twctp111 , I will let you into a little secret!!! YOU!!!! Are not alone in this!!!( Matt 26:56) I do not know a single believer who has not done the same at one time or another,I sure did!!! For 8 very painful years!! That is the thing,once you find out how terrible a life is without Jesus in it,you will never stray again!! I think another part of straying away,is that after Jesus comes into ones life,all of the bills,etc... still remain,and when you are a baby in the Lord one has to learn, and grow in the measure of faith all are given.( Rom 12:3) We stay thankful!!!!( 1 Thess 5:18) AND!!! we learn never to judge another again!! ( Rom 2:1-5)