Welcome!

By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.

SignUp Now!
  • Welcome to Talk Jesus Christian Forums

    Celebrating 20 Years!

    A bible based, Jesus Christ centered community.

    Register Log In

wt: A Long Winter

CaptSF

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
6
Sorry this is so long but it has been a long season. I could really use any input (good or bad) that you have. The working title write now is "A Long Winter" but I could us some help with the name too.
Please don't be scared away by it's length. I hope you find encouragement. God bless you.
Love,
CaptSF


A Long Winter

There are Stars in your eyes
Piercing the frozen skies,
As we walk this hard winter's night.

We find ourselves trudging through snow
In woods, stiff and cold.
With other eyes glaring
Starless eyes glaring
Wicked eyes staring
As we walk this hard winter's night

In heavy boots we must press on
Though, the wind 's freezing hard on tear ridd'n cheeks
We must push through this devil's icy breath
That tears and burns at what it seeks,
It pains all the open skin,
Paining the bare open skin,
With all the sin
And lies of the devil's icy breath.

I hold back my tears while watching you shiver.
In hopes that my cheers might brighten your day.
How can I cheer you and bring you to smile?
When night 's flooding over and light's dam gives way.

Oh to build a fairy land
Where all my friends could go.
Floating 'long a silver stream
Singing songs that we know.
The children splash and wave to us
As they swim and scream.
While we sing of merriment
'Long the silver stream.
So far away from the woods
Where snow is cold and deep
Where demons go to hide themselves
Where their soulless eyes creep
Cackling laughter from the deep
The devil's breath of the deep

Oh to build a fairy land
Where demons cannot walk.
Their feet begin to boil,
Their hands begin to rot,
They screech and scream, seized with pain
Soon as they touch the air.
They're far away from the stream.
We cannot hear them there.

Oh to build a fairy land
Where fruit is crisp and sweet,
And you can snuggle with animals
On the soft green grass
When you're full and want to sleep.
The warm breeze whispers across your face.
It's more a blanket then a wind,
And your dreams are a fantasy of beauty and wonder
Beyond the fairy world your in...

I'm sorry...
I can't build this land.
In truth I can barely stand.
The best I can do is hold your hand
and pray,
And watch the stars in your eyes.

The wind bites hard until you cry
Making the stars rain snowflakes from a cloudless sky,
But Daddy said to just keep walking.

Heavy snow flakes are falling down
I feel each one touch the ground,
But trudging through I hear the sound
Of Daddy saying, just keep walking.

He loves us, and He's walked this path before.
He's saying, trust Me and just keep walking.

We're doing ok. Let's just keep walking.
Your doing ok. Just keep walking.

It's hard to go and not despair.
But He rapped us up tight for this cold, dry air,
With the warmth of the rising Sun
To show us His care,
As we walk this hard winters night.

There are stars in your eyes,
Resting on the cheeks of sunrise,
And the Morning Star will bring the warmth of spring.

This night the Sun rises again,
And we fall in love with the Sun again.
And as we feel the Sun rise,
I look into your eyes
And see the stars brighter then before,
And the moons and celestial forms of more.
Transfixed on this light the world then dies.
The world chalked with devils and lies.
Let it die!
Let it fall!
Let days and nights turn
Let war destroy all.
Ravage creation
Let the earth churn
Praise the Light
And let It burn.

I feel Love's elation from the Stars in my stomach
My heart breaks with joy pierced by Stars in your eyes.
The mind embraces the paradox of Stars dust
And my body is burned bright in winter's frozen skies.
Consumed by the Fire
Made one with the Stars
We are warriors looking down
Empowered greater then mars

All those still in earth
Look into the Light
Grab hold of the Sun
And let Love...
Let Life take flight.
For the Son is the Morning Star.
And the Morning Star will bring the warmth of spring.

The night is still freezing,
The war rages on,
And all of man's dreams
Will one day be gone.
But in the cold air I walk by your side
We trudge through the snow and on thin ice we glide.

When the devil breathes it's still cold and harsh.
But when he breathes the stars grow brighter.
When the devil breathes it's still cold and harsh.
But when he breathes the Son's embrace grows tighter.

IT IS FINISHED! is the cry that is heard through the night
And in the morning the Son rises bright.

I walk toward home
And wait for the Son to come down...
and I watch them,
The Stars in your eyes.
I take you by the shoulder and look there.

There are Stars in your eyes
Resting on the cheeks of Sonrise
And the Morning Star will bring the warmth of spring.
And the Morning Star...

I love You. I love you.
Amen.
 
WOw, this is a brilliant piece of poetry, its amazing how you have managed to fit so much emotion and depth. You shouldnt habve to appolagise for it length, but i do agree that you may have to change its name, to something iether more defined or with more emphasis like ( here is my daft example, am not good at coming up with names)

The endless winter

Or somethin that symbolises hybernation?

Any way hope this helps

god bless
 
Back
Top