Your Child's Identity

[rizen1]

Neil Anderson

YOUR CHILD'S IDENTITY

References:--Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord

It's all too easy for children to find their identity wrapped up in external values like performance and appearance. Why? Largely because those are the values their parents and teachers glorify and reinforce. Children are applauded if they're cute, if they say funny things, or if they hit home runs. Thanks to the adults in their lives, it doesn't take long for children to internalize and begin to live by three pervasive principles.

If I am physically attractive and others admire me, I will be special. If I perform well and accomplish great things, I will be accepted. If I obtain social status and others recognize me, I will be significant.
But what about the child who isn't very cute or entertaining? What about the child who never wins a starring rule in the school play or strikes out most of the time? Tragically, children like these are often compared, rejected, or ignored by the adults in their lives. They begin to question their identity and doubt their worth. Satan takes advantage of the false values our society promotes.

Children may struggle with identity and self-acceptance because their parents struggle with the same issues. Children who grow up with false principles for identity and acceptance don't automatically grow out of them when they reach adulthood. As adults they continue to base their identity on these external guidelines and tend to perpetuate them in their children. If you are going to help your child realize his identity and acceptance in Christ, you must lead the way by doing so in your own life.

Prayer:

Lord, give me wisdom to teach my children and grandchildren what it means to be a child of God and to be in Christ. Forgive me for the times I have promoted false values before them.

 

[Ann]

I also want to add that children learn by example and not by being told something.

Parents will tell their children not to do something or behave in a certain manner but will do the same thing that they don't want their children to do. Then they get upset and angry at them and punish them or reject them.

We don't always realise the influence we have on who our children will become, and when it is too late and they go astray, we will often wonder what went wrong ("because we did not teach them to do what they did?").

We must indeed be very carefull with our children and raise them in the way God wants us to.

Thanks for the post, I hope all parents will learn from it.

 

[By His Grace]

I totally agree with you Anne, children learn by example especially from their parents and people around them. If you want your child to grow and walk in the fear of God then introduce him/her to the word as early as possible. Same to how we talk and relate in our families, they tend to follow how we speak or shout to each other.

I believe children are precious gifts from God thus, should be natured and encouraged in the things of God and for them that are slow in catching things or they feel unwanted, Love, Patience and Prayers are the keys.

I do work with teenegers and majority had a bad background of rejection and low self esteem from thier parents thus, changed them completely and messed thier lives. Love and Acceptance in childhood period is very vital, i believe most of the problems with teens resulted unto this and can be avoided if parents want to.