This God in particular has never answered one prayer of mine, never helped me when the chips are down, never gave me comfort at the right time. It's as if he was never there, it was as if he just didn't care. I would sometimes think the reason for such a disconnection, was because no matter what he would do I would betray him.
But even though I thought that I still continued to believed in him. I still prayed and worshipped him, all to my own down fall. When I finally left I faced the thought of being sent to hell for rejecting the living God. I tell you I had year's of living with sheer panic, I couldn't do anything but sleep it off.
I couldn't imagine returning to beliefs that would do that to my mind, no, there's no hope for me ever returning.