Technology and the church

[PloughBoy]

No it's not ironic. It's a very, very difficult situation for many, especially those that have poor mental health. God said, 'it is not good for man to be alone'

I think someway you completely mis understood what i was saying. so i will not address that one again. peace.

 

[Trevor]

My wife and myself are in the high risk situation, my wife because she is on a cancer drug for her rheumatoid and osteo arthritis, her blood is monitored monthly, for many reasons one is her disease activity is high, she can catch things easier and cannot take other drugs without first consulting a doctor. Ion the other hand are at risk because I have an allergy to drugs, we do not know which until I have to take them, then it is try and see, I also cannot have anaesthetic, so I have to be very careful. That said I feel we are blessed, we are lucky, we have a bungalow which is ideal for my disability but also have a nice rear garden and sun lounge.

Many people do not have that, those who live in flats were stuck behind four walls during the lock down, not able to go out or sit in a garden, not allowed to a park etc, They were cooped up in a flat, ground floor, first or second floor, or far higher, they were day in day out behind the walls of their flats.

Then we have the disabled, terminally ill, the lonely, and mental health people, stuck behind four walls, and with no visitors.

Life is not meant to be easy, those who preach become a Christian and life is a bed of roses need to re-read their Bibles. The world is full of people hurting, people struggling, people less fortunate. Thank you Brother Hekuran for your words of wisdom

Shalom

Hi Paul, When I first came to Christ my life was a tragedy My marriage was on the rocks, I had addictions and I had never been so miserable in my life. I even screamed at God to take my life. Over the years I have changed I am being healed of the things that caused me pain and my life is now a life of joy. Am I supposed to feel guilty of the joy I now experience. Life is as it is. I could, if I wished centre in on all the negatives in my life, such as the fact that I can't walk more than a few yards before I have to rest and regain my breath or moan about having to take a pharmacy every day. But I am nearly eighty, for goodness sake and I've lived more years than my brother, my father and my mother. I thank God daily for my life, I have a wife that loves me and let's me know it daily, I have children that love me and also loves the Lord because we brought them up to know the truth of the gospel. My wife, when she was a child had a recurring day dream that she would marry a singer, have several children, three or four girls and a boy and live in the country. It must have been from the Lord because it all came true. Is she meant to feel guilty that her dream came true. It could well be, that tomorrow has other things in store for us, that will cause us pain, if that happens, as one who has experienced pain in the past, I will accept it and still praise the Lord, because he is the best friend I have ever had. I am truly sorry that you and your dear wife are suffering, you're in our prayers. But God can change that in an instant and you don't know that he won't. I just pray he keeps you in the positive mindset that you have when you debate on this site. bless you.

 

[PloughBoy]

I thank God for this "Technology and all of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus our Lord" "The Invisible Church" The Body of Christ. That will never die.

 

[Ivan Chamurliev]

I believe that technology as being something evil and something that the devil uses against us, it can be also used with a good purpose. I actually think that primary it was made for evil, but then God turned it in a good opportunity to spread His word and so from evil it can also turn in something good.
I also think that is better for believers when they are "physically" together, but as we have technology with us, why don't we use for good? I guess as well that depends on who is using it and we all need is to put God first in whatever we do.

 

[PloughBoy]

I believe that technology as being something evil and something that the devil uses against us, it can be also used with a good purpose. I actually think that primary it was made for evil, but then God turned it in a good opportunity to spread His word and so from evil it can also turn in something good.
I also think that is better for believers when they are "physically" together, but as we have technology with us, why don't we use for good? I guess as well that depends on who is using it and we all need is to put God first in whatever we do.

So, what about the "Power of the "Pen and Paper"? and the Invention of "The Gutenberg" what class would you list those devices in, "good or evil"?

PS I'm glad to know that "GOD has after thoughts"
"that primary it was made for evil, but then God turned it in a good opportunity to spread His word and so from evil it can also turn in something good." "The creator of all things that exists".

 

[Ivan Chamurliev]

So, what about the "Power of the "Pen and Paper"? and the Invention of "The Gutenberg" what class would you list those devices in, "good or evil"?

I believe that anything can be used as something evil and "almost" anything as something good. It depends on our intention and the heart we've got. A lot can be said on this topic, but then we go off the topic of this thread and I also don't know that much about it, but I believe it has to do with 1 Corinthians 10:23,24 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 and another verse in Romans 14:23. Obvious these verses speak figuratively and we apply their main meaning about the faith and the glory of God on the present situation.

 

[PloughBoy]

I believe that anything can be used as something evil and "almost" anything as something good. It depends on our intention and the heart we've got. A lot can be said on this topic, but then we go off the topic of this thread and I also don't know that much about it, but I believe it has to do with 1 Corinthians 10:23,24 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 and another verse in Romans 14:23. Obvious these verses speak figuratively and we apply their main meaning about the faith and the glory of God on the present situation.

Topic says clearly with no Reference of "Holy Scripture" so i guess fair game. and I agree with you on this: "I believe that anything can be used as something evil and "almost" anything as something good. It depends on our intention and the heart we've got. A lot can be said on this topic"
That can included our "Bodies"

 

[Ivan Chamurliev]

Yes, you are right.

 

[Trevor]

So, what about the "Power of the "Pen and Paper"? and the Invention of "The Gutenberg" what class would you list those devices in, "good or evil"?

PS I'm glad to know that "GOD has after thoughts"
"that primary it was made for evil, but then God turned it in a good opportunity to spread His word and so from evil it can also turn in something good." "The creator of all things that exists".

Do you really believe that God has after thoughts, don't you believe that he knew about computers before the world was made? If he didn't he is not Omni present

 

[Brother-Paul]

I thank God for this "Technology and all of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus our Lord" "The Invisible Church" The Body of Christ. That will never die.

PTL brother

Absulutley spot on. They can knock or burn down people's treasured churches, the ekklesia remains, Christ will reign my friend.

To God be the Glory for His unfailing wisdom.

Again we say PTL

 

[Brother-Paul]

I believe that technology as being something evil and something that the devil uses against us, it can be also used with a good purpose. I actually think that primary it was made for evil, but then God turned it in a good opportunity to spread His word and so from evil it can also turn in something good.
I also think that is better for believers when they are "physically" together, but as we have technology with us, why don't we use for good? I guess as well that depends on who is using it and we all need is to put God first in whatever we do.

Greetings brother

John 1:3 (NKJV)
All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

Proverbs 16:4 (KJV)
The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.

God did not create evil, everything God made he said was good. But let us not forget God can also use evil and turn it back to good.

God has given humans the ability to use their minds and be creative, to bring Glory to Him through Jesus, technology was initially designed to be used for good, the warped, twisted minds used it for evil. God first, evil followed, from the Garden of Eden to this day it is the same. The devil turns good things into sinful things.

That way round makes more sense to me brother.

Shalom

 

[PloughBoy]

Do you really believe that God has after thoughts, don't you believe that he knew about computers before the world was made? If he didn't he is not Omni present

You know better than that. I'm a "Augustinian". I am guilty of being sarcastic there. forgive me, and this is where I stand:

" From all eternity and by the completely wise and holy purpose of his Own Will, God has freely and unchangeably Ordained Whatever Happens." God's will IS DONE on earth just like it is DONE in Heaven and IN Eternity. So no matter what happens it is The will of GOD. That is going to be hard one for many.

 

[Nicola Jane]

I believe that anything can be used as something evil and "almost" anything as something good. It depends on our intention and the heart we've got. A lot can be said on this topic, but then we go off the topic of this thread and I also don't know that much about it, but I believe it has to do with 1 Corinthians 10:23,24 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 and another verse in Romans 14:23. Obvious these verses speak figuratively and we apply their main meaning about the faith and the glory of God on the present situation.

fantastic scriptures x

 

[PloughBoy]

In the gathering of the "institutional church" the custom is you cannot tell the "Truth" a lot. you are obligated to tell a lot of lies! But in the "body of Christ" the invisible church. You want the truth no matter how hard it hurts and mostly about yourself and you want it , straight from God through Jesus Christ and not a man or woman as a go between! You want the unadulterated "WORD of GOD"!

 

[Nicola Jane]

I think someway you completely mis understood what i was saying. so i will not address that one again. peace.

well all ill say is the truth, this is what came to my heart and how your words spoke to me. no offence at all meant just how i read it x

 

[Trevor]

You know better than that. I'm a "Augustinian". I am guilty of being sarcastic there. forgive me, and this is where I stand:

" From all eternity and by the completely wise and holy purpose of his Own Will, God has freely and unchangeably Ordained Whatever Happens." God's will IS DONE on earth just like it is DONE in Heaven and IN Eternity. So no matter what happens it is The will of GOD. That is going to be hard one for many.

Your forgiven

 

[Brother-Paul]

Hi Paul, When I first came to Christ my life was a tragedy My marriage was on the rocks, I had addictions and I had never been so miserable in my life. I even screamed at God to take my life. Over the years I have changed I am being healed of the things that caused me pain and my life is now a life of joy. Am I supposed to feel guilty of the joy I now experience. Life is as it is. I could, if I wished centre in on all the negatives in my life, such as the fact that I can't walk more than a few yards before I have to rest and regain my breath or moan about having to take a pharmacy every day. But I am nearly eighty, for goodness sake and I've lived more years than my brother, my father and my mother. I thank God daily for my life, I have a wife that loves me and let's me know it daily, I have children that love me and also loves the Lord because we brought them up to know the truth of the gospel. My wife, when she was a child had a recurring day dream that she would marry a singer, have several children, three or four girls and a boy and live in the country. It must have been from the Lord because it all came true. Is she meant to feel guilty that her dream came true. It could well be, that tomorrow has other things in store for us, that will cause us pain, if that happens, as one who has experienced pain in the past, I will accept it and still praise the Lord, because he is the best friend I have ever had. I am truly sorry that you and your dear wife are suffering, you're in our prayers. But God can change that in an instant and you don't know that he won't. I just pray he keeps you in the positive mindset that you have when you debate on this site. bless you.

Hi Trevor,

Thanks for sharing those things my friend, the past leaves it marks and we have to move on, without Christ we think we can do anything. My mother walked out before I was three, I never saw my dad much until after I was eight. In those five years I was brought up by a nanny, she was a witch, everything she did was controlled, wicked and evil, it was many many, years before I realised the bogey men were not coming to get me. She would shout and hit a leather belt against the side of the stairs, followed by shouts and threats. I dare not get out of bed for the toilet most times, in those days there were no carpets but definitely squeaky floor boards, when I did get up a scream would come from downstairs, why are you out of bed, get back in bed, etc.

I was a scared kid at that age, I had illness after illness, I was later told it was do to the situation, one of the illnesses was measles, this left me totally deaf in one ear and partially in the other. I was the only kid with one of them old hearing aids so naturally was picked on. Between eight and ten and a half my dad came home, but he worked shifts and went dancing or drinking at the weekend. He brought a couple of women round to the house but nothing came of it and I didn't really think much of it. After school was get your tea and go to bed, I hated that room, I would lay awake for hours, I dare not go to bed until I knew everyone was in bed.

Then at ten and a half, kids count the fractions of a year, he brought another woman home, I hated her from the start, she was just twenty one, just ten and a half years difference. She was wearing a silly berry on her silly head. Yep, they married. Then they moved house to the county, a small two bedroom bungalow, yet there was the two of them, gran and grandad and myself and younger brother, we had to sleep in the loft, it was not boards, except the floor, the spars and roofing felt were our ceiling. With so many in the bungalow it became a mad house, dad telling us what to do when he came home, his woman telling us what to do, grandparents telling us what to do, I had had enough and rebelled. It got to no one was telling me what to do, so seeing how his woman was using the situation against the grandparents, my brother and myself started setting one again another also. It was the devil's playground. Eventually they kicked the grandparents out, but it was not going to get better far from it.

A new vicar came to the village, Mr Niceguy, we were made to go to church to learn out to be good. Log and eye comes to mind. Anyway we went with two pence for the collection, some of our mates went but they always had a shilling (old money 12p), so further embarrassment added to the strain. Mr niceguy invited us to the vicarage, cakes and sweets, cut my lawn he gave money, chop some firewood he gave us some money. Join the choir enticed further into hit net. Then the sexual abuse started. I ran for a period then I broke away, what I found hard was the other three lads thought is was funny, I was rigid in fear. I was questioned why I was not playing with the lads, I never replied, fear again. Eventually I went back, surly he wouldn't try it again, not at first he didn't then it happened again and again. I broke away a second time, I was a bit of a loner, deafness didn't help, my brother and myself wasn't close so that left me. But I would see the lads in the village square, not really a square but it seemed to have that name. The lads were eating sweets and cakes, they had money, I had none. So it is no surprise when I look back how I ended up going back to the vicarage again, surely it won't happen again, but it did!

In the village in those days the county council cut the grass at the side of the road and left it in piles to collect another time. What happened next started as fun, we had seen a film, a guy rolling in fire to put it out, so my brother and myself walking up the windy country road would set fire to these piles and roll on us, taking turns to let it get so far, or a bit further then roll on it to put it out. We came to the vicarage orchard grass bank, one of us set fire to the hay, it was my brothers turn to roll in the blazing grass, but I held him back, we were fighting, I always won, but there was more to this, I wouldn't let him roll in the burning grass and the flames got higher and higher, the grass was so dry. I wanted to let it blaze because I hated the vicar for what he did, but as the flames got high we ran, over an edge and along the hedge rows, over the hill, down the other side and onto the marshes. When we eventually got home we were asked where we had been, we said on the marshes, later I heard our dad say the vicarage hedge and orchard had gone up in flames, I looked at my brother with keep it shut look, he looked at me. Then I heard our dad say, I guess someone threw a cigarette out of a car window. No one(on earth) knew but us, yet my brother didn't knew the hate I had and that I wanted it to go up in flames.

Around fifteen then, I broke away, doing my own thing when ever I wanted, no one was going to tell me what to do. I rebelled against what had happened, turning to girls, and not long after to drink. You will be home by 10pm or you will be locked out I was told, really, I rolled home around 11pm, the door was locked, the lights were out. I used to knock about on the building site, Pete the bricklayer was a mate, I went to his bungalow, told him I was locked out and he and his wife put me up. Two days later the police were out, they had reported me missing, after that I got a key! I am not proud of any of this, though I am skimming the surface here to what I am leading to. Meanwhile a hate was building up inside, I hated the vicar, I hated what he stood for, that hate grew, I hated God, though I never believed there was a God, when hate takes hold it is like a knife penetrating full length then being twisted, I was screwed up.

Eventually a met a lass, it suited me, sex when ever I wanted it, we went out for eighteen month then got married, but for a time I thought it was a way out, a way forward, but it wasn't. Twelve month after being married, may be less, I was pulling the women again, only now they were easy due to a change in job.

During this period of wild oats, lust coveting and more I met my current wife. She was the first person in my life to love me, I was attracted immediately, she was to me also, it was more sex than anything else then, but there was this incredible love, I had never experienced ever before. We moved in to a flat together, I went through hell and rightfully so looking back, I was a heartless pig. I was screwed for maintenance and on things went. But there was this growing hate inside that had to be dealt with, but it wasn't dealt with it harboured within and grew. I couldn't cope, I never opened up about anything, I left my second wife and was out all night, she had the police out looking for me, when I went back she left me, to go to her mum and dad's. It took time but we got back together again, the two of us and our daughter.

I had changed jobs again and starting from the bottom I moved five places to shift supervisor in about 21 months, I had about 38 people under me and was on good money. So for a while the hate was smouldering, not getting worse but not gone out or gone away. After seven years I came out of that job and started a business from scratch, this built up quickly and grew considerably, I was now working 80-90 hours a week as well as four/five working for me, I even did work for my doctor and surgery, bank etc. My doctor would say Paul you will make a million by the age of forty or die. Money was my God!

Now during these times there were Jesus people, God squad people who would try to introduce me to Jesus, idiots I thought, introduce me to someone who died 1980 years ago, they are off their trolley. Did I give them time to speak, No! They were shot down before they could say two words. My wife would say, if Paul hates someone they may as well be dead. In many ways that was a good picture, my dad worked for me for a few years and I even sacked him. No one would ever get close enough to hurt me, it is a defence we build into ourselves due to what we have experienced over the years.

But, things were about to change in a way I would never think of, another seven years had gone, the pattern of my working period between jobs. The business was doing really well, was my doctor right in what he said. But then I made a mistake, I took on two extra units to expand the business, I invested a lot of money into machinery, having just done this, certainly within months, the landlord upped my rent by fifty percent. I never saw it coming, I didn't have a written agreement, he knew I was a successful business and saw a way to screw me. But the old Paul was still in me, I was still the same person, I heard the landlord was going abroad on holiday for 4-5 weeks, so I wrote a notice to quite within 4 weeks, sealed and private and confidential, so he found know till he got back off his holiday. I thought I would get other places and just move stock and machines, it didn't happen, there wasn't any options. I let stock go for next to nothing and brand new machines for a third of what I paid for them. God was taking control, I didn't know it, I couldn't see, it if I had I would have laughed it off.

I shut the business down, we had lost seven years savings in 3-4 months! For a money person that hurt. What were we going to do now, we hadn't a clue. We didn't go bankrupt, we paid everyone our debt but lost everything else. We put the house up for sale but the recession was on and the area hit hard, we sold up and after paying everyone didn't have a five figure sum to our name. The house sold eventually after reducing the price many times, where were we going to live? What are we going to do? One of the guys that worked for me up to this point told us of a place south of the country, beautiful place he would say, we had never been there, we knew nothing about the place, we went and had a look, we liked it. After returning we wanted to go again, could I get a job there? So I applied to two local authorities, the first I didn't get an interview. The second I did, they asked me to survey a property and give a report two hours later, I did this and had the report in my hand, it seemed promising, but then a lady came out to say the job had been withdrawn they were to review how they restructure. My heart fell, we retuned home again. Then the third I had applied for sent a letter I had been shortlisted, so we drove down again, had the interview and I got the job.

What a change this was to be, we made an offer on a house, it was accepted, the sale was going through but I had to start the new job before we had the house. There was no option, live in the trailer tent till the house is ours. We did large TV, ironing board and you name it we lived in a trailer tent. But then we were gazumped, it was unreal, how can this be, what will we do, how long will we live in the trailer tent, it was a hot sunny summer. Eventually the people decided to stop with our offer and came back to us, the sale went though and we moved in.

God had planned this, I would never believe it, why did we have to go through so much, to break me I guess, to bring me to my knees, but I didn't go to my knees not yet anyway. The new job, 38 hours a week, weekends off, flexi time, good holidays, was a massive adjustment, but it was to give me time to stop, to think, and that is exactly what happened. Eighteen months later I gave my life to God, accepted Jesus, repented every sin ever and cried like a baby at the least thing for months afterwards.

Amazing we say, but God had not finished, my wife and kids set against me, threatening to leave me because I had changed so much, I was not the man my wife married she would say. The light was to bright and the next three and a half years was hell, only this time I had help, God was there for me, my faith was so strong, I couldn't let it affect my marriage, my faith was strong, the total reverse for a stubborn soul of the past.

I think this is probably a good place to stop, some know what happened after but no one knows all the things that happen, some amazing things for sure.

Sorry for waffling along brother

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings dear brothers and sisters

Technology is a blessing and a great resource.
But in these last dark days evil will take over more and more of our sin burdened world.

In reading the later posts by Trevor and Brother-Paul......isn't it beautiful how the Lord can bring broken frail lives to salvation, all is perfectly fulfilled by Him.

There was going to be more written but my thoughts kept drifting to this beautiful old hymn


Only a few more years,
Only a few more cares,
Only a few more smiles and tears,
Only a few more prayers;

Only a few more wrongs,
Only a few more sighs,
Only a few more earthly songs,
Only a few goodbyes;

Then an eternal stay,
Then an eternal throng,
Then an eternal, glorious day,
Then an eternal song*



*PP Bliss 19th century hymn

 

[Trevor]

Hi Trevor,

Thanks for sharing those things my friend, the past leaves it marks and we have to move on, without Christ we think we can do anything. My mother walked out before I was three, I never saw my dad much until after I was eight. In those five years I was brought up by a nanny, she was a witch, everything she did was controlled, wicked and evil, it was many many, years before I realised the bogey men were not coming to get me. She would shout and hit a leather belt against the side of the stairs, followed by shouts and threats. I dare not get out of bed for the toilet most times, in those days there were no carpets but definitely squeaky floor boards, when I did get up a scream would come from downstairs, why are you out of bed, get back in bed, etc.

I was a scared kid at that age, I had illness after illness, I was later told it was do to the situation, one of the illnesses was measles, this left me totally deaf in one ear and partially in the other. I was the only kid with one of them old hearing aids so naturally was picked on. Between eight and ten and a half my dad came home, but he worked shifts and went dancing or drinking at the weekend. He brought a couple of women round to the house but nothing came of it and I didn't really think much of it. After school was get your tea and go to bed, I hated that room, I would lay awake for hours, I dare not go to bed until I knew everyone was in bed.

Then at ten and a half, kids count the fractions of a year, he brought another woman home, I hated her from the start, she was just twenty one, just ten and a half years difference. She was wearing a silly berry on her silly head. Yep, they married. Then they moved house to the county, a small two bedroom bungalow, yet there was the two of them, gran and grandad and myself and younger brother, we had to sleep in the loft, it was not boards, except the floor, the spars and roofing felt were our ceiling. With so many in the bungalow it became a mad house, dad telling us what to do when he came home, his woman telling us what to do, grandparents telling us what to do, I had had enough and rebelled. It got to no one was telling me what to do, so seeing how his woman was using the situation against the grandparents, my brother and myself started setting one again another also. It was the devil's playground. Eventually they kicked the grandparents out, but it was not going to get better far from it.

A new vicar came to the village, Mr Niceguy, we were made to go to church to learn out to be good. Log and eye comes to mind. Anyway we went with two pence for the collection, some of our mates went but they always had a shilling (old money 12p), so further embarrassment added to the strain. Mr niceguy invited us to the vicarage, cakes and sweets, cut my lawn he gave money, chop some firewood he gave us some money. Join the choir enticed further into hit net. Then the sexual abuse started. I ran for a period then I broke away, what I found hard was the other three lads thought is was funny, I was rigid in fear. I was questioned why I was not playing with the lads, I never replied, fear again. Eventually I went back, surly he wouldn't try it again, not at first he didn't then it happened again and again. I broke away a second time, I was a bit of a loner, deafness didn't help, my brother and myself wasn't close so that left me. But I would see the lads in the village square, not really a square but it seemed to have that name. The lads were eating sweets and cakes, they had money, I had none. So it is no surprise when I look back how I ended up going back to the vicarage again, surely it won't happen again, but it did!

In the village in those days the county council cut the grass at the side of the road and left it in piles to collect another time. What happened next started as fun, we had seen a film, a guy rolling in fire to put it out, so my brother and myself walking up the windy country road would set fire to these piles and roll on us, taking turns to let it get so far, or a bit further then roll on it to put it out. We came to the vicarage orchard grass bank, one of us set fire to the hay, it was my brothers turn to roll in the blazing grass, but I held him back, we were fighting, I always won, but there was more to this, I wouldn't let him roll in the burning grass and the flames got higher and higher, the grass was so dry. I wanted to let it blaze because I hated the vicar for what he did, but as the flames got high we ran, over an edge and along the hedge rows, over the hill, down the other side and onto the marshes. When we eventually got home we were asked where we had been, we said on the marshes, later I heard our dad say the vicarage hedge and orchard had gone up in flames, I looked at my brother with keep it shut look, he looked at me. Then I heard our dad say, I guess someone threw a cigarette out of a car window. No one(on earth) knew but us, yet my brother didn't knew the hate I had and that I wanted it to go up in flames.

Around fifteen then, I broke away, doing my own thing when ever I wanted, no one was going to tell me what to do. I rebelled against what had happened, turning to girls, and not long after to drink. You will be home by 10pm or you will be locked out I was told, really, I rolled home around 11pm, the door was locked, the lights were out. I used to knock about on the building site, Pete the bricklayer was a mate, I went to his bungalow, told him I was locked out and he and his wife put me up. Two days later the police were out, they had reported me missing, after that I got a key! I am not proud of any of this, though I am skimming the surface here to what I am leading to. Meanwhile a hate was building up inside, I hated the vicar, I hated what he stood for, that hate grew, I hated God, though I never believed there was a God, when hate takes hold it is like a knife penetrating full length then being twisted, I was screwed up.

Eventually a met a lass, it suited me, sex when ever I wanted it, we went out for eighteen month then got married, but for a time I thought it was a way out, a way forward, but it wasn't. Twelve month after being married, may be less, I was pulling the women again, only now they were easy due to a change in job.

During this period of wild oats, lust coveting and more I met my current wife. She was the first person in my life to love me, I was attracted immediately, she was to me also, it was more sex than anything else then, but there was this incredible love, I had never experienced ever before. We moved in to a flat together, I went through hell and rightfully so looking back, I was a heartless pig. I was screwed for maintenance and on things went. But there was this growing hate inside that had to be dealt with, but it wasn't dealt with it harboured within and grew. I couldn't cope, I never opened up about anything, I left my second wife and was out all night, she had the police out looking for me, when I went back she left me, to go to her mum and dad's. It took time but we got back together again, the two of us and our daughter.

I had changed jobs again and starting from the bottom I moved five places to shift supervisor in about 21 months, I had about 38 people under me and was on good money. So for a while the hate was smouldering, not getting worse but not gone out or gone away. After seven years I came out of that job and started a business from scratch, this built up quickly and grew considerably, I was now working 80-90 hours a week as well as four/five working for me, I even did work for my doctor and surgery, bank etc. My doctor would say Paul you will make a million by the age of forty or die. Money was my God!

Now during these times there were Jesus people, God squad people who would try to introduce me to Jesus, idiots I thought, introduce me to someone who died 1980 years ago, they are off their trolley. Did I give them time to speak, No! They were shot down before they could say two words. My wife would say, if Paul hates someone they may as well be dead. In many ways that was a good picture, my dad worked for me for a few years and I even sacked him. No one would ever get close enough to hurt me, it is a defence we build into ourselves due to what we have experienced over the years.

But, things were about to change in a way I would never think of, another seven years had gone, the pattern of my working period between jobs. The business was doing really well, was my doctor right in what he said. But then I made a mistake, I took on two extra units to expand the business, I invested a lot of money into machinery, having just done this, certainly within months, the landlord upped my rent by fifty percent. I never saw it coming, I didn't have a written agreement, he knew I was a successful business and saw a way to screw me. But the old Paul was still in me, I was still the same person, I heard the landlord was going abroad on holiday for 4-5 weeks, so I wrote a notice to quite within 4 weeks, sealed and private and confidential, so he found know till he got back off his holiday. I thought I would get other places and just move stock and machines, it didn't happen, there wasn't any options. I let stock go for next to nothing and brand new machines for a third of what I paid for them. God was taking control, I didn't know it, I couldn't see, it if I had I would have laughed it off.

I shut the business down, we had lost seven years savings in 3-4 months! For a money person that hurt. What were we going to do now, we hadn't a clue. We didn't go bankrupt, we paid everyone our debt but lost everything else. We put the house up for sale but the recession was on and the area hit hard, we sold up and after paying everyone didn't have a five figure sum to our name. The house sold eventually after reducing the price many times, where were we going to live? What are we going to do? One of the guys that worked for me up to this point told us of a place south of the country, beautiful place he would say, we had never been there, we knew nothing about the place, we went and had a look, we liked it. After returning we wanted to go again, could I get a job there? So I applied to two local authorities, the first I didn't get an interview. The second I did, they asked me to survey a property and give a report two hours later, I did this and had the report in my hand, it seemed promising, but then a lady came out to say the job had been withdrawn they were to review how they restructure. My heart fell, we retuned home again. Then the third I had applied for sent a letter I had been shortlisted, so we drove down again, had the interview and I got the job.

What a change this was to be, we made an offer on a house, it was accepted, the sale was going through but I had to start the new job before we had the house. There was no option, live in the trailer tent till the house is ours. We did large TV, ironing board and you name it we lived in a trailer tent. But then we were gazumped, it was unreal, how can this be, what will we do, how long will we live in the trailer tent, it was a hot sunny summer. Eventually the people decided to stop with our offer and came back to us, the sale went though and we moved in.

God had planned this, I would never believe it, why did we have to go through so much, to break me I guess, to bring me to my knees, but I didn't go to my knees not yet anyway. The new job, 38 hours a week, weekends off, flexi time, good holidays, was a massive adjustment, but it was to give me time to stop, to think, and that is exactly what happened. Eighteen months later I gave my life to God, accepted Jesus, repented every sin ever and cried like a baby at the least thing for months afterwards.

Amazing we say, but God had not finished, my wife and kids set against me, threatening to leave me because I had changed so much, I was not the man my wife married she would say. The light was to bright and the next three and a half years was hell, only this time I had help, God was there for me, my faith was so strong, I couldn't let it affect my marriage, my faith was strong, the total reverse for a stubborn soul of the past.

I think this is probably a good place to stop, some know what happened after but no one knows all the things that happen, some amazing things for sure.

Sorry for waffling along brother

Sounds like you had a journey bro. but it's made you who you are, makes you valuable when you meet someone in pain, because they know you understand. It's God's training for many a Christian. Bless you.

 

[PloughBoy]

I remember when i change too, what my wife said to me "you are not the man i married' because i change. i became better man, i thought. "then she told a marriage counselor "i was to smart. I just came out from the world, had no demands on her. I just told her, "to hold on to my coat tail and I would carry us both". Everyone thought i was a mean man at church. But i wasn't, i just was bold. i clean the house, cooked, iron kids clothes, volunteered in their school, a good job, went back to college. Everything i did she fought me on it. Maybe it was after salvation i confess to unfaithfulness. She never knew I had done such a thing. And she hated me for it. I told her how it had broken me. Now before that we were not getting on well, Plans before we got married, and goals I thought we agreed upon, but she had other plans with my money. She was not unfaithful, in the end i was. I became cold, she did not., meaning she walked out once and left me with the kids, And I change the Locks. And when she wanted to come back home. I would not let her. It hurt her bad, Later I heard her cry out: "these people have made me loose my husband: i didn't know then, it was the women at church that told her to treat me in such a negative matter. My conscious trouble me a many nights hearing her cries. There were many of lies told on me, during that era. The courts gave me custody of my little girl and boy, The courts and church was not in favor of me. I never said nothing against her. i kept my mouth shut. And when The courts final assessments, and asking her questions and not me.

They ask her who cooked most of the meals. she replied Her husband did.

They ask her who took them to the doctor mostly: she replied her husband.

They ask her who went to parents and teachers meetings, she replied her husband

They ask her who clean their rooms and wash their clothes, she replied her husband

Then they ask her who did they call out in the middle of the night. she replied her husband

Then she looked at me from across the court officers table, and cried out, that i had took her children: and leap across the table and started beating me across the face and head. The lady court officer started screaming, and i just sit there and let her beat me. County Sheriff's pile in the room. to get her off me. The court officers ask me how i could just sit there and take that kind of beating, bleeding. They held her, and took me and my two children out the court back door. then they let her go. i never told anyone except my parents. Most of my friends and the church never knew what happen but i was label a mean man who did not like women
i finish college at night with the kids in the back class room. She was never unfaithful, but i was not the man she married. People used to talk about how pretty she was. When she got mad at me , she would beat me. I didn't care 'I was "Full Contact Karate, Judo, & Jujitsu" Martial Artist." not sports "Self-denfense".

I cried a many of nights laying beside her, and ask her why, and she would say; "i don't know why". She would dream of me kissing another women, and knock me beside the head in the middle of the night.. "I finally understood the problem after a few years had pass what the problem was" So do not even try to Speculate.

I have been a lot of places between "there & then". I understand she still keeps my picture on the "Mantel". I have not seen her face of spoken to her n almost better than 30 years, And that is all I am going to say. about my Marital Life.

Most Christians do not know who we really are. and the biggest enemies we have are located in the" institutionalize church". AND many do not know the place we are in. AND many claim they believe the Bible but they don't., you can tell by the words that come out of their mouths and actions, The Pelagian, and Armenian thought patterns, has cause a many of true christians to suffer un-awarded suffering. and have lead many into such practices. They have no idea "why God says: "Come out from among them" "and that you are a different creature" they just think it is just a word that the bible is using. You have no idea what that other creature is! And scripture makes it know to us clearly. But some christians think that God is Like them.

Just having a serious talk, that is all. 'And there is one that judges me" Have you ever wondered why "GOD would send a creature to "a state of Torment" and then the Lake of Fire? just because that creature does not believe that Jesus is the Son of God. "The Devils believe that Jesus is the Son of God" that believeth, does not save them. I am not talking about the unsaved. I am talking about you "True Child of God" you are different from the "FOUNDATIONS OF THE WORLD"! That knowledge has a blend of Joy and pain, grief and sorrow. in which we will feel the full effect and God will have to wash away our tears. Have your ever felt it in the heart of "DAVID" and "Aaron".

(Psalms 34).
17The LORD hears those who cry out,
and he delivers them from all their distress.
18The LORD is close to the brokenhearted,
and he delivers those whose spirit has been crushed.

It seems like, i have been crushed so many times i cannot count.
And yes I do fear, even though I know HE will bring me out!
And I know it is all for my good.
I know that shaping comes in brokenness. the work that is done in that new creature that is within me.
And sometimes I fall into tears, when i just think about it. It is such a precious love that only a true child of God can know. It is the hand of God on me, in the inside molding me into HIs image.

Have you ever wanted a non-christian to feel the hand of God shaping you in the inside. I am not talking about the "Joy" of the Holy Spirit". But the shaping hand and molding hand of God though the pain we endure. amazing.

just felt like talking, thanks to "Brother-Paul" who prime that pump. as I read a that part of his "Salvation Journey' He shared with us.

And I thank you my Brother in Christ.