I had a strange and unpleasant experience this weekend. I watched Nickelodeon with my seven year old. Now, I like to think I'm a good parent and that I keep an eye on what my children watch. I've recently discovered that "an eye" isn't enough. I happened to be in the room, and my daughter's laughter caught my attention. Here's what I saw:
The boys (Drake and Josh) were putting together a model rocket. They didn't follow the instructions (part of the humor is apparently that these two juniors in High School are not the brightest bulbs in the box sometimes). Their sister (Megan?) was watching and telling them what they were doing wrong. She tried to help, not out of any goodness in her heart to help them, but because she was taking perverse joy in pointing out what was wrong with their works.
The rocket tipped over, activated, flew out a window, set fire to and destroyed the neighbor's tree house. Now I understand that no child's model rocket is going to do that kind of "tactical nuke" damage in real life. That's not the point.
The kid who lived next door went into a screaming fit (literally) about the loss of his tree house. His toy truck was also "humorously" destroyed by a falling piece of the ruined structure and he launched another screaming fit. I found his behavior down right distubing. He was well past the age of such a rediculous display and his parents seemed afraid of him and went out of their way to console him (treating him rather like he was a time bomb).
Drake, Josh, and Megan were ordered to build a new tree house. Megan was angry because she'd had almost nothing to do with the boys building the rocket and she'd miss a scheduled birthday party for a friend because of this incident. Her parents did not listen to her or let her explain that she really had not been involved, which was true. They also seemed to lack the mental fortitude to see the difference between causing her to miss an event she could not reschedule and ordering the boys to only be able to go on their planned activities (dates...with twins) if the tree house was finished.
So the unsupervised trio built a new tree house. The absent minded boys forgot to cut a door hole and so they ended up sealing themselves inside the structure as they screwed in the fourth wall. Megan took this opportunity to torture them by leaving them stranded in the structure for a while, then coming back and grilling hamburgers where they could smell the food. When they asked her to share the food, she threw raw hamburger meat at them. These two 11th grade boys then proceeded to eat the raw meat (commenting on its disgusting taste).
--
At that point, I'd had enough. The TV was turned off.
I found myself asking the question: Why is this funny?
First I had to explain to my daughter that good parents don't let their children play with things that can catch fire without being there to supervise the situation and prevent things from going wrong. Granted by 11th grade I'd expect more sense from these boys...but that's part of why I'd be on hand for any slip-ups.
Second I had to explain that it is never funny when someone's property is destroyed. And it's also not funny or acceptable to see a 12 year old boy go into screaming fits like a toddler.
Third I had to explain that good parents listen to their children when they say they weren't involved in a bad activity and do not punish an entire household equally for actions in which everyone did not have an equal part.
Fourth, I had to explain that vindictive behavior like what the girl showed to her brothers is never correct, or funny.
Fifth, I had to explain that good parents never ever leave their children (who couldn't be trusted with a simple bottle rocket and who have a track record for being stupid) alone with power saws and other tools to build a tree house.
And lastly, I had to explain very carefully that raw ground beef could make someone very sick or even kill them because it has bacteria in it like E. Coli that has to be cooked out before it is safe.
---
In a half hour show, my daughter was taught the following lessons:
1) Anything is funny if it's "not real" but on TV
2) The destruction of property through stupidity and negligence is funny.
3) Rudly pointing out how others are "messing up" is funny.
4) When your things are damaged, throw a fit.
5) If you throw frequent fits, people will fear you and try to please you.
6) Leaving someone stranded somewhere that they can't get out is funny.
7) Forcing hungry people to watch you eat is funny.
8) Throwing inedible food at hungry people is funny.
9) When someone gets you into trouble, you should be vindictive.
10) Raw meat is disgusting but safe to eat.
Gee...imagine what she would have learned if the show lasted an hour?
TV isn't real, but this situation was too close to real for my tastes. With the single exception of the immediate and complete damage that the rocket did to the tree house, I could see this entire situation playing out pretty much as written. The only difference would have been the far more dire consequences.
Humor is a hard concept for children to get. Less than a year ago this same child of mine thought phrases like "Have you ever seen a duck, sit on a truck?" were uproariously funny simply because they rhymed. It's up to us as parents to draw the line for them because they don't know there is a line to even be drawn.
The moral of my story? I'll be watching TV *with* my children *all* the time now to make sure that what they are watching isn't bad for them.
The boys (Drake and Josh) were putting together a model rocket. They didn't follow the instructions (part of the humor is apparently that these two juniors in High School are not the brightest bulbs in the box sometimes). Their sister (Megan?) was watching and telling them what they were doing wrong. She tried to help, not out of any goodness in her heart to help them, but because she was taking perverse joy in pointing out what was wrong with their works.
The rocket tipped over, activated, flew out a window, set fire to and destroyed the neighbor's tree house. Now I understand that no child's model rocket is going to do that kind of "tactical nuke" damage in real life. That's not the point.
The kid who lived next door went into a screaming fit (literally) about the loss of his tree house. His toy truck was also "humorously" destroyed by a falling piece of the ruined structure and he launched another screaming fit. I found his behavior down right distubing. He was well past the age of such a rediculous display and his parents seemed afraid of him and went out of their way to console him (treating him rather like he was a time bomb).
Drake, Josh, and Megan were ordered to build a new tree house. Megan was angry because she'd had almost nothing to do with the boys building the rocket and she'd miss a scheduled birthday party for a friend because of this incident. Her parents did not listen to her or let her explain that she really had not been involved, which was true. They also seemed to lack the mental fortitude to see the difference between causing her to miss an event she could not reschedule and ordering the boys to only be able to go on their planned activities (dates...with twins) if the tree house was finished.
So the unsupervised trio built a new tree house. The absent minded boys forgot to cut a door hole and so they ended up sealing themselves inside the structure as they screwed in the fourth wall. Megan took this opportunity to torture them by leaving them stranded in the structure for a while, then coming back and grilling hamburgers where they could smell the food. When they asked her to share the food, she threw raw hamburger meat at them. These two 11th grade boys then proceeded to eat the raw meat (commenting on its disgusting taste).
--
At that point, I'd had enough. The TV was turned off.
I found myself asking the question: Why is this funny?
First I had to explain to my daughter that good parents don't let their children play with things that can catch fire without being there to supervise the situation and prevent things from going wrong. Granted by 11th grade I'd expect more sense from these boys...but that's part of why I'd be on hand for any slip-ups.
Second I had to explain that it is never funny when someone's property is destroyed. And it's also not funny or acceptable to see a 12 year old boy go into screaming fits like a toddler.
Third I had to explain that good parents listen to their children when they say they weren't involved in a bad activity and do not punish an entire household equally for actions in which everyone did not have an equal part.
Fourth, I had to explain that vindictive behavior like what the girl showed to her brothers is never correct, or funny.
Fifth, I had to explain that good parents never ever leave their children (who couldn't be trusted with a simple bottle rocket and who have a track record for being stupid) alone with power saws and other tools to build a tree house.
And lastly, I had to explain very carefully that raw ground beef could make someone very sick or even kill them because it has bacteria in it like E. Coli that has to be cooked out before it is safe.
---
In a half hour show, my daughter was taught the following lessons:
1) Anything is funny if it's "not real" but on TV
2) The destruction of property through stupidity and negligence is funny.
3) Rudly pointing out how others are "messing up" is funny.
4) When your things are damaged, throw a fit.
5) If you throw frequent fits, people will fear you and try to please you.
6) Leaving someone stranded somewhere that they can't get out is funny.
7) Forcing hungry people to watch you eat is funny.
8) Throwing inedible food at hungry people is funny.
9) When someone gets you into trouble, you should be vindictive.
10) Raw meat is disgusting but safe to eat.
Gee...imagine what she would have learned if the show lasted an hour?
TV isn't real, but this situation was too close to real for my tastes. With the single exception of the immediate and complete damage that the rocket did to the tree house, I could see this entire situation playing out pretty much as written. The only difference would have been the far more dire consequences.
Humor is a hard concept for children to get. Less than a year ago this same child of mine thought phrases like "Have you ever seen a duck, sit on a truck?" were uproariously funny simply because they rhymed. It's up to us as parents to draw the line for them because they don't know there is a line to even be drawn.
The moral of my story? I'll be watching TV *with* my children *all* the time now to make sure that what they are watching isn't bad for them.
Eve
