Why marry?

[abigya]

I thought I’ll add this for your interest and conversation. In our world today, as you all can see, marriage is being mocked by celebrities and simple folk alike.
As Christians we are no better. Pre-marital relationships, abortion, divorce, adultery and covetousness are the great shunned sin.
I think the greatest determent to marriage has been, in my view, common-law "marriages". Many people are not so eager and preparing for a walk down the aisle.
At the rate this is going the only people who will marry are celebrities, homosexuals and people with animals [this might not be as far into the future as you might think].
So as Christians we need to be ready to defend marriage.

So this is the question I ask you - Why marry? Looking forward to hearing your views

is marriage all about fantasizing about love?
dream about having kids and family?
What are you thinking of when you get little old?

blessings
in christ

 

[Eclipse]

Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given that they may have children and be blessed in caring for them and bringing them up in accordance with God’s will.

90% of men and women will have been married by the age of 40 and, despite all the publicity and pressures to the contrary, there is a strong feeling that marriage should be forever. Although for this to be the case involves a great act of faith and represents one of the biggest compliments one human being can pay to another. The challenge of this great act of faith is by no means impossible as there are many Christian marriages which have lived and many which still live. They are quiet lives of great dedication, gradually deepening their commitment and love and because of their faith in Jesus they truly believe in the capacity of the human heart to love to the end.

It's easy to think that only "other people" get divorced. That your own marriage is somehow immune to heartache, infidelity and fights over who gets the house, the car, the dog. After all, how many of us would walk down the aisle if we believed our relationships would end up in divorce court?
Truth is, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee. Even men and women who grew up in stable homes, who attend church and consider themselves Christians, who promise "until death do us part," can have it all fall apart.

As Christians, we know that applying biblical principles to marriage will give us a stronger foundation than those of our unbelieving friends and neighbors. We know this, but what are we doing about it? In other words, what makes a marriage "Christian"?

According to author Gary Thomas, we're not asking the right questions. What if your relationship isn't as much about you and your spouse as it is about you and God?

Instead of asking why we have struggles in the first place, the more important issue is how we deal with them.

In Sacred Marriage, Thomas has not written your typical "how to have a happier relationship" book. Rather, he asks: How can we use the challenges, joys, struggles and celebrations of marriage to draw closer to God? What if God designed marriage to make us both happy and holy?

Viewing Marriage Realistically

"We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession," Thomas explains.

Instead, he says, we can appreciate what God designed marriage to provide: partnership, spiritual intimacy and the ability to pursue God — together. So, what does Thomas think is the most common misconception Christians have about marriage?

"Finding a 'soul mate' — someone who will complete us," he says. "The problem with looking to another human to complete us is that, spiritually speaking, it's idolatry. We are to find our fulfillment and purpose in God . . . and if we expect our spouse to be 'God' to us, he or she will fail every day. No person can live up to such expectations."

Everyone has bad days, yells at his or her spouse, or is downright selfish. Despite these imperfections, God created the husband and wife to steer each other in His direction.

Thomas offers an example: "When my wife forgives me . . . and accepts me, I learn to receive God's forgiveness and acceptance as well. In that moment, she is modeling God to me, revealing God's mercy to me, and helping me to see with my own eyes a very real spiritual reality."

While it's easy to see why God designed an other-centered union for a me-centered world, living that way is a challenge. So when bills pile up, communication breaks down and you're just plain irritated with your husband or wife, Thomas offers these reminders to help ease the tension:

God created marriage as a loyal partnership between one man and one woman.

Marriage is the firmest foundation for building a family.

God designed sexual expression to help married couples build intimacy.

Marriage mirrors God's covenant relationship with His people.

We see this last parallel throughout the Bible. For instance, Jesus refers to Himself as the "bridegroom" and to the kingdom of heaven as a "wedding banquet."

These points demonstrate that God's purposes for marriage extend far beyond personal happiness. Thomas is quick to clarify that God isn't against happiness per se, but that marriage promotes even higher values.

"God did not create marriage just to give us a pleasant means of repopulating the world and providing a steady societal institution to raise children. He planted marriage among humans as yet another signpost pointing to His own eternal, spiritual existence."

Serving Our Spouse

He spends the entire evening at the office — again. She spends money without entering it in the checkbook. He goes golfing instead of spending time with the kids. From irritating habits to weighty issues that seem impossible to resolve, loving one's spouse through the tough times isn't easy. But the same struggles that drive us apart also shed light on what we value in marriage.

"If happiness is our primary goal, we'll get a divorce as soon as happiness seems to wane," Thomas says. "If receiving love is our primary goal, we'll dump our spouse as soon as they seem to be less attentive. But if we marry for the glory of God, to model His love and commitment to our children, and to reveal His witness to the world, divorce makes no sense."

Couples who've survived a potentially marriage-ending situation, such as infidelity or a life-threatening disease, may continue to battle years of built-up resentment, anger or bitterness. So, what are some ways to strengthen a floundering relationship — or even encourage a healthy one? Thomas offers these practical tips:

Focus on your spouse's strengths rather than their weaknesses.

Encourage rather than criticize.

Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.

Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.

Young couples in particular can benefit from this advice. After all, many newlyweds aren't adequately prepared to make the transition from seeing one another several times a week to suddenly sharing everything. Odds are, annoying habits and less-than-appealing behaviors will surface. Yet as Christians, we are called to respect everyone — including our spouse.

Thomas adds, "The image I use in Sacred Marriage is that we need to learn how to 'fall forward.' That is, when we are frustrated or angry, instead of pulling back, we must still pursue our partner under God's mercy and grace."

Lastly, Thomas suggests praying this helpful prayer: Lord, how can I love my spouse today like (s)he's never been loved and never will be loved?

"I can't tell you how many times God has given me very practical advice — from taking over some driving trips to doing a few loads of laundry," Thomas says. "It's one prayer that I find gets answered just about every time."

While other marriage books may leave us feeling overwhelmed, spotlighting our shortcomings and providing pages of "relationship homework," Sacred Marriage makes it clear that any couple can have a successful, happy and holy marriage.

With a Christ-centered relationship, an other-centered attitude and an unwavering commitment to making it work, your marriage can flourish — just as God designed.

 

[Princess487]

this is interesting. lately i had been thinking about marriage a lot. in the russian culture, it is believed that if a woman/girl doesn't get married by the age of 25 she probably wont get married in her life. and the normal age to get married is 17, 18 for a girl. that's insane. that's YOUNG!!! Well see the thing is, most people aren't ready for it. ok, lets look at an example from my culture. the girl's 17, the guy's around 20, or 21...and the girl just finished highschool, doesn't have a good paying job, doesn't have a good career, sometimes she doesn't even know how to cook, do laundry, and doesn't know how to take care of kids. some people do know how to cook and clean and do laundry, but that's a few...and they think babies are really cute and like little dolls, they aren't ready physically, nor emotionally for them...ussually. so they view marriage as a whole romantic deal. ok, about the guy...he might have a degree of some sort, maybe..but not have a good paying job, or a stable career yet...so basically, they gotta buy the house and all and furniture and plus money for honey moon and other stuff... so they go into debt before they're married. so now they're in debt, and russians believe in being fruitful and multiplying...so they start having babies right away to have like fifteen or so but the age of 50. or less...so now they gotta pay for the house, get out of debt, feed themselves, now they got babies to pay for and take care of...so basically it's not a whole romantic deal that they thought it would be...they are face to face with a big surprise...

another thing with russians, traditionally they dont really know each other that well when they get married and most times, neither are at a very good spiritual state...so what happens is...they see each other once or twice, or maybe more than that, but never really knew each other. and as you already know, everyone's good in church. so they're strangers that get married. they have to get to know each other after marriage and they dont believe in divorse. so now they're stuck with each other and they're not in love as they thought they were. so sinse they're really not that spiritual either, they start having kids, family gets messed up and sometimes they all leave church and have problems.
I understand that if they both are very serious christians and serious spiritual people, things will be a lot easier. that way they could both pray together about problems and things will be easier even if they are strangers.
and there's another possibility when they do know each other and they are both spritual people. that's good. but then again, what i was born with, christian russians also dont believe in dating...so yea.. but that's good when they are best friends at marriage, have the finances to do it, even if young, and are very good spiritually. so that's very good...

well ok, personally i believe the person shouldn't worry about their partner. the Bible says, "seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and everything else will add up" so instead of worring about your physical life. worry about your spiritual life...i mean, dont worry but seek God. He will answer when time is ripe. people are extra worried these days. getting married and staying single both have their ups and downs. there are many good things about staying single, for instance, look at apostle paul, he could dedicate his life fully to Christ and yea...but if married, he's gotta focus on his family and all...so yea..
but basically, dont WORRY!!!! Seek God.. have fun

 

[abigya]

"We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession," Thomas explains.

-But if we marry for the glory of God,


waw, God bless you eclipse.............its really wonderfull
i am 27 years old girl, not yet married, i understood that i should glorify God when i got married.
hay you gave me a knew insight that we marry for the glory of God

and i believe your post helped us review our expectations and view of marriage,(Viewing Marriage Realistically )

wonderfull!

God bless you

 

[abigya]

this is interesting. lately i had been thinking about marriage a lot. in the russian culture, it is believed that if a woman/girl doesn't get married by the age of 25 she probably wont get married in her life. and the normal age to get married is 17, 18 for a girl. that's insane. that's YOUNG!!! Well see the thing is, most people aren't ready for it. ok, lets look at an example from my culture. the girl's 17, the guy's around 20, or 21...and the girl just finished highschool, doesn't have a good paying job, doesn't have a good career, sometimes she doesn't even know how to cook, do laundry, and doesn't know how to take care of kids. some people do know how to cook and clean and do laundry, but that's a few...and they think babies are really cute and like little dolls, they aren't ready physically, nor emotionally for them...ussually. so they view marriage as a whole romantic deal. ok, about the guy...he might have a degree of some sort, maybe..but not have a good paying job, or a stable career yet...so basically, they gotta buy the house and all and furniture and plus money for honey moon and other stuff... so they go into debt before they're married. so now they're in debt, and russians believe in being fruitful and multiplying...so they start having babies right away to have like fifteen or so but the age of 50. or less...so now they gotta pay for the house, get out of debt, feed themselves, now they got babies to pay for and take care of...so basically it's not a whole romantic deal that they thought it would be...they are face to face with a big surprise...

another thing with russians, traditionally they dont really know each other that well when they get married and most times, neither are at a very good spiritual state...so what happens is...they see each other once or twice, or maybe more than that, but never really knew each other. and as you already know, everyone's good in church. so they're strangers that get married. they have to get to know each other after marriage and they dont believe in divorse. so now they're stuck with each other and they're not in love as they thought they were. so sinse they're really not that spiritual either, they start having kids, family gets messed up and sometimes they all leave church and have problems.
I understand that if they both are very serious christians and serious spiritual people, things will be a lot easier. that way they could both pray together about problems and things will be easier even if they are strangers.
and there's another possibility when they do know each other and they are both spritual people. that's good. but then again, what i was born with, christian russians also dont believe in dating...so yea.. but that's good when they are best friends at marriage, have the finances to do it, even if young, and are very good spiritually. so that's very good...

well ok, personally i believe the person shouldn't worry about their partner. the Bible says, "seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and everything else will add up" so instead of worring about your physical life. worry about your spiritual life...i mean, dont worry but seek God. He will answer when time is ripe. people are extra worried these days. getting married and staying single both have their ups and downs. there are many good things about staying single, for instance, look at apostle paul, he could dedicate his life fully to Christ and yea...but if married, he's gotta focus on his family and all...so yea..
but basically, dont WORRY!!!! Seek God.. have fun

Dear princess
it is true, most of the time culture has been a big obstacle for us to understand Gods purpose in marriage,i find it the same in my culture too.

may God give us his grace to obey his will and refuse what our culture has been dictating us.
thank you for your replay,

any body who is interested to share his/her view would love to hear more!
blessings in christ

 

[jculver]

I'll give you 6 reasons!

Genisis 1:28 - Procreation (Kids, addidng Christian kids into the worlds population)

Song of solomon - Pleasure

1 Peter 3 - Provision. (The husband provides for the wife)

Genesis - Partnership

Ephesians 5 - Picutre (marriage is a picture of Gods relationship to the church)

1 Corinthians - Purity (keeps us from fornicating, using prostitues etc.)

(This was taken and adapted from a transcript of John Macarthur on "To Marry or not to Marry")

I think it is a pretty good list So many reasons. However, a single person can serve God very well if they have the gift for it.

 

[Chad]

article from gotquestions.org

Question: "What does the Bible say about marriage?"

Answer: The divine institution of marriage is recorded in Genesis. "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:23-24). God created man and then made woman out of "bone of his bone." The process as recorded tells us that God took one of Adam's "ribs" (Genesis 2:21-22). The Hebrew word literally means the side of a person.

Therefore, Eve was taken from the "side" of Adam and it is at his side that she belongs. "And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:20). The words "help and meet" are the same Hebrew word. The word is "ezer" and comes from a primitive root word that means to surround, to protect or aid, help, helper, succor.


Therefore, it means to help, assist or aid. Eve was created to be alongside of Adam as his "other half," to be his aid and his help. A man and woman when married become "one flesh." The New Testament adds a warning to this "oneness." "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6).

There are several epistles written by the Apostle Paul that speak to the issues that govern a Biblical view of marriage and how born again believers are to operate within their marriage relationships. We find one such passage in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and another in Ephesians 5:22-33. When studied together these two passages provide the believer with Biblical principles that can be used to form a framework for a God pleasing marriage relationship.

The passage found in Ephesians is especially profound in its scope in reference to a successful Biblical marriage. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Ephesians 5:22-23)" "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25)." So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (Ephesians 5:28-29). "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh" (Ephesians 5:31).

When these principles are chosen by a husband and wife in harmony with their relationship as born again believers, this brings about a Biblical marriage. This is not a lopsided relationship, but one that is in balance with the concept of Christ as the head of the man and the wife together. Therefore, the Biblical concept of marriage is a oneness between two individuals that is a picture of the oneness relationship of Christ with His church.

 

[abigya]

God bless you chad
i have also raed your post in bible answer "choosing a mate"

blessings

 

[stephen]

Prime Minister Tony Blair has lasted so long because he gives the people what they want.......Talking about marriage here, we have more none marrieds, single mothers and such than ever before in our history. The result of this is that the state-benefit system has been re-arranged by government to favour non-married couples, and single mothers.

If you are a young married couple with a child in the U.K. today, you will not be able to claim expenses for your child in many areas....pre-school education being a prime example.

All the expenses of a single mother are met by the state. Rents, rates, mortgages, travel, clothing......the list is endless. This is good and noble and I would be right behind it.....except that the girl lives with the father of her child. They remain unmarried........no wonder.

Mr Blairs goverment, is a governing down, lowering the standard of moral life. I do pray that we will get righteousness in the next government. Someone strong enough to life the standard.

Not an easy task.......but history records this is not new.......and God moved in. The Methodist Revival, the Wesley brothers, 150 years ago this year.

I see my local Methodist church are celebrating the event.

God Bless them