Charlie, I will present how I reconcile Acts 13:48 with 1 Tim. 2:3-4 and 2 Pet. 3:9. Yet I suppose it is not the verses that need reconciling, but our understanding of them. The following is how I see it.
When you read the plain statement of Acts 13:48, and then 1 Tim. 2:3-4 & 2 Pet. 39, there obviously needs some reasonable way to reconcile the first verse with the next two, and I'll quote all three from the NRSVue.
"When the gentiles heard this, they were glad and praised the word of the Lord, and as many as had been destined for eternal life became believers." Act 13:48 NRSVue
"This is right and acceptable before God our Savior, who desires everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." 1Ti 2:3-4 NRSVue
"The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some think of slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance." 2Pe 3:9 NRSVue
We need the well known rule of interpretation: In comparing scripture, when there is a question between verses, the more clear verses take priority and explain the less clear. It is Acts 13:48 that is the most clear verse of the 3 passages. The word "destined" or "ordained" in the KJV, does not mean "disposed" and I know of no version that translates as "disposed" and if such a version could be found, it would be cherry picking to support a prior held belief and imposing on the text one's own thinking rather than accepting the text. Of course we have some on this thread who think they have more scholarship and can translate more accurately than respected translations such as the RV, ASV, RSV, NRSV, NRSVue, etc. "Do you see persons wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for fools than for them." (Prov 26:12 NRSV)
Acts 13:48 - Not all Gentiles, but only "as many as had been destined, ordained or appointed" became believers. This verse is quite clear to me. But I must understand the next two passages properly.
1Ti 2:3-4 - What is meant by "desires everyone", or ASV "all men". Go back to vs 1-2 and you see "all men" and then two categories; for kings, all in authority(KJV). The "all" and "everyone" is restricted to those in the context. There are to be prayers for all categories of men, every category of men. Examples in the NT of words "all" and "every" used in a manner NOT meaning all persons bar none: Lk 20:38 "all live unto him"KJV, but do ALL men live unto God?; Mk 11:32 "all men" saw John as a prophet, but someone cut his head off so it was not "all" without restriction; Lk 16:16 since the kingdom of God is preached are "all men" or is "everyone" trying to enter? 1 Cor. 11:3 is Christ the head of "every man" or is it to be understood "every Christian man"? The universal words "all" and "every man or one" must be seen in the context.
2 Pet. 3:9 - In v1 we see Peter is addressing the "beloved", not the world, scoffers and ungodly. So he is speaking to Christians. In v9 we see Peter writes "is patient with YOU", who are the beloved. I find the answer to this verse in the following:
"Or do you presume upon the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not know that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" Rom 2:4 RSV
Peter is addressing believers, the "beloved" in 2 Pet. 3:9. HE is patient, not wanting any of his elect to perish but that ALL of the elect come to repentance. So the return of Jesus Christ will not happen until the very last person of His elect is brought into the fold. Remember, the "scoffers" in v3 are sneering at the delay in the return of Jesus Christ. I see in 2 Pet. 3:9 a solid assurance to the body of Christ that NOT ONE of his children will fail to enter the church, his kingdom before Christ returns.
The free-willers will pick and criticize how I understand 1 Tim. 2:3-4 and 2 Pet. 3:9 as I compare and reconcile them to Acts 13:48. BUT is my understanding more or less reasonable than how they try to evade the clear statement of Acts 13:48? Oh! Wait, I'm still looking to see their attempt to evade Acts 13:48. I see them quoting their favorite passages, but they evade those that are more clear on the Calvinist side, which must be the Biblical side until they can show how they can explain away verses such as Acts 13:48.
Charlie, indeed we see no need to be enemies. I regularly consult and respect the commentaries by the Arminians Joseph Benson and Adam Clarke and gain great insight and helps from them. I admit though, there are some types who post, with whom I have problems staying patient.
Dylan, I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone yet.
No one has been more outspoken against the Calvinists than myself for the past several years.
I was recently absent from TJ for a few weeks, on another site arguing with the Calvinists as I usually do.
In the middle of that argument I felt something was wrong, I paused in the argument for a while to understand what had just happened.
It was a come to Jesus moment for me, in no uncertain terms I realized "they are justified by faith just as you are, be careful how you walk."
I've had to make adjustments in my approach to the Calvinists, believers in general since then. I'm still in that adjustment mode.
I think I now know what Paul meant when he said to the Corinthian Church,
1 Cor. 2:2-5
And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God.
"For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.
And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.
And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:
That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God."
The preaching of Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the power of God to justify man by faith.
We may disagree on election and free will, but we share common ground in our justification before God in Christ.
I believe that is where we should place our focus. We can be wrong on all the doctrines, but if we get the purpose of "Jesus Christ and Him crucified" right, then we're going to make it to the finish line.
There are so many in this world that don't have that hope in Christ.