Women as breadwinners

[Fragrant Grace]

Is it right that married women with dependent children should be the sole breadwinner?

Should the husband be the breadwinner for the family?

Are there any scriptures that answer this?

 

[Peter]

Education, qualification, employment opportunities, financial obligations, raising pre-school children, are some of the things which will determine who will become the breadwinner. Meaning, the person who brings in the most energy (money) towards raising a family. Ego ought not to be the governing factor in a relationship, especially when children are involved. IMHO

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Thank you @Peter

I was really looking for some scriptural answers.

 

[Shutterbug]

The initial question of women does not specify marriage whereas the mention of a husband does. The first question could be understood in one of two scenarios: single mothers, or wives. Proverbs 31 only mentions a woman or wife who keeps herself busy, but not necessarily a wife who needs to work. Today's demographics aren't much different other than families have priced themselves into the trap of thinking more money means prosperity. It does mean having more to spend, but it also means having to earn more.

I can understand women with young children wanting to stay home, but someone who has free time could contribute, or at least do something productive. The afternoon soaps came about as a result of bored wives with little to do and the Entertainment industry stepped in to fill the void. Irresponsible leadership on the part of the husbands? Or, lazy wives? Or, both?

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Thank you @Shutterbug

I will reword that first question.

Thankyou for your reply and for referencing Proverbs 31

 

[Lanolin]

I thought BOTH mum and dad 'breadwin' i.e provide for their children. If the wife is widowed well yes it then does fall on her to be the sole provider BUT as we read in the Bible God can help with that, there is a story about the widow with the jars of oil, and how much faith she had in God to provide.

Proverbs 31 shows the wife looks after the needs of her household, her children and her maids.

Other proverbs all say that laziness is not a virtue.

So, not really sure what you are asking. I can't imagine a household that is functional if dad does all the work and mum sits around doing nothing, or mum does all the work and dad sits around doing nothing. There are times when maybe one is sick and cannot do any work at all, but that's why you work it out between you and look after each other.

 

[KingJ]

Is it right that married women with dependent children should be the sole breadwinner?

Should the husband be the breadwinner for the family?

Are there any scriptures that answer this?

1 Tim 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

We can't apply this verse to a female if there is a man in the house, as scripture is clear that the man is the ruler of the household.

However, Paul is crystal clear in 1 Cor 6 that we can judge matters. So our 'opinion' on a woman being the sole breadwinner in differing circumstance does carry weight. We should listen to the majority view of spirit filled believers.
In this instance I would say the consensus be clear that the husband should be looking for work, helping in other ways. Parents have joint responsibility.

 

[KingJ]

Just in response to the third option in the poll ''It doesn't matter in this modern society''. It actually does matter. If we say it doesn't, we are heading in a direction of rebellion to God.

It is quite a discussion but the argument goes along similar lines as the homosexual argument. Namely as Rom 1:26 says, ''even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones''.

Mothers should be able to stay at home with children. Or at least have a half day job. The only time she should feel forced to seek employment is if the husband does not bring in enough.

 

[Lanolin]

Staying home with children is actually work - housework. It's just not paid the same way as outside work is. Plus its a 24/7 job.

I would say mum stays at home and does NOT look after her own children then mum must be very rich and paying a nanny to look after them, or she's neglecting them.

If she's going out to work and the children are being left at home with nobody to look after them then call CYFs. If the husband is not providing enough well then yea there is a problem!

There are also women who aren't prudent with their household expenses but she would have chosen badly if her husband can't provide the basics. Which is why the whole Christian temperance movement came about, and women got the vote, because men who were meant to be good husbands were drinking and gambling away all their money and beating up their wives and children. So women were forced to work to make up for the shortfall...everything that was meant to be the children's bread was being spent on drink.

The shame!
But that's the crux of it. Men who cannot provide for their household are worse than infidels and should never be married because their wives and children will suffer. Also see Proverbs 19:14 - if you've inherited wealth, well that's a blessing but you cannot waste it just cos you may come from money.

 

[Lanolin]

Last century Women only really got the opportunity to go outside of the home to work because in world war 2 all the men were drafted into war and there were no workers. I don't know what the children did. I think back then child labour laws weren't in place.

Some workplaces specifically only wanted married women to work because they had families to provide for. Single women were not considered. Presumably the children were looked after by grandparents or aunties and uncles.

So..you can blame world war 2 for the current state of the economy, industrialisation and the reason why ALL women are just expected to work and earn now. In schools nobody ever teaches anyone on how to be a mum or dad.

Its got to be even if you are a solo mother and the dad has left for whatever reason, the govt won't provide a benefit for your child so you can eat. You have to go out and find work even if that means leaving your child at daycare.

 

[Hadsa]

Just in response to the third option in the poll ''It doesn't matter in this modern society''. It actually does matter. If we say it doesn't, we are heading in a direction of rebellion to God.

It is quite a discussion but the argument goes along similar lines as the homosexual argument. Namely as Rom 1:26 says, ''even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones''.

Mothers should be able to stay at home with children. Or at least have a half day job. The only time she should feel forced to seek employment is if the husband does not bring in enough.

My husband has been my sole provider ever since we met and with our children that has not changed. He is the type who believes a mother should be with her children and I agree. May God always keep us in His providence to live out His image of the family for as long as we both shall live. God Bless all and your families.

 

[Hadsa]

Is it right that married women with dependent children should be the sole breadwinner?

Should the husband be the breadwinner for the family?

Are there any scriptures that answer this?

Wives and Husbands
Ephesians 5:21-33

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.

28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. 30For we are members of His body.

31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 

[Wired 4 Fishen]

Wives and Husbands
Ephesians 5:21-33

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.

28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. 30For we are members of His body.

31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Scriptures are great and an explanation to what you are referring them too is even more great.
Blessings

 

[Furious_Love]

I have a saying, "A Happy Wife is a Happy life."

When my wife and I were young we both worked in our respective jobs with a hope of starting a family one day.
The day came when we were ready to start our family. When our first was born my wife stayed at home caring for him.
Not long after, we had our second child. We both decided in the children's forming years that my wife be at home
caring for our young ones. It was difficult at first as we were down to one income.

[Pro 31:26] “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
[Pro 31:27] "She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
[Pro 31:28] Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her."

I am aware of the teachings regarding women being at home.

We must remember that if a man cannot do his duties as a husband the woman will step up to the plate and take care of her family.
Whilst I was working as a male nurse I hurt my back pretty bad. I could not work due to bulging my discs in the lower spine.
I was very distressed knowing I could not bring in some wages due to my beliefs. The future seemed bleak. I had a nervous breakdown.

When I had my psychotic episode in the year 2000 I was incapable of working also; my highs and lows were cyclic. I was unwell.
In an idealistic world the woman could stay at home knowing her husband is providing for his family. Sadly enough times have changed.

If it was not for my wife i don't know where we would be.

 

[B-A-C]

To me, women's lib and feminism are straight from the devil.

1 Tim 2:13; For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.
1 Tim 2:14; And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
1 Tim 2:15; But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

God has a role for women, and a role for men.
Now maybe this started with the "curse" in the garden, but nontheless, this is what God said.

Gen 3:16; To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."
Gen 3:17; Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.
Gen 3:18; "Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field;
Gen 3:19; By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return."

It seems the primary role of women is to raise children. The primary role of men is "to til the ground" and bring home the bacon.
God made women with wombs and breasts, men don't have these things. It seems one of us is must better suited to raising children.

1 Tim 5:8; But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

I know these things are chauvinistic to say in today's society. I believe the common word today is "mysoginist".

That's not to say this is for every woman. Some women are biologically unable to have children. Some men are physically unable to work. Some men are looking for work and unable to find it.
But some men aren't looking very hard.

Many women I know today don't want children. Children are messy, time consuming, expensive, and "take away from my freedom". I believe it's this last one that's really the issue.
People have gotten selfish, it's all about me and what I want to do. I'll get a dog, or better yet a cat. They don't take up as much time, they're cheaper to take care of, and I don't have to change their diapers.
Pets are people children today. People donate more money to the humane society and SPCA than they do to orphanages.

Also this isn't to say a woman doesn't have her part, (people above have quoted Prov 31).
But I would go to the point of saying women who want to be combat soldiers and WWF fighters are no different than cross dressers and homosexuals.

Deut 22:5; "A woman shall not wear man's clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman's clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.

Men who "want" to stay home so their wives can work, are usually really just lazy.

 

[Brother-Paul]

There are some good answers here but, not all scripture based and that was what Fragrant Grace asked for.

May of the replies are based on what we do today, Scripture is for all generations, so what Scripture says is most important, if we go against Scripture we are not just denying God and His Eternal Word, we are working with the devil!

The answer lies firstly in Genesis, God created man, he then created woman from man, he created her to be man's helper. Certainly not as the world lives today. Man is to till the ground, go to work, bring home the food for the family, Eve his wife and their children as God said, go forth and multiply. This is why woman has the womb and facilities to feed the babies, if I may word it that way. It is clear she would have the children and feed them, so it is right to understand this ass the woman should stay sat home and look after the family and the home. The man is to work and bring home the food she will prepare, or as progressed the money to buy the food and pay the rent or mortgage. In God's eyes, nothing has changed in His will for them only the circumstances over time.

The centre theme of God's will is Love, Love of God, and love for the family, and our neighbours as ourselves.

Ephesians 5:17-28 (NKJV)
17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,
20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

Do not be unwise, but understand what the will of God is.
May the Lord Bless you Fragrant Grace for this is what you seek.

The man is the head of the family, wives should submit to their husbands, but husbands must respect their wives and love each other as Christ loves His Church, which if we are born again we are already part of. Praise the Lord \o/

I think this has been mentioned above

1 Timothy 2:13-15 (NKJV)
13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

B-A-C includes other verses above which are worth noting.

But, some will say, the rent or mortgage is so expensive, things cost so much we both have to work. Do we? Not according to God.
We have/want, nice homes, nice things, fridges, freezers, nice kitchen appliances, automatic washing machines and dish washer, satellite TV, mobile phones, most have nice holidays, cars and more. These are really luxuries, we want them, we may say we need them, we expect them, but are they worth a couple working, paying someone to bring up your children, when we stand outside the picture, when we see things as God sees them we have to, or should say no. Especially losing the early years in a child's life, the bonding period where LOVE is so important but is rationed for our worldly living today.

God says where our treasure is our heart is also. Is our heart right with God, are we trying to be right with God.
God's says if you are not for me you are against me.
Jesus says if God is not your father satin is"

Man is the provider, woman is the child bearer and holds together the family and the home (in Love)

Are there any exceptions, if there are they compromise what God has told us. But it was not God's intention for a member of the family to be disabled or ill and unable to work. In these cases if the man was disabled and unable to work should the woman work? In theory no, as the woman looks after the family. So in God's way what is acceptable in His eyes. Over and over again Jesus told us to look after the widow, look after those who cannot look after themselves. The Body of Christ is expected to help people in this situation, look after those in the community, those in the fold, but sadly the western world falls down big time here.

Not everything is black and white but there are far more colours than grey. God's Word is black and white and is Eternal, if we search scripture there will always be an answer to a situation in life. Thanks be to God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen

 

[Hekuran]

I can't think of any place in the Bible that prohits women from earning - regardless of whether there are children in the family. Certainly proverbs sees women being economically active as a good thing. Jesus was supported financially by women, and there's no indication that Paul disapproved of Lydia being in business.

A case for wisdom and judgement rather than applying a blanket rule?

 

[Brother-Paul]

I can't think of any place in the Bible that prohits women from earning - regardless of whether there are children in the family. Certainly proverbs sees women being economically active as a good thing. Jesus was supported financially by women, and there's no indication that Paul disapproved of Lydia being in business.

A case for wisdom and judgement rather than applying a blanket rule?

LYDIA
I am aware of Lydia, it is possibly a good scripture to quote for this topic, but to be fair we know little about her. We know she was a seller of purple this could have included cloth, dye or silk.

We also know that the Holy Spirit guided Paul to Thyatira and to come into contact with Lydia. We also know she was a good woman and worshipped God, but she did not know Jesus. The Holy Spirit guided Paul to her for her salvation, until that point she was a seller of purple cloth, and she was not saved.

Upon entering this strange city, the first on the continent of Europe visited by an apostle, Paul and his companions must have looked around them with great anxiety for some opportunity to open their message to the people. The prospects were sufficiently forbidding. They knew no one; and there was not even a Jewish synagogue into which they might enter with the hope of being invited to speak “a word of exhortation to the people.” By some means, however, they learned that on the bank of the river Gangas, which flowed by the city, some Jewish women were in the habit of congregating on the Sabbath-day, for prayer. The apostles directed their steps, guided by the Holy Spirit and determined that here should be the beginning of their labours in Philippi.

Acts 16:11-15 (NKJV)
11 Therefore, sailing from Troas, we ran a straight course to Samothrace, and the next day came to Neapolis,
12 and from there to Philippi, which is the foremost city of that part of Macedonia, a colony. And we were staying in that city for some days.
13 And on the Sabbath day we went out of the city to the riverside, where prayer was customarily made; and we sat down and spoke to the women who met there.
14 Now a certain woman named Lydia heard us. She was a seller of purple from the city of Thyatira, who worshiped God. The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul.
15 And when she and her household were baptized, she begged us, saying, "If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay." So she persuaded us.

Note the Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken of by Paul. The Holy Spirit was at work to bring Salvation to Lydia.

We know up to this point she was a seller of purple cloth, we do not know that she continued to do this after she had accepted the Lord and been baptized.

It is true there is no indication that Paul disapproved, but there is no indication he approved either, Paul was there bringing Jesus to those the Holy Spirit guided him to.
The context of this part of this Chapter in Acts, is Salvation and being set free, being part of the one true church and that God was in control.

Jesus was supported financially by women
Could you confirm the scripture verse or verses regarding Jesus being supported financially by women please. Scripture is clear Jesus was supported by women, which included a roof over his head, meals, etc. I am wondering if you are referring to Acts, when the Church was a community where everyone gave and everything given was shared to those in need (not like today). It is helpful to us all to share the verses relating to the items we mention, together we continue to learn God's will in every situation.

Peace be with you.

 

[Hekuran]

I had in mind Luke 8.1-3

Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, 2 as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, 3 and Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources.

Its true it doesn't say finance explicitly - as they left their homes to follow Jesus, it seems that 'own resources' most naturally means finance.

 

[Brother-Paul]

I had in mind Luke 8.1-3

Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, 2 as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, 3 and Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources.

Its true it doesn't say finance explicitly - as they left their homes to follow Jesus, it seems that 'own resources' most naturally means finance.

Thank you for confirming the verses, lets look at them a little closer.

Lets look at the KJV Bible translation, the word used here is substance.

Luke 8:1-3 (KJV)
1 And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him,
2 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,
3 And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance.

What is the meaning of this word, always bare in mind we are reading translations, some translations are more word for word where possible, others use words the the western world would more understand (translations for other countries do the same)

What is meant by they 'minister to Him of there substance?

The word used here is
Greek Strong's Number: 3776
Greek Word: οὐσία

Transliteration: ousia

Phonetic Pronunciationo-see'-ah

Usage Notes:

English Words used in KJV:

goods 1
substance 1
[Total Count: 2]

from the feminine of <G5607> (on); substance, i.e. property (possessions) :- goods, substance.

From Vine's Words we have:
Substance

Usage Number: 1

Strong's Number: <G3776>

Original Word: οὐσία, ousia

Usage Notes: derived from a present participial form of eimi, "to be," denotes "substance, property,"

MONEY is therefore not the substance meaning, although one could say they may have made a donation from their own resources. The actual word meaning, goods or property owned, which would be a gift.

They ministered to Him with their goods and property, which is more in the line of a roof over His head, food and drink.

The New Jerusalem Bible puts it this way...
Luke 8:3 (NJB)
3 Joanna the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, Susanna, and many others who provided for them out of their own resources.

Which also translated to the meaning of the Greek word used in this verse.