verbally abusive older parents
- Thread starter Denise61
- Start date
Brad Huber
Loyal
Do you live with your parents?
Denise61
Member
Twistie
Loyal
Lord says to Honor them regardless how they are..
Me i had to set boundaries with my mom also i moved states away..
In order for me to honor them i cant be too close as in distance with them my mom mainly shes very high strung can he verbally nasty at times i must keep my cool.. actually since i moved states away this time our relationship as a mother and daughter has grown ive set my boundaries if she is too mean when she calls i tell her ma i cant do this right now im not in the right state of mind..i had to do that often at first but now it is a rare occasion..
Set boundaries and do your best to honor them.. that means doing what you need to do in order to deal with the situation.. personally i had to ask the Lord how to forgive my family
Me i had to set boundaries with my mom also i moved states away..
In order for me to honor them i cant be too close as in distance with them my mom mainly shes very high strung can he verbally nasty at times i must keep my cool.. actually since i moved states away this time our relationship as a mother and daughter has grown ive set my boundaries if she is too mean when she calls i tell her ma i cant do this right now im not in the right state of mind..i had to do that often at first but now it is a rare occasion..
Set boundaries and do your best to honor them.. that means doing what you need to do in order to deal with the situation.. personally i had to ask the Lord how to forgive my family
Greetings,
I think, too, that it depends a bit on how much we truly want to love. Does our flesh get in the way?
While we were yet sinners....
Who gave Himself for who...
and why?
Of grace we have received
Let us not deny the power thereof
If we are dead in our sins, it matters nothing.
If we are alive in Christ, it costs us nothing.
Bless you ....><>
I think, too, that it depends a bit on how much we truly want to love. Does our flesh get in the way?
While we were yet sinners....
Who gave Himself for who...
and why?
Of grace we have received
Let us not deny the power thereof
If we are dead in our sins, it matters nothing.
If we are alive in Christ, it costs us nothing.
Bless you ....><>
Hannah1
Active
Kindness, respectful, not give bad back, but don`t give them anything they can use against you and limit your contact to what you can handle. Change subject, walk up, leave, go to the bathroom, say something short and change subject if they persist say you do not want to discuss those things. etc. You can tell them that was not nice, and then same apply. Do not fuel it. try to get their minds on to something positive. And yes show love.
KingJ
Loyal
Respecting and honouring your parents is something you do out of obedience to God.
It is a virtue that can influence your parents and potentially lead them closer to the Lord. Our conduct can be a testimony to others and can point them toward Christ.
Direct verse:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother...” — Ephesians 6:1–2
An example where conduct can lead to conversion:
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” — 1 Peter 3:1
Hannah1
Active
If one have not went through severe childhood abuse, to the point of trying to take their lives, if one cannot relate to that, they really cannot say much. Because they will only have a limited capacity of understanding. Some people may have the grace to still have contact while others don`t, to protect their sanity, to avoid being re traumatised.
I for mine, yes they did try to kill me, strangle me to the few inches point as a child, it was on a hanging hair, combined with years and years of abuse, I do not feel bitterness or any negative feelings. It is God`s grace. I`m able to still show being nice and all that contains. But not all are like that. For some it is too much. too much trauma.
I for mine, yes they did try to kill me, strangle me to the few inches point as a child, it was on a hanging hair, combined with years and years of abuse, I do not feel bitterness or any negative feelings. It is God`s grace. I`m able to still show being nice and all that contains. But not all are like that. For some it is too much. too much trauma.
KingJ
Loyal
I’m sorry for what you went through, but suffering is not a prerequisite for understanding, obeying, or applying Scripture. Personal experience may affect how someone relates to an issue, but Scripture remains the authority, not our personal experiences.
Hannah1
Active
You fail to understand the reality of what trauma does to people, some people cannot have contact even because they get retraumatised, especially when the abusers have not changed but carry on the abuse
Hannah1
Active
God does NOT require people to keep being abused. He does not even require it in a marriage. Many people, not me but many, that have experienced abuse keep cracking when they are exposed to more of the same, or have to relate to the perpetrator. In those circumstances the most loving for everyone is low to little contact.
KingJ
Loyal
No, you fail to understand the point I made.
You cannot establish a precedent that someone must personally endure abuse before they can apply the applicable Scripture.
KingJ
Loyal
There you go making up your own gospel. You know better than God because you were abused.
Amazing discernment.
Hannah1
Active
If ones life, mental health, physical health would be destroyed on an ongoing basis, one has to remove themselves. One can pray for and honour them from afar. For example if one has been r-d and the abuser is still present and you are still at risk.. or if someone keeps abusing you and you already have cracked mental health because of it.. God does not require you to be around people that do not change. You can still forgive them from afar. same with parents if they are too toxic. It is either you go down with the ship, or you value your life and rescue what is left. In those situations you are not required to endure more abuse. That goes for marriages too by the way
KingJ
Loyal
Hanna, Scripture is very clear on the grounds for divorce. You and I both need to be terrified of adding to or taking away from Scripture.
When God inspired Scripture, He took all matters into account.
What we must not do is allow our opinions or personal experiences to override what Scripture clearly states.
Hannah1
Active
God doesn`t want anyone to get abused for years to the point of danger to health, it is better to separate.
Hannah1
Active
I was thinking of how we are NOT required to stay in abusive relationships including contact with family IF they are a DANGER to our HEALTH and our health would suffocate and we deteriorate. God does not want anyone to keep on being abused. You can still honour your parents, but by doing what is necessary to protect yourself, for some, it is low contact, for others, none, for some superficial contact. It depends, but God does not want anyone to put their lives at risk. There is a misconception that you can not do low contact or none or superficial in the name of honour. But, that is not what it means. Noone gets honoured by enduring detrimental abuse. And you are enabling abuse. A church pastor if right would rebuke such person. And not allow it to continue, because when you abuse someone, you are NOT obeying Christ.
you are consequently breaking God`s law.
Think about that.
I fell over an article in regards to abuse in the home, www.medium.com/@lydiajayokay/why-fundamentalism-breeds-abusive-relationships-59daa2567d43
In these circumstances, one is not obeying Christ and breaking God`s law. As such, one is allowed to SEPARATE
you are consequently breaking God`s law.
Think about that.
I fell over an article in regards to abuse in the home, www.medium.com/@lydiajayokay/why-fundamentalism-breeds-abusive-relationships-59daa2567d43
In these circumstances, one is not obeying Christ and breaking God`s law. As such, one is allowed to SEPARATE