Christianity VS. Jesus

[Sue D.]

KittyLinda -- It helps a great deal when we are willing to share Without the 'attitude'. I'm sorry your 1st marriage ended.

Many years ago we lived in Missouri -- we met variety of people -- one couple -- they had been getting along great - a good marriage, he was a successful businessman and they liked to go to business parties -- social drinking. Well -- the wife was invited to a Bible study by a neighbor -- she went and accepted Christ as her Savior. Well -- the next time a party came up and the drinking -- she explained that she had accepted Christ and felt convicted about the drinking. that she couldn't do with with a clear conscience. So -- he gave her an ultimatum -- either continue with the parties or there will be a divorce. She stood on her convictions and lost the marriage. He got remarried and was doing quite well. The kids went back and forth and gradually preferred the Dad with the step-mom more than Mom' restrictions -- they were left with a two-story house and a used car. Couldn't really afford the house -- lived in the down-stairs and kept on going to church. Every Sunday. It wasn't easy. As soon as the kids were old enough to choose -- they chose Dad and his new wife -- their richer life-style. Eventually their Mom met another man who had Also been divorced years ago. They got married and had two children of their own. Sure she lost a lot - at first - for a lot of years -- but she had a good church family that was helping and supportive.

This life -- here on earth is only temporary -- there Is eternal life in Heaven.

You've experienced some tough things and I'm going through some tough things Now.

The Pastor who just passed away. His first wife was fine with him -- two children together -- Until he got right with God and felt called to the ministry. She fought it -- he pleaded with her. She divorced him leaving him with their two kids. Figured she'd ruined his chances for the ministry. Almost did -- but one college was willing to give him a chance. He met his present wife with her two children from an abusive marriage. she divorced and after a while -- They got together. They got their one and only church. Has had a wonderful ministry together with her until lately. He's in heaven now. And they will have eternity together.

 

[KittyLinda]

Ahh, A new age Christian. They have rejected the bible and used all sorts of "spiritual" dogma to justify there behaviour. Totally satanic.

So now worshiping and praying or mediating on Jesus is new age? Go back and read the OP again.

I am beginning a new spiritual path which I call ‘Christian’ spirituality now, due to a lack of a better terminology. It is more of a personal path that I slowly became interested in when I was studying about Sethianic Christians, Valentinian texts, and Alexandrian/Coptic churches. The idea is understanding and becoming Christ-like through gaining wisdom. There is so much symbology and biblical metaphors, sometimes even meditative practices, and just a lot of 'personal' creativity. It is about Spiritual Growth and it is not dogmatic. I mean that there is no ‘correct’ way of doing it, because it is very personal path and it does not hate/condemn people, which is why I am interested in this.

 

[Sue D.]

I was going to ask -- do you pray to God, the Father Through Jesus Christ as our mediator? Meditating on God's Word?!

There had been another conversation going between you and 'Sheep..... something' -- maybe I'm getting the two conversations mixed up. Will look back and see.

 

[Sue D.]

I hear the voice of the deceiver.

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. Heb 3:12

Don't miss the point. For freedom Christ has set us free. That is GREAT news. If you confess your sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9 More GREAT news.
The one who has died has been set free from sin. Rom 6:7 More GREAT news.

Have you received the gift of the Holy Spirit? Ask and you will receive.

Forget theology, theology quenches Holy Spirit, just follow Jesus.

Theology is the study / getting to know God. There's no quenching the Holy Spirit -- One of His 'things' is being our Teacher -- brings Scripture to mind -- shows us new truths as we read Scripture. Jesus is Jesus Christ -- the Son of God. He came to show 'us' the Father.

 

[Sue D.]

OK. What is it that I really mean? You are the one being rude, and not me.

I assume you pray to the bible, since you now you want to use a verse out of context just to prove yourself right?

The bible records history. Is history God?

Oh so God's word was Greek and Hebrew? Yeah, surely I did not know that until now. Please, quit your silliness.

No where in the bible says we need bible alone or that it is 'The Sole authority.'

But probably there is no room for the Holy Spirit in your tiny Baptist denomination.

Actually -- the Holy Spirit comes to indwell each born again believer (Christian) at the moment of their salvation -- Baptist are a large group. Many 'flavors' of us. When even only two or three believers Do come together -- the Holy Spirit is amongst them.

 

[KittyLinda]

I was going to ask -- do you pray to God, the Father Through Jesus Christ as our mediator? Meditating on God's Word?!

Of course.

 

[KittyLinda]

Actually -- the Holy Spirit comes to indwell each born again believer (Christian) at the moment of their salvation -- Baptist are a large group. Many 'flavors' of us. When even only two or three believers Do come together -- the Holy Spirit is amongst them.

I grew up Baptist, but then I moved to 'flavors' of Pentecostalism/charismatic churches. It is still lacking.

Now as I said I am moving towards Christian spirituality.

 

[Sue D.]

Thank you. Your comment was that you pray to your Bible.

 

[Sue D.]

I grew up Baptist, but then I moved to 'flavors' of Pentecostalism/charismatic churches. It is still lacking.

Now as I said I am moving towards Christian spirituality.

How would you define 'spirituality'

 

[KittyLinda]

How would you define 'spirituality'

Divine knowledge of God.

 

[KittyLinda]

KittyLinda -- It helps a great deal when we are willing to share Without the 'attitude'. I'm sorry your 1st marriage ended.

Many years ago we lived in Missouri -- we met variety of people -- one couple -- they had been getting along great - a good marriage, he was a successful businessman and they liked to go to business parties -- social drinking. Well -- the wife was invited to a Bible study by a neighbor -- she went and accepted Christ as her Savior. Well -- the next time a party came up and the drinking -- she explained that she had accepted Christ and felt convicted about the drinking. that she couldn't do with with a clear conscience. So -- he gave her an ultimatum -- either continue with the parties or there will be a divorce. She stood on her convictions and lost the marriage. He got remarried and was doing quite well. The kids went back and forth and gradually preferred the Dad with the step-mom more than Mom' restrictions -- they were left with a two-story house and a used car. Couldn't really afford the house -- lived in the down-stairs and kept on going to church. Every Sunday. It wasn't easy. As soon as the kids were old enough to choose -- they chose Dad and his new wife -- their richer life-style. Eventually their Mom met another man who had Also been divorced years ago. They got married and had two children of their own. Sure she lost a lot - at first - for a lot of years -- but she had a good church family that was helping and supportive.

This life -- here on earth is only temporary -- there Is eternal life in Heaven.

You've experienced some tough things and I'm going through some tough things Now.

The Pastor who just passed away. His first wife was fine with him -- two children together -- Until he got right with God and felt called to the ministry. She fought it -- he pleaded with her. She divorced him leaving him with their two kids. Figured she'd ruined his chances for the ministry. Almost did -- but one college was willing to give him a chance. He met his present wife with her two children from an abusive marriage. she divorced and after a while -- They got together. They got their one and only church. Has had a wonderful ministry together with her until lately. He's in heaven now. And they will have eternity together.

I am more likely to end up living as a single-mom for the rest of my life now, if I do not manage to fix my current one. Also, all good Christian men are usually taken, so it is not easy to meet someone. Besides, I do not think you will feel so bad about my first marriage as it was not a 'heterosexual' marriage. My ex left because she saw how I lost my family, friends, and nearly God to be with her and at the same time I wanted her to be all these things, so she could not handle it. She also was a Christian but her family was more relaxed about it. This was also a very brief marriage, but it is the reason why I turned away from God for years. Honestly, I do not feel too bad about my past homosexual relationships. Add this as another reason for quitting fundamental Christianity. As I a bi-sexual woman, I was bleeding that God takes my desire for women and I still have attraction towards both sexes. Glad I do not have to carry this guilt anymore since I quit the purity cult.

 

[KittyLinda]

I am addressing this to the OP alone and will not reply anyone who contends with me about what I'm saying.

You have been shown that theology is not the way to knowing God, and it isn't. Theology is established for the purpose of elevating a selected group of educated elites to the top so they are in control of what is being taught as the truth - this is the work of the devil.

The Scriptures is written by men under the inspiration of God, and the purpose of Scripture is highlighted as follows:

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness

You do not need a theology school to learn Scriptures, there were no theology schools in the apostles' time and they had no problem understanding what the Scriptures said. Everyone who was born of God shared the same understanding of Scriptures and there was no division of teachings among the early church.

What your ultimate purpose in studying the Scriptures is to know what God required of us, and it is to live a life of selfless love shown through our deeds. This kind of lifestyle is against human nature of self seeking and greed, that is why you and I need the Spirit of God to empower us. We are creatures of habit, the more we practise selflessness, the more we become righteous. The more we practise selfishness, the more corrupted we become. What we do on a daily basis as a habit is very important because it will shape our character for good or evil. Jesus came to die for our sins so we no longer practise it as a habit, that is our mandate.

Theology is also boring and it does not build you up spiritually.

I am annoyed by it when I attend Churches. I want to worship God. I do not care about theologians and all these different doctrines.

 

[Enxu]

I am more likely to end up living as a single-mom for the rest of my life now, if I do not manage to fix my current one. Also, all good Christian men are usually taken, so it is not easy to meet someone. Besides, I do not think you will feel so bad about my first marriage as it was not a 'heterosexual' marriage. My ex left because she saw how I lost my family, friends, and nearly God to be with her and at the same time I wanted her to be all these things, so she could not handle it. She also was a Christian but her family was more relaxed about it. This was also a very brief marriage, but it is the reason why I turned away from God for years. Honestly, I do not feel too bad about my past homosexual relationships. Add this as another reason for quitting fundamental Christianity. As I a bi-sexual woman, I was bleeding that God takes my desire for women and I still have attraction towards both sexes. Glad I do not have to carry this guilt anymore since I quit the purity cult.

Count it as God’s mercy that your first marriage ended, if it did not, that would mean God has given you over to a reprobate mind to continue in a homosexual marriage.

You mention that you still have desires for the same sex, that desire comes from the evil one, which means you are still under the influence of evil spirits. I can say this with confidence because I was just like you when I was still an atheist, somewhat a bi-sexual because I held no hope for a normal marriage seeing how bad my parents’ marriage was at that time. I didn’t like being a woman and was drawn to being a man in a relationship because I hated how my father treated my mother. Not only that, during some of the darkest moments of my life I was in a girl’s school and there were girls who clearly showed homosexual interests in me. I was tempted to engage in homosexuality both within and without.

But in God’s mercy even when I didn’t know He existed He kept me clean from actually engaging in homosexual relationships. The moment I actually repented of my sins and believed in Jesus those desires went away, though I don’t know if it went away immediately or over time. But I do know there was a very tenuous spiritual struggle going on.

You need to continue to seek freedom from those homosexual desires, not for some allegiance to a religion but for your soul’s sake. It doesn’t come from you naturally, it comes from the evil spiritual realm and only faith in what Jesus has done for you on the Cross is able to free you from it. Don’t stop seeking that freedom until you find it. Repent of your past homosexual relationships, renounce them and seek God for forgiveness and deliverance.

 

[Enxu]

Ahh, A new age Christian. They have rejected the bible and used all sorts of "spiritual" dogma to justify there behaviour. Totally satanic.

The OP is under spiritual bondage and I believe God still has mercy on her. He removed her from a homosexual marriage that would have put her very soul in danger.

 

[Enxu]

First, I am very sorry for this crisis in your own family. Life can be so difficult, and I said in the OP that I am going through a very difficult time now, so please do not judge me harshly, because I feel I have the right to defend my stance, especially after losing too much for my faith. Besides, I do not deny my problem and addictions. I am not saying drugs are good or helpful. I am saying I am using it to cope with life. I hope it is clear by now.

Yes, we are supposed to draw people to Christ. I tried that after becoming a Christian, and I lost my partner and the father of my daughter for it. He dumped me and there is a very low chance we can work it out now. Apparently, fundamental Christianity does not draw/attract people to Jesus. It was also the reason my first marriage ended. If I do not take a lesson from this, then I'll never will. Christianity is something and Jesus is God. Our lord wants us to speak in love, but when you are adding to my wounds now, then do not expect I will turn the cheek every time.

You have not mentioned how you tried to draw people to Christ but I think the primary way we draw people to Christ is by living our lives emulating the selflessness Christ demonstrated. It is all about actions.

The more common way I have seen religious people draw people to Christ is by preaching hell and doom, as a form of drawing people to Christ through fear mongering. But I don’t see fear mongering as how Jesus preached the Gospel, even though He mentioned hell more than He mentioned heaven. To people who don’t even believe that hell and heaven exist and who don’t even know what the concept of sin is, throwing these terms in their faces and saying they are hell bound for not believing is in fact discrediting the Gospel.

Even Jesus did not tell everyone He met that they are going to hell for not believing in Him. nor did He mention hell and sin to every single person He met. When He did mention these things they were to a group of people who actually believed in the concept of divine judgment and perhaps already had some knowledge of what sin and hell is. Besides, it was most definitely His good deeds of healing people that drew people to Him. Deeds definitely speak louder.

But on the other hand, don’t be dismayed that people will leave you when you believe in Christ. Even if you have done nothing wrong, people will still leave you because they don’t believe in your God and are not used to the way of selflessness. People who have lived lives selfishly for decades will find you odd and even threatening when you no longer do things out of selfishness. Also some will not accept your God and will hate you for believing in Him. Your righteousness will become a prick to their consciences and they will detest you for that. People don’t like to feel guilty about their behavior and lifestyles and selfless people make selfish people feel guilty for being selfish. Others who believe in other false gods will also see you as a threat for no other reason but that you believe in a different God. That is why so many Christians in the first century got murdered, they were hated for the one God they believed in and for how selfless they acted, a stark contrast in the societies they lived in.

 

[Enxu]

First, I am very sorry for this crisis in your own family. Life can be so difficult, and I said in the OP that I am going through a very difficult time now, so please do not judge me harshly, because I feel I have the right to defend my stance, especially after losing too much for my faith. Besides, I do not deny my problem and addictions. I am not saying drugs are good or helpful. I am saying I am using it to cope with life. I hope it is clear by now.

Now to address your concern for losing too much for your faith, I have come across many believers who want to quit their faith because they have lost many things for believing in Christ. I was among them until God woke me up to how silly that would be.

Consider this: someone died for you. Your life was saved because someone else sacrificed his life. Now what will you be willing to do for this person to show your gratitude?

All your suffering, losses and pain in this life, after you are saved, is for Jesus Christ. Is it too much to ask you to sacrifice yourself for Him, especially after what He has done for you? If you truly knew the magnitude of the sacrifice He made for you, then you will know just how much He deserves from you. Unless you don't love Him and consider what He has done for you as nothing significant, losing your job, your health, your family, your marriage and your daily comforts etc in this life for believing in Him would not hinder you from believing in Him. Isn't this true of any relationship? If you truly love someone, what are you not willing to lose for him?

 

[KittyLinda]

@Enxu Bi-s are misunderstood even in the LGBTQ community, so I will try to help you understand my opinion on this. I have always felt an attraction to girls at my school, but I didn’t know how to express or accept it. I was only around 13 years old and my mother spanked me so hard when I told her I could be gay, so I just locked it away and lived with my guilt.

When I was younger, I have always felt attracted to women, and not so much to men, but it changed as I grew up and It’s not 50/50. I am 10 times more likely to date women than men. I have only been in two heterosexual relationships my entire life. I have the ability to have heterosexual relationships and I noticed how there is more balance, but I prefer dating women.

Bi-sexual is actually gay like anyone else. I see a pretty girl, and I get a crush. That feeling is gay. It is not evil spirits giving me these desires/feelings. It is just who I am. I also happen to have a disorder and the scientific/medical institution says there is a link. Borderline bisexuals usually question their identities more than other people.

My disorder is marked by endless inconsistencies in identity or self-image. Sometimes, my closest friends cannot identity me in different pictures. It is that bad! For example, I absolutely know that I love to dye my hair rose gold, pink or red, but I also dyed it green and blue before. It causes so much problems in relationships. I usually feel empty, and being artistic at the same time adds a lot of impulsive behavior that many traditional people do not approve. It does not matter, if it is a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. I struggle to maintain any relationship. God did not intervene here and he did not remove me from my marriage. I had five gay relationships after that brief marriage ended and these women unlike my first marriage were not Christians. I tried to change myself of course and I was in a straight relationship(trying to fix it now), but I am still told I have to also give it up because he is not a believer, so I gave up. Why? because this ‘religion’ is morally wrong. It is common sense to do so.

People with borderline often struggle with drug addiction, impulsive sex/promiscuity, and relationships. Some people in the church do not see beyond their nose. I do not want to sin but I am not in control of my life. All that they think of is throwing bible verses and telling me to repent. They think I can control my life by simply praying to God, or by doing what the bible tells me to do, but it is not like that, if you actually know how much money and time I spent, only so I can cope with my life.

I never want to seek acceptance anymore. Not going to renounce who I am. I am born with it, and it can never go away, nor I wish it to change anyway. Purity religion is nonsense. I tried it many times. It made me so boastful when I felt that I was doing everything right biblically. I was so proud that even my Christians friends had many troubles with me being so strict, but then I also sinned and I could not look in the mirror, and say I am a Christian anymore, because guilt just destroyed me. Thanks God. I finally got it. The purity/salvation cult is garbage, and it has nothing to do with Jesus Christ.

My sins are great, but I’ll be in heaven with my savior. He loves me just the way I am now. All those religionists/church goers will say otherwise, but Jesus has proved them wrong already on the cross. IT IS FINISHIED. He said it. He meant it.

 

[KittyLinda]

Now to address your concern for losing too much for your faith, I have come across many believers who want to quit their faith because they have lost many things for believing in Christ. I was among them until God woke me up to how silly that would be.

Consider this: someone died for you. Your life was saved because someone else sacrificed his life. Now what will you be willing to do for this person to show your gratitude?

All your suffering, losses and pain in this life, after you are saved, is for Jesus Christ. Is it too much to ask you to sacrifice yourself for Him, especially after what He has done for you? If you truly knew the magnitude of the sacrifice He made for you, then you will know just how much He deserves from you. Unless you don't love Him and consider what He has done for you as nothing significant, losing your job, your health, your family, your marriage and your daily comforts etc in this life for believing in Him would not hinder you from believing in Him. Isn't this true of any relationship? If you truly love someone, what are you not willing to lose for him?

You are right, expect that there is a third person in all of this. I can lose my partner for God and move on with someone else. I can lose my family and health, but I can't lose my child for God. He can take me with him to heaven with this 'sin.' or to hell. I accept it.

 

[KittyLinda]

You have not mentioned how you tried to draw people to Christ but I think the primary way we draw people to Christ is by living our lives emulating the selflessness Christ demonstrated. It is all about actions.

The more common way I have seen religious people draw people to Christ is by preaching hell and doom, as a form of drawing people to Christ through fear mongering. But I don’t see fear mongering as how Jesus preached the Gospel, even though He mentioned hell more than He mentioned heaven. To people who don’t even believe that hell and heaven exist and who don’t even know what the concept of sin is, throwing these terms in their faces and saying they are hell bound for not believing is in fact discrediting the Gospel.

Even Jesus did not tell everyone He met that they are going to hell for not believing in Him. nor did He mention hell and sin to every single person He met. When He did mention these things they were to a group of people who actually believed in the concept of divine judgment and perhaps already had some knowledge of what sin and hell is. Besides, it was most definitely His good deeds of healing people that drew people to Him. Deeds definitely speak louder.

But on the other hand, don’t be dismayed that people will leave you when you believe in Christ. Even if you have done nothing wrong, people will still leave you because they don’t believe in your God and are not used to the way of selflessness. People who have lived lives selfishly for decades will find you odd and even threatening when you no longer do things out of selfishness. Also some will not accept your God and will hate you for believing in Him. Your righteousness will become a prick to their consciences and they will detest you for that. People don’t like to feel guilty about their behavior and lifestyles and selfless people make selfish people feel guilty for being selfish. Others who believe in other false gods will also see you as a threat for no other reason but that you believe in a different God. That is why so many Christians in the first century got murdered, they were hated for the one God they believed in and for how selfless they acted, a stark contrast in the societies they lived in.

I do not want to talk much more about my personal life here. We drifted from the OP. I will PM you, instead.

God bless,

 

[Enxu]

@Enxu Bi-s are misunderstood even in the LGBTQ community, so I will try to help you understand my opinion on this. I have always felt an attraction to girls at my school, but I didn’t know how to express or accept it. I was only around 13 years old and my mother spanked me so hard when I told her I could be gay, so I just locked it away and lived with my guilt.

When I was younger, I have always felt attracted to women, and not so much to men, but it changed as I grew up and It’s not 50/50. I am 10 times more likely to date women than men. I have only been in two heterosexual relationships my entire life. I have the ability to have heterosexual relationships and I noticed how there is more balance, but I prefer dating women.

Bi-sexual is actually gay like anyone else. I see a pretty girl, and I get a crush. That feeling is gay. It is not evil spirits giving me these desires/feelings. It is just who I am. I also happen to have a disorder and the scientific/medical institution says there is a link. Borderline bisexuals usually question their identities more than other people.

I do not claim to know everything about homosexuality, but I am very certain there is a spiritual element to it, from personal experience and also from testimonies of others who struggled with it. You may not know it, or believe it to be something else, but I am very sure there is some evil spiritual entity involved. Some say its genetic or medical, but even when it comes to genetic/medical issues, it is not free from spiritual involvement. Evil spirits can indeed cause changes in people's genetics, and make people physically ill for that matter. We know very little collectively as a society to disregard what the spiritual realm does to the physical realm.

I am more concerned when you assert that this is who you are. People who were actually freed from homosexual/bi-sexual desires never asserted this, rather they acknowledged it was something external that was influencing their inner desires, because assertions like this mean that you have accepted it rather than rejected it. If you have accepted it, then it is not likely that you will be freed from this. Then the vicious cycle continues, because you were not freed from it, then all the more you will believe that this is who you are.

I do not know exactly why you have decided to accept it, but I assume that your guilt from your mother's reaction had something to do with it. From what I see, even that is a trap of the devil to get you stuck in this situation. This guilt tripping is not from God but you do need to see it for what it is. Just because you are made to feel guilty about something does not mean it is healthy to accept it as who you are. The right attitude is to seek freedom by first rejecting it as part of who you are, and then repenting and seeking God's deliverance.

My disorder is marked by endless inconsistencies in identity or self-image. Sometimes, my closest friends cannot identity me in different pictures. It is that bad! For example, I absolutely know that I love to dye my hair rose gold, pink or red, but I also dyed it green and blue before. It causes so much problems in relationships. I usually feel empty, and being artistic at the same time adds a lot of impulsive behavior that many traditional people do not approve. It does not matter, if it is a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. I struggle to maintain any relationship. God did not intervene here and he did not remove me from my marriage. I had five gay relationships after that brief marriage ended and these women unlike my first marriage were not Christians.

That is why I say you need to seek freedom from whatever disorder or vicious cycles you are struggling with. But from your reply it seems that you have accepted much of it as part of who you are. God will not intervene when you have not made the decision to stop your current vicious cycles by repenting of your sins and seeking freedom from unnatural sexual inclinations. The more you decide to accept it as who you are, the more you will continue feeling empty, impulsive, struggle to maintain relationships as you mentioned here. Do you want to be free? That is a decision you have to make.

I tried to change myself of course and I was in a straight relationship(trying to fix it now), but I am still told I have to also give it up because he is not a believer, so I gave up. Why? because this ‘religion’ is morally wrong. It is common sense to do so.

People with borderline often struggle with drug addiction, impulsive sex/promiscuity, and relationships. Some people in the church do not see beyond their nose. I do not want to sin but I am not in control of my life. All that they think of is throwing bible verses and telling me to repent. They think I can control my life by simply praying to God, or by doing what the bible tells me to do, but it is not like that, if you actually know how much money and time I spent, only so I can cope with my life.

I don't know what is the reason given to you not to date a non-believer, but I know the real reason. A non-believer will not share your beliefs and there will be lots of conflicts in any close relationships with them because the devil will be influencing them to disturb your faith. I know this from experience because I was the only Christian in my family and the kind of hate I've seen from my unbelieving parents towards my faith still reminds me of how important it is to seek godly Christian as a partner.

This borderline and the issues that come with it are beyond your own strength to change, your desires and struggles will not be gone until God frees you from the evil spirits which puts you in bondage. The question is whether you will give up now just because you have faced some difficulties or been shown the wrong way to deal with all this by religious people.

God searches the hearts, if you truly want to be free from your sin and you have sought Him out about this till the day you die, then He knows. He may free you in a miraculous moment, like He did for some, or He may free you upon your death bed. The timing difference is usually a test on how persistent and how strong your will is in seeking Him. But He will not force you if you have decided to give up on seeking Him and you stop your struggle against sin. You have to make that decision.

I never want to seek acceptance anymore. Not going to renounce who I am. I am born with it, and it can never go away, nor I wish it to change anyway. Purity religion is nonsense. I tried it many times. It made me so boastful when I felt that I was doing everything right biblically. I was so proud that even my Christians friends had many troubles with me being so strict, but then I also sinned and I could not look in the mirror, and say I am a Christian anymore, because guilt just destroyed me. Thanks God. I finally got it. The purity/salvation cult is garbage, and it has nothing to do with Jesus Christ.

My sins are great, but I’ll be in heaven with my savior. He loves me just the way I am now. All those religionists/church goers will say otherwise, but Jesus has proved them wrong already on the cross. IT IS FINISHIED. He said it. He meant it.

Jesus' attitude towards the prostitute in the Bible is that of gentleness and forgiveness, but He also told the woman, go and sin no more. What you have encountered from religious people is the same attitude the Pharisees demonstrated towards the prostitute, they were ready to stone her for her sin and made her feel guilt ridden and hopeless.

Ignore that Pharisical attitude and look at Jesus instead. He did not condemn the prostitute, but He did say, go and sin no more. That is for her good because if she persisted in sin she will be destroyed by sin, and His words apply to you as well. Go and sin no more. Don't give up on that just because it is difficult.