart thing. Evangelistic dating is a bad idea.

 

[faithfulservant]

i know its judgemental but how can you not have conviction to say such things??.

It's not "judgmental," it's sound counsel! I think it's time to cut this guy loose. You cannot change him, only God can do that. Also, if you are carrying on a physical relationship with him you are not walking with a repentant heart yourself. It may be what's muddying your thinking on this on all counts. It's time to take a long step back from this man and simply pray for him. If you are seeking a husband, let God bring whomever that is to you.

 

[spirit1st]

I made this mistake. And took it to the end pretty much.
Married a woman that did not care about my LORD JESUS . Had kids . Then after 20 years she left. Took Her back once and She did the same stuff all over again. The Kids are broken and Finding life much harder. Thinking the Girls and guys they meet will also dump them ?

It really hurts the kids lots when one parent leaves and is even worse when they feel ,one has rejected them . Counted them worthless in there eyes.

Bad things start at the beginning and seem wonderful many times . But most of the time end Very bad.

I tell these things because ? I do not want others to suffer .

We some times feel sorry for others and feel we must try to help . Not understand we might not only be hurting them ? But many others . Some we never planed on suffering .

Better start off evenly yoked and also to ask the LORD in any important thing we under take.

I have found in life? Those who look to the future will do better than those who live for the now.
I think this is really profound . And something we should All live by 100% .

 

[Kenzie]

wow, this reply i have read much later...i got myself into another predicament...where the guy told me he believed in Jesus...i got attatched, shared myself with him which i can't take back but oh well.and i swear he said he wanted the same things as me, and that is why i began to trust him and open up to him..but after i told him i wanted to repent he said i am being self righteous.well i had to walk away once again.and reading this post is confirmation for me.i can't beat my head against the wall and punish myself..that is not edifying. i can be honest and say, hey i trusted someone without knowing their character and i disobeyed Jesus. but now i get back up, and i am gonna dust myself off and God will carry me through this. the devil really had me twisted on the truth once again, but i know that if my eye causes me to sin it's better to cut my eye out than to go to hell with my eye.i am so sorry that happened to you, all things work for the good for those who love God. i am sorry at least u can share your wisdom with me and prevent me from the same...

 

[faithfulservant]

wow, this reply i have read much later...i got myself into another predicament...where the guy told me he believed in Jesus...i got attatched, shared myself with him which i can't take back but oh well.and i swear he said he wanted the same things as me, and that is why i began to trust him and open up to him..but after i told him i wanted to repent he said i am being self righteous.well i had to walk away once again.and reading this post is confirmation for me.i can't beat my head against the wall and punish myself..that is not edifying. i can be honest and say, hey i trusted someone without knowing their character and i disobeyed Jesus. but now i get back up, and i am gonna dust myself off and God will carry me through this. the devil really had me twisted on the truth once again, but i know that if my eye causes me to sin it's better to cut my eye out than to go to hell with my eye.i am so sorry that happened to you, all things work for the good for those who love God. i am sorry at least u can share your wisdom with me and prevent me from the same...

Kenzie, it's time to stop having relationships with men. Make Jesus your God/Man, and when He is ready to send the right man into your life, He will. If you continue to flirt with men, browse singles ads (even Christian ones), and even think about having a relationship right now you are only opening doors for Satan to lure you into a trap.

Step back, take a long break from men, and seek God. Then, in His time, He will put it all together for you. I would hate to see you end up hooking up with another guy and doing this all over again. Every time you have sex with someone, you are creating a soul-tie. These soul ties stay with you, and they link you to the other person in ways that only two people who are serious about being with one another for as long as they live should be connected. Connecting yourself like that to people who don't even know Jesus is bad news. It's like a contract, or a covenant. Our Father God is a covenant keeping God, and we should not approach covenants lightly. Relationships are covenants. Please take this seriously.