What is marriage?!

[oneup_shroom]

Hey everyone,

Me being a single guy, never married, and never really having a serious relationship... I have a question for my married and wiser christian comrades.

I ask out of a case of pure curiosity and my research hat really wants to look into and learn from other's perceptions of marriage/relationships. I guess the question started last Sunday when the pastor was praying at the end and he started praying over all the "married couples". I started to think, a bit selfishly I'll admit... "hey Pastor, what about us single people!" ... Then I thunk and thunk and thunk... and thunk some more ... it seems like we always pray for the married people.

Then came the question... WHY?! What is so pressing about being married that the church (or at least the services I attend) needs to focus specifically on it so much...

I then realized to understand why I have to know what. So... help me out, What is marriage?

What is marriage?

What does it feel like?
What does it look like from the inside?
How did the relationship happen for you and your spouse?
Is it as hard as "they" say?
Is it as rewarding as "they" say?
What are the major pitfalls you've experienced?
What are some of the high points you've loved?

.... anything else you want to add...
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Thanks for helping this curious creation out.

​

 

[Fragrant Grace]

For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 3:11

Greetings @oneup_shroom

That is some question you pose!
I can perhaps answer a little part of it and pray that it will be helpful to your inquisitive mind
There are others older and wiser here who can give you much better responses
And I write this to you brother as one who made major relationship mistakes previously

My relationship with my husband was built entirely on our mutual love for the Lord,
We shared fellowship and rejoiced in the love of Jesus together long before any thoughts of getting together even happened
When we did marry it was as if our hearts had been tightly bound together as one with Jesus in the centre

I firmly believe that Jesus has to be the centre point of any Christian marriage
For when the world and self seep in....Jesus is squeezed out and that is when pitfalls happen

Because I knew my husband and he was someone I could fellowship with.... our love grew that way.
There were no thoughts of looks, hairstyle, finances, popularity, clothing sense.....good thing too as we may never have chosen each other based on the usual worldly standards that are used to measure relationships

Except Thou built it, Father
The house is built in vain
Except Thou Lord sustain it
The joy will turn to pain:
But nought can break the union
Of hearts in Thee made one
And love which Thou has hallowed
Is endless love begun*

Heirs together of the grace of life
1 Peter 3:7

*From hymn O Father all creating by John Ellerton

 

[Brad Huber]

I know that good marriages are a symbol from God about how we should be faithful and loving toward our partners, and all Christians are to be the "bride" of Christ. Yet so many in this day and age, even Christians, see marriage as irreconcilable when partners disagree on too much or lose interest intimately with their partner. How can we as Christians be a witness to the world, when we cannot keep our own marriages going in love and trust.

And it says in one of the letters in the new testament (cant remember where, but its there) that any man in a position of authority must be a reputable "good" husband of one wife, to be an example to the rest.

 

[amadeus2]

Be slow to look for a wife, but do not avoid the issue either. Sometimes, a spouse is absolutely essential to living for God. Both Jesus and Paul spoke of the focus of an unmarried believer versus the focus of a married believer. The key, of course, in any case, is to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matt 6:33).
Paul said it is better to marry than to burn, but if you can serve God well and please without marrying then that is the way to go. Most people are unable to do this. If it is not a gift of God, I would say that is impossible.

I've been married for 41 years and I would not have it any other way, but not everyone is me walking in my shoes. Your walk is yours. Ultimately your walk is between you and God. Can you walk it without a natural spouse? Don't be too quick to answer that until you have heard a answer from God and are absolutely certain that the answer is from God. God back to the verse I cited above:

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matt 6:33

If you really do the two things asked of you: 1) seek God's the kingdom, and 2) seek God's righteousness, then the underlined phrase will apply to you. God will add to you everything that He knows is necessary. Do not presume that you know what is necessary. God does know better than you do what is necessary for you. Stick to the two goals and leave the 'adding to" to God: This includes a wife if there is to be one for you.