Got baptized at a Pentecostal church and immediately was ordered to talk in tongues! I couldn’t!
Count yourself fortunate -
And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
- Acts 2:4 KJV
Most all Pentecostals / Charismatics seem unable to read this simple truth - that the SPIRIT is to give you utterance. You don't. But that doesn't mean the experience isn't real. It is. But finding someone who both walks in power and understands the operations of this baptism is extremely rare. The drive within a human "to belong" is so overwhelming as to make so many, many people fool themselves into believing all kinds of doctrines - no matter the denomination.
I guess I wondered about being a reprobate because I’ve never experienced His touch during my life.
Then I'm sorry to say that it probably hasn't happened, because once it does, you'll KNOW. Yet even then the spirit of doubt will continue to attack you. That's why we are to encourage one another.
In Scripture the blind man states God does not listen to the prayers of the non righteous.
Why would I believe a blind man?
The prayers that God hears
are those of the non-righteous who repent.
Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
- Luke 18:10-14 KJV
Faith in Jesus means to believe what Jesus said, none other. God certainly heard the prayer of the non-righteous publican.
I live alone, have one phone friend who is genuine, and even though I quit smoking 3 weeks ago I know Im dying from emphysema.
I am sorry to hear that. And I am sorry that the lack of faith here on the Earth means that there may be no one around to lay hands on you and heal you. But I have seen mighty divine healings of many ailments and diseases, and have been blessed on more than one occasion with being healed of fatal medical conditions, the most recent being in 2021. And I have also been blessed to be the instrument of such healing for others (as the Spirit has led), including a fellow through whom my touch raised him from the dead.
The problem is that there is so much NOISE from the loudmouth opinionators who are so proud to be called pastors and wish to judge others, that the still small voice of the truth of God is overwhelmingly drowned out.
And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.
- Luke 17:5 KJV
I've only met one so called "faith healer" who traveled the church circuit of what is known as "Word of Faith" churches. And I've only ever attended one of his meetings - where my Father-in-Law (who was not a Christian) on his own initiative went up front in simple faith and was cured of colon cancer (we hadn't even known he was diagnosed) - and where in the exact same meeting I took my brother-in-law upfront where he was cured of diabetes. As to the rest of those who "went front" I couldn't say. But we made my Father-in-law get a second opinion, and I had the wonderful experience of listening to the heads of GI Surgery from two local hospitals screaming at each other over the phone:
"He has cancer and needs surgery (bowel resection)."
"NO he doesn't."
"I have pictures."
"SO DO I."
Since there was no way to tell these doctors that both were right, I just sat there smiling like an idiot.
But I know that
YOU need this reality in your life. That's why I said seek, and keep on seeking until you drop dead. You can't give up. Ever.
I am a fool no doubt and have learned to selfishly love myself above God and also despise myself living with the guilt afterward.
No doubt we are all fools at some point, but why would you be a fool to love yourself if God ALSO loves you? Would that mean God is a fool?
And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
- Mark 12:29-31 KJV
If you do not love yourself, then how could you love your neighbor? The "trick" is to do both. And this can be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. (Keep seeking.)
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint {don't give up}; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
- Luke 18:1-8 KJV
Again, I am sorry that there seems to be no faith on the earth where you reside, though there be ten thousand churches.
I expect no answers to my present non spiritual existence.
And when Jesus departed thence, two blind men followed him, crying, and saying, Thou Son of David, have mercy on us. And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him: and Jesus saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto him, Yea, Lord. Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it unto you.
- Matthew 9:27-29 KJV
Not many people know that "faith"
means "expectation." When I say "Have Faith," I truly mean "Have Expectation." In August of 2021 I had about six weeks to live. So God and I had a "Come to Jesus" meeting, and I told Him off. Three days later I was healed.
You may not expect answers. But I do. And not only expect, but demand.
Few will shed tears when I die. I am a poor nobody. I deserve hell even though it scares me thinking about it.
God will. And He considers no man a poor nobody (that would be a respecter of persons, cf Act 10:34). Nor does anyone deserve hell. The idiots hawk John 3:16 when the next verse is truly more important.
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
- John 3:17 KJV
For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.
- Luke 19:10 KJV
I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness. And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
- John 12:46-47 KJV
Can you let yourself be saved? (There's nothing wrong with that.) And if so, I will ask my Father to save you, and there would then be nothing you could do to stop that.
I hope not.
Rhema
Peace.
