If conditions are such that you are just not able to get to a "group of believers that meet together"
(since you dislike the word church or even temple... sort of ridiculous, everyone understands what is meant, yes the real church is a body of believers, rather THE body of believers, but they are to get together, scripture is clear on that, just saying, you are sort of nitpicking),
then that is fine. I cant even drive at night, vision isnt all that great for night driving. I dont even attend church myself very often, but I dont disparage those that do or call them terrible names because faulty people attend there. I am faulty myself, are you so righteous, that you dont want to meet those faulty people and dirty yourself by being in their presence? Is your faith so weak that you would become apostate the moment you listened to them? Jesus and the disciples often went into the synagogues of satan to listen and speak, arent we to follow their example?
Then the actual reasons for not attending, if they have nothing to do with not wanting to dirty yourself in their presence, may be realistic, but your words havent talked about health issues of yourself, constant care of your man, not enough money to go (for the most part, you have said some of that, and finally a bit more now). Just please dont be so negative about people gathering together to worship the Lord even if they are more faulty than you.
In some ways, you remind me of my wife. She is a christian, but she doesnt want to attend any church. She has in the past, but got fed up with the problems of the church that she doesnt agree with. She hated how some pastors "screamed" at parishioners about going to hell regularly in the sanctuary. I understand not liking that. She doesnt like how some churchs allow women pastors. I agree with that. She didnt want to attend some churches because she knows how the members, high ranking members, lived their real life in a very worldly way. I get that many churchs have lots of problems. But I wont look down on gathering of faulty believers. Paul wrote many letters to churchs, and most of them had problems, the more wealthy they were, the more corrupt they tended to be. But he never taught that we should give up on them. I mostly dont go now, because it will cause more of a division between me and my wife, who looks down on those that attend regularly. She tends to think attending regularly only corrupts oneself to be more like a pharisee. I am stronger than that, they dont corrupt me. I have the Holy Spirit in me, whom I trust more than myself. I am rarely afraid of anything because of my trust. She is over 80 now and has health issues herself. When her time comes to leave this world, I will gladly attend local churchs no matter how corrupt they are, perhaps I can help make them a bit better, drop a few seeds that might sprout and produce a crop of true believers. But meeting with other believers, even if only online is important, very important. Doing it in real life is much much better, both for ourselves and for others attending. Problems will occur, my feelings might be hurt, but loving anyone involves emotional pain when you see the broken people and have EMPATHY for them. Dont be callous about them, they need your love and prayers, not because they are righteous, but because they need the Lord more in their lives, and if you are "like" the Lord, they are worth your time, if you are able.
