You want to know my story?Does not end well lol.

[diamarie]

I'll tell you..If you want to know..You can turn back anytime yeah????

I was born into a family of hindus...We were not very strong in our faith,that is,we didn't fast for everything there was...That's pretty much how my life proceeded...Because that's as far as the religion whatever went...I had tough times...I mean,the other kids left me out of everything and stuff,and I kept to myself..Even as a child,I had on this face,that was always happy *and I continue it now* and never ever showed signs of sadness...

I started highschool in 2001.I was 11...Once again,my friends were minimal..And I hated it...I went to the school's ISCF (Inter School/Varsity Christian Fellowship) welcome for the new kids...And I just stuck with it...I mean,I was not really into it till like form 3(2003).But even then..I wasn't really into it as much as everyone else...

I wasn't that happy...Around 2002,my dad became ill...Terminally ill..The time that followed up till this april,was spent going to and fro nursing homes and crap.I hated that too.About that time,I slipped into depression...But see,I kept up that happy face...It's how it remained..I started cutting and stuff..In 2003-2004 I got closer to being saved.I met these two people,one of whom I've lost contact that I tell everything...

The other,she's been there for me,since my dad died(before that,she couldn't pronounce my name)and I'm glad we're friends..But I'm not close to being saved...Not yet...

 

[Newlife4ever]

Diamarie,
My heart goes out to you child for your loved ones that you have lost. I pray that you can find happiness and truth in the loving arms of Christ. Pray for him to come into your life and give yourself fully to his care . i know your life will change for the better ................Mine surely did.

Love your brother in Christ,
Robert=Newlife4ever

 

[anne]

Dear diamarie,
Don't hurt yourself, dear child, when you are hurting. Take a diary and write it all out to Jesus...your tears, your frustrations, and ask Him to help you. In my life, He did. He will for you, too. Surely! After all He's the one who said, "Let the children come to me..."

 

[sunshine307]

diamarie, you need to ask Christ to forgive your sins, and accept him as your Saviour. As you do He will fill a gap in your life, and He will help you through your problems if you bring them to Him. There are lots of us here who can testify of what God can do. Jesus Christ is the only answer, He will always be there for you and has promised never to leave us nor forsake us. Then you will have a happy ending, unlike what the title of this thread says.

 

[diamarie]

Yes i know the testimonies..I've known them for 4 years...This is something personal..And I've figured that you don't think that I know that..That i need to ask Him..But I did...And I don't feel different.I did so last year...I don't have that sort of comfort that you have...

 

[Gwen05]

Hey Diamarie,
your last post...I can so relate. I prayed the prayer etc. when I was younger too, and as you say, nothing happened. I'd spend times pretending I was feeling God and hearing His voice and all, but when push came to shove there was nothing. A couple questions for you to answere ONLY if you feel okay with it. Did you ask Him to get approval from others or something? The reason I ask this is that I thought I did when I was younger and that was maybe the reason nothing happened.

Why do you think nothing has happened? I know I've struggled with thinking for some reason God didn't love me or something...this summer it seems like I've made a step towards conquering the wall but I'm sometimes not sure if again I'm jsut pretending.

My prayers are with you and if you want, feel free to personal message me. I KNOW your struggle with the lack of anything comming of asking Him into your life. I so wish I had the answer but I don't...still searching myself. Stick with it friend, life is much better than death. Honest!!! Please hang onto the rope of hope, the sun will rise again tomorrow

 

[diamarie]

I used to hear His voice..But not anymore...It's complicated...
I asked Him because I thought I was ready..Obviously I wasn't.
I struggle with not thinking God loves me even now...That my very existence was not of Him...

 

[Gwen05]

Hey Diamarie,
if you want, please personal message me...I might not have any for sure answers but my heart goes out to you. You are saying the same things I've been saying for years...but it does seem like there is a light at the end of the tunnel now. Anyway if yo uwant, I think it might help us both if we could talk together about it. Think about it and let me know...my prayers are with you friend,
Gwendolyn

 

[Jesus's always]

Hi Diamarie,
I have struggled with family problems too when I was 15. I am 17 now and I felt exactly like you then. I also did exactly like you. I told noone how I felt. I just kept a diary and kept "the happy face" for the world and tried to find out what was wrong with me. I prayed too but I didn't ask God to show me his way(I actually didn't want his way then) I prayed that he makes everything better, undo the things in my life, make the complicated simple... And I hated it when people told me that God intends everything for the better b/c I couldn't see past what was happening. I just wanted everything to be ok, I wanted to be a normal kid, not a christian but normal. I never tought that I would hear my self say this but I am GLAD that I had the problems that I had and I am GLAD that my family is the way it is. I know now all that was to find my life and I did. May be I wouldn't have if that didn't happen. The result outweighs everything else and it was Jesus. Now, I completly dropped the case and moved on. I thought that if I "got saved" it would make my life more complicated than it already was but can u believe this- my life had never been simpler, just simple and one more thing, if you are not ready now, when will you be ready? There will always be problem in your life- even more complicated problems and you would never be ready... Don't waste your life, don't put God on hold. YOu have to decide... I don't know you atall but I know you are ready now and I hope you know it too.
The best thing about my life is knowing God in my youth and if I had to know him b/c of the the problems I encountered, then I wouldn't want it any other way!