When A Band-Aid Won't Do

[Dreamer]

This is excerpted from a parenting article from a Dad's point of view. I thought it was well-worth a look.

By David Crim


I heard my daughter sobbing in the night. When she was a baby, I would pick her up and soothe her, and that was enough. But now she is a teenager. It turned out, she was sobbing because her boyfriend had just broken up with her that day, and she had kept the hurt secretly in her heart.

As adults, we tend to treat these teenage breakups like as small scratches on the heart; a dab of ointment and a band-aid will do. Compared to the more severe distresses we encounter as adults, this might be true. But a Band-Aid won't do. We can't fix a broken heart that way.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but Cindy and I have led our two daughters through a few teenage traumas. Along the way, we've learned some ways to lovingly respond.

1. Be real.
2. Listen
3. Wait and pray

Here is an example letter your teenage daughter might write to you if she felt safe enough to be straight with you:

"Dear Dad, :boy_hug: :girl_hug: This Is What I Need From You, Dad

Because I am often in conflict between my culture and becoming a godly young woman; because I want my life to have meaning and significance; and because I have a deep desire to be loved, would you please.........

* show me what real faith in God is like?
* love Mom like you mean it?
* keep your heart and mind pure of lust and sensuality?
* place more importance on our family than your job?
* be a spiritual leader at church?
* give me what I need rather than what I want?
* spend time with me?
* pray with me and for me?
* care about me--who I am, what I enjoy, what I think, where I'm going?
* believe in me?
* protect me?
* challenge me?
* hold me close?
* love me like you mean it?

Love,
Your Daughter

 

[mounty]

wow that is very good
i am dreading the day my little angal becomes a teenager
I hate the fact she is growing up at all , i want her to want to spend all day in my arms again rather than the 'i can do it myself mum' im getting now
im so scared about the day she will want to go to discos and boys ahhh the dreaded boys

 

[Vessel4Him]

I loved this... This is something I will use in my womens ministry also for the mother and daughters night out as a discussion topic.. Thank you for sharing..

GOD Bless
April

 

[Eve]

Dreamer,

I think this applies to both Mums and Dads alike. I have felt the distance growing sometimes between my daughter and myself as she embarks on the teenage years. I would also desperately like to see the relationship my daughter has with her step-father become more open.

We can but pray for them as we remember how our own teen years were.

God Bless

Eve

 

[Dreamer]

Eve, me too. The step-dad and daughter issue is a big issue at our house too.
God bless you.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

That article should be posted on office bulletin boards and factory breakrooms all over this country and all over the world.

SLE