I've just been completely lost with the Lord, I've chased Him only to be empty. I went back into the world. Crawled back to God to repent with severe depression. Asked Him repeatedly into my life BEGGING to no avail asking His forgiveness. Again a total emptiness. Grieving...
If you’re lost, you need to be saved.
If you’re saved, you need to stop the “to and fro,” get your focus off yourself and on to Him. Grab the “to” and stop the “fro.” “To and fro” is double mindedness and instability and this is the advice James had about that in the opening of his letter to the twelve tribes:
1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting.
2My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3Knowing
this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4But let patience have
her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
5If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all
men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
8A double minded man
is unstable in all his ways.
Is it easier said than done? Yes.
Is it a struggle that seems to have no end? Sure, at times.
I was diagnosed with chronic major depression thirty years ago now, at age 17. The Lord saved me when I was 29 and I was in my mid-30s before I started to get victory over it. Up until a year ago I still had semi-regular setbacks and I still wouldn’t consider myself to be out of the woods.
The devil loves to keep our focus anywhere but on the Lord. If he can get us to focus on ourselves, we can't focus on Him because we can only think about one thing at a time.
So we need to resist the devil and follow hard after God. Focus on Him. Submit to Him.
James 4:
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
One way to do that is to praise the Lord and count your blessings, as the hymn writer wrote. And keep at it.
(Suggestion: a good place to start is to wander over to the Devotions forum and post in @Fragrant Grace’s thread “Let’s share a testimony of praise and thanks daily.”)