Still praying for you dear sister
There is a thread on healing which you may find helpful.
http://www.talkjesus.com/scriptural-answers/199-healing.html
This is part of a thread for new believers.
. Pray everyday. Prayer is the ability to communicate on a personal level with the Creator of the Universe. What an amazing privilege and opportunity! God will hear the prayers of anyone who calls on Him in sincerity and truth. However, once we believe in Jesus, we are given special access to God the Father, Himself, through the blood and Name of Jesus. This is a restoration of all that man lost as a result of sin. Our sins have separated us from Him–but in Christ not only is there forgiveness, but there is also restoration. In Him we are a new creation.
When Jesus cried out from the cross, "It is finished!" the veil in the Temple that separated the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place (where the Presence of God dwelled) was supernaturally ripped from the top to the bottom by God Himself! Now, through Christ, we have the awesome privilege of coming before God Himself. We no longer have to go to Him through a priest–now we can go to Him ourselves through the priestly ministry of Jesus Christ! We no longer need to shrink back from God in our sins–we can be cleansed through Christ and come before Him with a clean conscience and confidence. Now, we no longer need to cry that God does not speak to us–instead, we can speak with Him and tune our ears expectantly to hear from Him.
How should we pray? Just speak to God from your heart. He already knows your needs and worries and thoughts, but when we speak them to Him, we are inviting Him to come into the midst of them and bring us the answers that we need. We should daily ask God for His guidance and wisdom and the power to lead the overcoming Christian life. Confess your sins to Him quickly, and never fail to give Him thanks for all of His blessings to you.
Reading the Psalms and other recorded prayers in the Bible is a good way to learn how to pray. David and the other psalmists were very honest before the Lord in their prayers, but through their prayers they always found fresh hope and encouragement in the Lord. These prayers were recorded in the Bible to speak to us today.
Prayer is a conversation. On earth, we never speak continually to someone who never talks back. So it is with God. When we pray, we can expect to hear back from Him. The main way that we can learn to hear the voice of God, is by knowing Him! And the best way to know Him is by studying His Word–the Bible.
4. Read your Bible every day. As we stated above, the best way to begin to know God is to read about Him. Find out what He likes and what He doesn’t like. Find out how He speaks and discover the desires in His heart. All of this is recorded in the Bible.
If you are new to the Bible, we recommend that you begin in the New Testament. You should read at least one of the four Gospels first, either Matthew, Mark, Luke, and/or John. Then begin to read other books in the New Testament. You can read them in order if you would like, but it is not necessary. As you read, ask God to make His word alive and real to you. Ask Him to speak to you through His Word. Tell Him you want to know Jesus, and ask for the spirit of revelation to rest upon you as you read. You can also ask God for a hunger to read His Word, if you are having problems getting in to it. Then, as the Holy Spirit directs you, begin to read the Old Testament.
Some of the books that are good to begin with in the Old Testament, are Genesis and Exodus (two great history books), Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes. Of course, the Lord will show you where is best for you to begin. These are just some suggestions of some of the books that were easiest for us to read and absorb at first. A Study Bible with notes is a very valuable tool when you are first beginning to read the Bible.
Don’t worry if you do not understand everything you read at first. Ask the Lord to teach you by His Spirit, for that is the only way that we can understand the Bible. Spirit speaks to spirit. The Holy Spirit will illuminate those things that you need most to hear from Him at this time. If you get confused, don’t give up. Find a good Bible study with other Christians and continue to seek the Lord for understanding. He will be faithful to feed you those words of life that will wash you and strengthen you and encourage you.
5. Ask for the Holy Spirit Baptism. Another important "key" in our walk with God, is receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit. This experience is one that should immediately follow conversion experience and baptism in water.
"John answered, saying unto them all, I indeed baptize you with water; but one mightier than I cometh, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to unloose: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire" (Luke 3:16)
"And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me. For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence. But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth" Acts 1:4-5,8.
"While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God. Then answered Peter, Can any man forbid water, that these should not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we?" (Acts 10:44-47).
Have you received this gift with evidence of speaking in other tongues? If you haven't, ask God to baptize you in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues and other spiritual gifts to follow (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). These spiritual gifts are supernatural and are given to empower us as believers, and to minister to the world. When you speak in tongues, you are praying over the most important things that need prayer in your life. It is a powerful and important link in your relationship with God. It will empower you to lead an overcoming Christian life. You can receive this gift straight from the Lord, or you can receive it through the laying on of hands from another Christian who speaks in tongues.
6. Further Encouragement
God loves you dearly and has plans to use you for His glory. He wants to use you to be a light to this dark world. Most of all though, He wants you as His dear friend. He died for you, to restore you back to relationship with the Father. Restored relationship with God is WHY Jesus died on the cross. An intimate and faithful relationship with our Lord is the goal of the Christian life–and all ministry should flow from this place. As we keep our love for the Lord first in our heart, He will also fill us with love for others.
Please know that you will face discouragement in your Christian walk from time to time. Sometimes God will seem distant and confusing. Other Christians may let you down, and you may be persecuted. You may be tempted to return to the life that you left behind. These are normal tribulations that all Christians experience. Don’t be discouraged or give up--just keep moving forward, closer to God. Trust Him to carry you when you are weak, and be honest with Him in your prayers. He knows your heart anyway. You can’t keep secrets from Him so it is better to be very open with Him. This will be a strength to your relationship with Him.
When we battle discouragement, it is also important to remember that we need to resist Satan, who comes to accuse us! As we begin to draw closer to God, we enter into a realm of spiritual warfare against the evil god of this world. He will try to whisper lies of condemnation in your ear. He will do everything he can to keep you from reading and believing the Bible. How can we tell the difference between the voice of God and the voice of the Accuser? God’s voice will come to correct us, but there will be love and hope in His voice. When the Devil comes to accuse us, his words only bring despair and loss of hope. Our God is a loving Father, who corrects us because of His great love. The enemy only wants to make us give up and feel that we are past the point of God’s grace. He comes to alienate us from God. But the good news is, he is powerless against the power of God. If you discern that the voice that you have been hearing is not from the Lord, tell that voice to leave in the name of Jesus! Ask God to help you hear His voice and to respond to Him and obey Him.
"Submit yourselves therefore, to God. RESIST the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7).
No matter what may come your way, we can promise you that if you continue to walk with the Lord all the days of your life, you will never regret it! He is the most priceless treasure in the entire universe--the glory of a million suns cannot hold a candle to His brilliance. He is everything you have ever wanted, and more. He is the Lover of your soul–the only One who loves and understands you perfectly. He cares about your destiny more than anyone else in the world. And He is completely trustworthy!
It is with great joy and delight that we welcome you to the Family of God! By the power of the Holy Spirit, we bless you in your new life and we declare victory over you. May the will of God prosper in your life and may you find your deepest delights in Him all the days of your life.
Truly, He is all in all! In closing, we join with the prayer of the Apostle Paul for you:
"Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for Christians everywhere, I have never stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people. I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else in this world or in the world to come. And God has put all things under the authority of Christ, and he gave him this authority for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is filled by Christ, who fills everything everywhere with his presence. (Ephesians 1:15-23 NLT).
http://www.talkjesus.com/scriptural-answers/144-new-believers-instructions-encouragement.html
I think you are trying too hard and looking for signs and wonders and God is greater than signs and wonders. He loves everybody. Just enjoy the little things He gives and it is by faith that we believe. The sun is like God's love as it is warm. I was told that once. Feel the warmth of the sun that is how God loves you.
Keep reading the gospel of John and one day something will jump off the page as you read it. You will read something that will speak directly to you. Just don't try too hard. It will just happen.
Thank God for the sun the birds you hear the flowers etc. He created all for us to enjoy.
God bless
Love in Christ
:rainbow: :rose:
