foreverwjesus
Member
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Messages
- 183
I have been a member hear for a while now. i know over a year but i dont remember the exact dates.
I have written so much but just really realized i have never written and told you all my testimony. I am not sure where to begin really. Everytime I think of what Jesus has done in my life and what he has delivered me from the tears come falling down but not tears of pains of past but of Joy! I never have let my past bring me down because, I look at it as who i am today and not who I was then. I was born of a Family who didn't discuss religion it was not allowed to be discussed because everyone had come from different back grounds. My grandmother was Roman Catholic, my grandfather was from a Christian science and Presbyterian family, and my father believed there was no God. my mother she grew up under baptist, and holiness back grounds. Now you can see why religion was not a topic.
I was born in Daytona Florida but raised in richmond Va. I only really knew my grandparents on my fathers side because he didnt get along with moms family. I dont remember too much of my childhood growing up other then the times I spent with my Grandfather who I loved very much.
He always made me feel good about myself and treated me like i was important.
I didnt like being home much because of the abuse from my father. I was abused from the age of twelve sexually and emotionally by him. I went to my mother and told her and she moved us out from their and we lived in some apartments. Yet she still kept seeing him. At the age of fourteen I had started dating and ended up pregnant and scared. The man I was seeing was very abusive but with the pressure of my family I married him. I remained with him for a year but the beatings gotten so bad I was scared he would end up killing me and I had already had a miscarriage due to the beatings and I had a child as well. My mother in law at the time offered to take my daughter till I could get on my feet. I was a child then with no idea how the system worked so I couldnt go to them for assitance. I just knew they were the ones who took your kids away. after I agreed to let her because I had no where else to turn do to the fact my father had moved back in with my mother she told me I was not allowed to come back out to her house to see my Daughter. I turned to drugs, and lived on the streets. at the age of 15. well 15 1/2 .
I lived from abandoned apartments to friends and even strangers who would take me in. I had been taken in after a few months by a woman whos neice was a good friend of mine growing up. She was a wild one but she had the hugest heart. I remember coming home plenty of times her being so drunk she couldnt stand up. I used to pray even as a small child i knew there was a God because of the manger my grandmother had set out every year I would ask who the baby was and she told me it was Jesus. So I knew he had to be real. at the age of 17 I met someone who was moving to Florida and had asked if I wanted to go with them. I agreed it would be neat.
He was also a very heavy drinker. I hated the smell of alcohol because of the heavy drinkers that surrounded me. I did drink on occassions but it wasnt till I had moved to Florida and started to really hang out with some rough people that I started to drink heavy and use heavier drugs such as coke.
At the age of 21 I had gotten my oldest son who is 12 yrs old. I had started dancing for a career. I hated it but I did it to support my son and my habit. I remember when I had decided to quit using I was on the floor looking to see if I had dropped any of it and I glanced up and saw my son in his play pen looking back at me. I heard this voice ask me What are you showing your son?
I cried and put the pipe down. I felt so alone but yet I wasnt I had my son.after a while passed I had fell into a deep depression, and I had tried to kill my self before but I just couldnt get the lid off of the bottle of pain killers . Praise the Lord for child proof bottles!
I had met the man I am married to today. he come into my life. He was a great friend at first then he become more. His family meaning his mother and father took me in as part of the family. They had been walking with the Lord 14 yrs. They taught me so much and they were the ones who led me to Christ. I married their son and he as well has come to Christ. we have been through many storms along the ways but praise the Lord he has been faithful to keep us strong. I could never say thankyou to him enough for what he delivered me out of. I praise him I can hold my head up high today!
He has given me so much five beautiful children a wonderful marriage and an oppertunity to give back to him through my writings. Thank you Jesus I love you! now I want all of you to know something. I had to forgive those who did wrong to me and I have but see it took alot of faith ion Jesus to do so. Never hold the pain in if you have been hurt by one. put your faith in the one who Loves you unconditionally. I am an overcomer like many and I praise him every day for the work he has done in me. God bless all of you and sorry I never told you this before.
I have written so much but just really realized i have never written and told you all my testimony. I am not sure where to begin really. Everytime I think of what Jesus has done in my life and what he has delivered me from the tears come falling down but not tears of pains of past but of Joy! I never have let my past bring me down because, I look at it as who i am today and not who I was then. I was born of a Family who didn't discuss religion it was not allowed to be discussed because everyone had come from different back grounds. My grandmother was Roman Catholic, my grandfather was from a Christian science and Presbyterian family, and my father believed there was no God. my mother she grew up under baptist, and holiness back grounds. Now you can see why religion was not a topic.
I was born in Daytona Florida but raised in richmond Va. I only really knew my grandparents on my fathers side because he didnt get along with moms family. I dont remember too much of my childhood growing up other then the times I spent with my Grandfather who I loved very much.
He always made me feel good about myself and treated me like i was important.
I didnt like being home much because of the abuse from my father. I was abused from the age of twelve sexually and emotionally by him. I went to my mother and told her and she moved us out from their and we lived in some apartments. Yet she still kept seeing him. At the age of fourteen I had started dating and ended up pregnant and scared. The man I was seeing was very abusive but with the pressure of my family I married him. I remained with him for a year but the beatings gotten so bad I was scared he would end up killing me and I had already had a miscarriage due to the beatings and I had a child as well. My mother in law at the time offered to take my daughter till I could get on my feet. I was a child then with no idea how the system worked so I couldnt go to them for assitance. I just knew they were the ones who took your kids away. after I agreed to let her because I had no where else to turn do to the fact my father had moved back in with my mother she told me I was not allowed to come back out to her house to see my Daughter. I turned to drugs, and lived on the streets. at the age of 15. well 15 1/2 .
I lived from abandoned apartments to friends and even strangers who would take me in. I had been taken in after a few months by a woman whos neice was a good friend of mine growing up. She was a wild one but she had the hugest heart. I remember coming home plenty of times her being so drunk she couldnt stand up. I used to pray even as a small child i knew there was a God because of the manger my grandmother had set out every year I would ask who the baby was and she told me it was Jesus. So I knew he had to be real. at the age of 17 I met someone who was moving to Florida and had asked if I wanted to go with them. I agreed it would be neat.
He was also a very heavy drinker. I hated the smell of alcohol because of the heavy drinkers that surrounded me. I did drink on occassions but it wasnt till I had moved to Florida and started to really hang out with some rough people that I started to drink heavy and use heavier drugs such as coke.
At the age of 21 I had gotten my oldest son who is 12 yrs old. I had started dancing for a career. I hated it but I did it to support my son and my habit. I remember when I had decided to quit using I was on the floor looking to see if I had dropped any of it and I glanced up and saw my son in his play pen looking back at me. I heard this voice ask me What are you showing your son?
I cried and put the pipe down. I felt so alone but yet I wasnt I had my son.after a while passed I had fell into a deep depression, and I had tried to kill my self before but I just couldnt get the lid off of the bottle of pain killers . Praise the Lord for child proof bottles!
I had met the man I am married to today. he come into my life. He was a great friend at first then he become more. His family meaning his mother and father took me in as part of the family. They had been walking with the Lord 14 yrs. They taught me so much and they were the ones who led me to Christ. I married their son and he as well has come to Christ. we have been through many storms along the ways but praise the Lord he has been faithful to keep us strong. I could never say thankyou to him enough for what he delivered me out of. I praise him I can hold my head up high today!
He has given me so much five beautiful children a wonderful marriage and an oppertunity to give back to him through my writings. Thank you Jesus I love you! now I want all of you to know something. I had to forgive those who did wrong to me and I have but see it took alot of faith ion Jesus to do so. Never hold the pain in if you have been hurt by one. put your faith in the one who Loves you unconditionally. I am an overcomer like many and I praise him every day for the work he has done in me. God bless all of you and sorry I never told you this before.
