Please, I SOOO need some help...

[lawrenceb]

Thank you all for your responses. I read them a couple times a day. They help me to gain strength and perspective.
I'm not mad at her and I pray for her to be healed, for her to find God's plan for her and for us to be reconciled. I also pray for God's healing and peace. I just cant grasp this. I cant even begin to accept it...Im trying to but I just cant. Where is He? Why wont He intervene? I know His ways arent mine, but He controls everything, He has to see me and know how much this hurts. After 2 divorces (both not my idea) and now this, I cant take anymore! I look to Him, I sit in silence in His presence and I hear nothing. I thought I heard Him say "wait...september" once but maybe it was my imagination. I dont know....I think Im dying. Please Jesus, I know you're coming soon, your signs are all around, please come now...RIGHT NOW! You're the only one that can save me, the only one I have. Dont lesve me here!!!!! Why cant I feel Him. Why cant I hear? Where are you???? She was honest and wholesome. She searched for God and He took care of her. What about me????

I noticed your thread back at the top of the list again, so this time I thought I'd take a look at it.

I am a male. I have some experience with your situation. My past 30-year history involves living a life of fornication and adultery, recreational drug use, and sanctioned ("legal") theft. I have left many a trail of angry husbands and boyfriends behind me.

I was heartbroken over a woman who said she was "separated" from her husband, even as I was with other women while she also was with other men. Satan's spirit of fear came on me and tried to get me to kill myself. I screamed out for Jesus and he appeared to me. God pulled me out of that hole in November 1996, and I have NEVER been the same since.

What is interesting here is that the Lord did not intervene until I was at a point where I was truly receptive to him i.e. I was at the end of myself and cried out to him.

Where is He? Why wont He intervene?

God is a gentleman. He will not arbitrarily over-ride your free-will choice(s). The accuser of the brethren (Satan) is at the Father's side right now, accusing you day and night (Rev. 12:10 KJB). Here is their hypothetical conversation:

Satan: Did you see what RelyingOnHim just did?
God: Yes, I did.
Satan: Well, that was not Godly!
God: No, it wasn't.
Satan: Then I have a right to send one of my boys on him, don't I?
God: Yes, you do...

And so, you get one or more devils assigned to you to set up one or more strongholds in your life. You see, Satan's operational framework is a legal one. It is actually clearly defined. He cannot muck with you unless you give him the legal permission he requires to do so.

This is spiritual warfare.

He has to see me and know how much this hurts.

He does see you.

After 2 divorces (both not my idea) and now this, I cant take anymore!

Good! because this is where you need to be - leaving self behind and truly trusting that he is able and willing to give you life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10 KJB), that you present your [body] a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1 JKB).

I look to Him, I sit in silence in His presence and I hear nothing. I thought I heard Him say "wait...september" once but maybe it was my imagination. I dont know....I think Im dying....

Dont lesve me here!!!!! Why cant I feel Him. Why cant I hear? Where are you????...What about me????

How do you overcome Satan?

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. (Rev. 12:10-11 KJB).

The next time you enter your "prayer closet," remember that through Christ, the victory is aleady ours. Don't let the enemy snatch defeat from the jaws of victory! When you pray, tell the King of kings that you admit you are a sinner, that you repent for mucking up your relationships (e.g. "former" wives) that were to be for God's glory and not your own. Plead the blood of the Lamb (this means accepting and believing that the sacrificial death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the price paid in full for your sins) and ask the Lord to restore the territory you have ignorantly given to the enemy. Ask God to show you what you need to do to rid your life of demonic strongholds, and then to give you the courage to do as he tells you. And tell him that you forgive your wife/wives for any and all perceived wrongs they may have subjected you to.

Let's close some of those doors to the enemy!

This is spiritual warfare.

This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. (1 John 1:6-10 KJB).