Want To Give Up? Go Ahead!

[Dreamer]

I guess the last time I tried to post this it was too long. So I'll try again. The Lord really wants me to say this.

On Feb. 3, Friday, of this month, I shut down my heart toward my husband.
I won't go into details, but things just weren't fair and there was verbal abuse involved. I decided that I would still be his wife and live here and take care of children, meals, home, grandchildren...but that toward him my heart was dead. No more would I open up to him and smile and laugh and love...just to have my heart taken out and mashed every time he went into one of his anger spasms.

Such a mouth. Such anger. Such sarcasm.

However, I was focusing on his anger and how it was hurting me. So I told God, "I give up." And God stepped in and told me how I can react differently to my husband's verbal outbursts.

Instead of reacting right away. I go somewhere quiet and pray. Then, I might talk about it with him later, calmly. It has only been ten days since I "gave up" and gave this situation to God, but already there have been great and mighty changes in this home, for there is peace here that wasn't here before.

Thank you, God.

 

[Mike]

Thanks for shareing . I will pray for you and your home to be at peace . Mike

 

[sunshine307]

Praise the Lord Dreamer. You have found the secret. It's only when we reach the end of ourselves and let God take control that things really begin to happen. Our God is an awesome God.

 

[stephen]

Thankyou for sharing the situation you face at this time. With the others on this board I lift you up in prayer. Let there be a great transformation.

Jesus said'Iwill never leave you, nor forsake you'

 

[kindsfater]

Amen, stephen! Such encouraging truth to be found in God's Word!

Dreamer, I've been praying for you and your precious fam sister! God's doing a work...never doubt it! Love you guys!

 

[calluna]

Hi Dreamer, my heart leapt when I read your post. Ladywa who posted on another thread, has been on my heart for days, she has been experiencing some similar stuff. I will encourage her to read your post. Thank you and yes the Lord must have wanted you to share this.

Bless you

Your friend in Christ
Heather

 

[Dreamer]

Just when I start to feel sorry for myself, God sends another person into my life to encourage me...thank you

 

[calluna]

Hi Dreamer, we are online at the same time, how awesome is that? I just posted to Ladywa. I am just blown away by the Lord right now, I am overcome by His love. How He uses this site to bring blessings to one another and Give Him Glory. :girl_hug: to you with all my

Jesus is amazing!!!!

Your friend in Christ
Heather

 

[TDS52]

Your post was such a blessing and a note of change from the earlier ones. You gave reason and credit for that change to our loving, HEAVENLY FATHER.
Isn't HE awesome? We have to come to the bottom of the pit with ourselves, before we can "look up" to our greatest HELPER because we "try to fix things for ourselves". GOD wants us to acknowledge our nothingness and HIS ALMIGHTY POWER. HE wants us to allow HIM to be GOD...in, with, and through us. May GOD bless you!

Because of Calvary,
Diane(TDS52)

 

[Dreamer]

To be honest, I really do still need prayer. I guess I need to fall back in love with my husband. I was so scared for him to come back from his year in Iraq. Because I was only married to him 8 months before he left, but it was long enough to find out that he is a very, very angry person.

Several weeks before he was to come home I fell into the worst depression of my life. I didn't know if my teenaged daughter and infant son would be able to stay here if he came home as angry a person as he was when he left....or perhaps even came home worse, as the war does to some people.

He says he is angry because of the Vietnam War. So I sure hoped he didn't come home from this war even angrier.

I am doing better but still struggling. He tries to tell me how to raise my daughter and he's too loud and pushy. He is not happy for me when I have accomplishments. I have been hired to do a series of articles for our local paper about what christians are doing in our county, but he just seems jealous and resentful. It's hard for me. I would like to feel like he loves me enough to be proud of me.

Pray for me, please.

 

[calluna]

Hi Dreamer. So from what you wrote, you are a military spouse? Yes my heart goes out to you. I was one. My husband is now retired.

If your husband is still active duty and has all this anger it must reflect in his performance at work. The military offers support to help its members if they are suffering from post traumatic war syndrome or are feeling suicidal or any other mental problem. I know his problem ultimately is in the Lord's hands , but seeking help from a professional can calm the fires down and can be a step in the right direction. And as a military spouse, there is support for you too. You should not be handling this on your own. So if your husband is active duty and is behaving this way. You can ask for help from the family support center on the post or base.

Am I getting your situation wrong or am I in the ballpark?

Dreamer hang on to the stength you demonstrated in your last post.
Jesus heres your cries He sees your heart. Lean on Him. I know it's hard.

Your friend in Christ
Heather

 

[Chad]

Thank you Dreamer for sharing your feelings, prayer request and of course your testimony of GOD's work in your life. Praise GOD for the progress and the quick one too. Keep your eyes focused on the victory in Jesus Christ and the testimony you've already experienced in the 10 days you mentioned.

Thank you Father in Heaven for your grace and works in our lives!

 

[SpiritLedEd]

To be honest, I really do still need prayer. I guess I need to fall back in love with my husband. I was so scared for him to come back from his year in Iraq. Because I was only married to him 8 months before he left, but it was long enough to find out that he is a very, very angry person.

Several weeks before he was to come home I fell into the worst depression of my life. I didn't know if my teenaged daughter and infant son would be able to stay here if he came home as angry a person as he was when he left....or perhaps even came home worse, as the war does to some people.

He says he is angry because of the Vietnam War. So I sure hoped he didn't come home from this war even angrier.

I am doing better but still struggling. He tries to tell me how to raise my daughter and he's too loud and pushy. He is not happy for me when I have accomplishments. I have been hired to do a series of articles for our local paper about what christians are doing in our county, but he just seems jealous and resentful. It's hard for me. I would like to feel like he loves me enough to be proud of me.

Pray for me, please.

Dreamer: I presume your husband was in the military and went to VietNam. Is he getting counselling for his issues with that war? As a veteran, he might be eligible for some kind of counselling through the Veterans Administration at no cost.

Also, for yourself, I suggest you find a support group for wives in your situation or friends in your church you can call and talk to about this stuff at need.

God does indeed love you ferociously and He has provided healing for you by working in your spirit Himself and by working through other people. But, you have to reach out for the healing that will come through others.

SLE

SLE

 

[kindsfater]

My precious sister, Dreamer! Look at all these brothers and sisters who are willing to stand in the gap for you! AMEN! Look at the love Christ has for you which He is showing your thru your eternal family! Oh, GOD is good!

Almighty God...Maker of heaven and earth...we praise your name because you are in control of all things! Because you love us so much that you sent your own Son to pay the price for our sins! Because your Word says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Because your Word also promises that if we believe, we will receive whatever we ask for in prayer! How awesome are you, oh God? How temporary are the things of this earth and flesh...but you, oh Lord, are everlasting!!!

Father God, considering these Truths and Promises from your Word, we come together and petition you on behalf of our sister, Dreamer, that you would strengthen her inner man as it talks about in Ephesians and that you would do a work in her to renew and restore her love for her husband! Fill her up to overflowing with your perfect love, oh Lord, that it might spill out onto her family, especially toward her husband! Fill up the home of this precious family with a peace that surpasses our human understanding, Lord! Continue to send people and reminders from your Word to show Dreamer that you have and will love her better than anyone else ever can! Bless her for her honesty and humbleness in seeking prayer from her brothers and sisters regarding her current situation. Allow her to experience your love for her in such a tangible way, it blocks out completely any of the hurt she has been experiencing Lord. Keep her eyes focused on you as she does her work for the paper as well Lord!

And, Lord, we ask you to do a work in her husband's heart as well! Tenderize his heart toward his family, Lord! Reveal to him the Truth of what your word says regarding how a husband is to love his wife and then grant him that love for Dreamer! Give him release from his anger Lord! Send your angels to form a protective hedge around this family, their home, their work places, their schools Lord, and give them that respite and rest they need right now Lord while you do your work in this family! Keep the enemy far and away from this family Lord, in Jesus name!

Lord, we praise you and thank you because the victory is already won! In Jesus' mighty name....AMEN!

 

[janelle4christ]

Thanks for sharing, all things work together for good
God bless you, and see you later.

 

[Dreamer]

I wish that I had been honest in the first place about the condition of my marriage. When I came here to tJ, I let on that my marriage was fine, and I knew it wasn't. I think that was my pride. I was tired of christians at other websites looking down on me because I'm the "lady with all the problems".
I do apologize for not being honest.

I just thank you, my brothers and sisters, for loving me and accepting me and praying for my family. You people are special--and I mean that for real.

 

[kindsfater]

Sweet Sister~

Dreamer:girl_hug: !!! I love you, sister, with a love better than my own! You are special too...fearfully and wonderfully made...PRAISE GOD! I agree with so many others before me who have said "I'm glad you shared!"

Unlike God who can see and know the condition of your heart and your heart's desires, we can't know how to pray for you unless you share with us! It doesn't always require details, but just the asking will let us know to start praying you up, sister!

Please pray for me and mine as well, dearest sister! Pray for the Lord to open the eyes of our understanding so that we can BELIEVE (and RECEIVE) that there is not only salvation to be had thru Jesus Christ but VICTORIOUS living as well! Thanks!

 

[calluna]

to you Dreamer lots of it. None of us are in any position to look down on you, pass judgement whatever, trust me I have alooooooooot of issues and problems ..... and one by one with the strength of Jesus Christ each day is better than the last.

I am learning not to look back! Phil3:13

I am encouraging you my sister to press on, keep your eyes on the prize

Rest in Jesus' s arms . Jesus loves you more than any person on earth can .

People let us down.!!!! because we are human. Jesus is perfect He won't let you down.

Dreamer I will pray for you as I have for my other sisters at TJ. :girl_hug: this is for you, I would give it in person if I could.

Your friend in Christ
Heather

 

[charity777]

Good Report

Prayer is one of our most powerful weapons against the enemy. I myself have encountered situations where its just best not open my mouth- I just remain still. Lately a family member started using unclean language toward me; so I just started praying in the Holy Ghost and he took care of it, amen.

 

[BecuzHeLives]

May God Blessed you Dreamer. I'll think of you in my prayer sister.