Spanking

[ForumAddict]

Abuse is done after you've reached your boiling point. Discipline is done in love. Parents need to start realizing there "child" doesn't have the mental facilities to 'reason'. Conversation only lowers yourself to there level of reasoning. "In sin did my mother conceive me" David said. You don't have to teach a child to do "wrong"....its there nature.

I'm sure this will come off to some as racist, but oh well. I used to work at a Juvenile Detention Jail. The black kids always hated the white kids that talked bad about there mothers ,why , because the st*p*d white mothers never beat there hyde's."Its abuse"........PLEASE PEOPLE !!! God Bless the black mothers that put that beatin on there boys, they grow up to respect there mama's while the white boys would just as well spit in there mothers faces. For the record, I'm a white male.

Sorry, ^^^this is just an example not ALL. I've just seen to many kids grow up wild (family or not), and it ALL stems around the lack of proper parental discipline, hence ,sparing the rode. :secret:

Donnie, I fail to see that this is racist or inappropriate in any manner. It is disheartening that the way things are, the truth, has to be labeled as such. Reality hurts, but we do not need to hide from it.

Spanking just like any other form of discipline must be handled in the proper way. The bible plainly tells us "spare the rod, spoil the child". If it is done in love, then there is no abuse.

God bless brother!

 

[Brad Huber]

Progressively minded people will tell you that spanking a child is child abuse. Its because its what they were taught, and sinse they dont revere what scripture teaches otherwise, they would rather follow an emotional response of always loving and forgiving of all things (which they equate love and forgiveness with no punishment at all). They care little about damage to others property, or other people, and treat such occurances as "little" things unworthy of our response. Its an elitist thing and totally lacking in responsibility. The Lord loves us enough to convict us, and allow us to suffer the consequences of our selfish acts without His intervention, and physical punishment, as long as not carried too far, is certainly better for us than to let us become selfish brats. That being said, its important your child knows that punishment is not done due to rage and anger, but in a corrective love. Spanking someone so hard it leaves bruises is of course wrong, but spanking in itself is a good tool for correction of a child.

 

[Acebopata]

I believe spanking is ok if done in the proper manner.

For example, I don't think spanking is appropriate for a child until the child is over the age of seven. I also would dis-advise spanking too hard. Hard enough to send a message, yes. But not so hard that it goes from a viable form of disciple to actual child abuse.

Also, I'd dis-advise spanking for something light, like forgetting homework at the house, or misspeaking about something due to a distraction or lack of knowledge. However, something big, like outright lying or pushing one little brother or sister to the ground, (Without apologizing serenely), or hitting another kid, then spanking would be justified. That being said, sometimes spanking isn't the right thing to do, such as if the child has a disability (Both mental and physical), to where spanking would do more harm than good, or if spanking isn't quite justified, (Such as something being an accident or the use of spanking isn't severe enough.)

 

[Some Wisdom]

A month or so ago, I was traveling in another state. It was after sunset. I had been on the road for several hours and had several more hours to go before meeting my wife. At the moment, not needing any fuel, the most convenient place I could find to stop was a Walmart. Beside, in addition to stretching my legs, I remembered I had forgotten a small item. As these things sometimes go, what I needed was at the other end of the store. The good news was that the store wasn't crowded.

Walking along the length of the store, I noticed what appeared to be a mother with a child. At first, I didn't pay much attention. However, as I go closer, I noticed they weren't moving. Although there was a cart in the aisle, neither were they shopping. As I got closer, I realized that a young mother was giving her preteen daughter a stern lecture at one end of a clothes rack. Having been there and done that, I did not want to interrupt the proceedings.

As I had planned to do, I turned to detoured around the clothes rack to avoid disturbing the mother. About the same time, the mother noticed me. In an almost panic, she tried to get her daughter and the cart out of my way. At that moment, my fatherly instincts took over. I said, "Stay put. What you're doing is much more important than what I'm doing!" By this time I realized that a certain little girl was probably going to get a spanking. The only question was when and where.

Strange as it may seem, I could feel the wave of relief that swept over the mother. When I got to the same end of the rack as the mother and her daughter, the woman asked, "Can I hug you?" I didn't know what to say, other than, "I'm not sure my wife would approve." So, I kept my mouth shut! This was no accident. I was there for a purpose.

As the woman briefly hugged me, I realized that she needed a little help. When she let go and started to walk away, I asked if I could talk to her daughter. After she nodded, I explained why little girls need to listen to their mommies, even if they don't like what Mommy has to say, and be cooperative in order to produce the best girl possible even if girls don't like what mommies need to do sometimes when girls don't listen.

Granted, it was a stock parental lecture. Yet, at that moment, for whatever reason, it seemed to click in the little girl's head as she looked up at me with a knowing smile. It was as if she took comfort in what I said.

In my experience, having walked in a parent's shoes makes us less judgmental when, in the heat of battle, other parents might not handle things as we would. Another benefit in having been a parent comes in knowing that children really do want to behave. Sometimes, a little understanding can go a long way to helping parents in difficult moments.

 

[Some Wisdom]

Abuse is done after you've reached your boiling point. Discipline is done in love. Parents need to start realizing there "child" doesn't have the mental facilities to 'reason'. Conversation only lowers yourself to there level of reasoning. "In sin did my mother conceive me" David said. You don't have to teach a child to do "wrong"....its there nature.

I'm sure this will come off to some as racist, but oh well. I used to work at a Juvenile Detention Jail. The black kids always hated the white kids that talked bad about there mothers ,why , because the st*p*d white mothers never beat there hyde's."Its abuse"........PLEASE PEOPLE !!! God Bless the black mothers that put that beatin on there boys, they grow up to respect there mama's while the white boys would just as well spit in there mothers faces. For the record, I'm a white male.

Sorry, ^^^this is just an example not ALL. I've just seen to many kids grow up wild (family or not), and it ALL stems around the lack of proper parental discipline, hence ,sparing the rode. :secret:

Sometime back, I had to go to great lengths to convince a black mother and educator that the never spanked white kid was a much a stereotype as black thug in a hoodie. While it fits a segment of the population, often associated with children born to white college educated and affluent mothers, it oversimplifies the dynamics of white parenting.

 

[Rennieboy]

I know I'm some ten years late in commenting here on child spanking. It's just that never getting the boyhood spankings I deserved made such a negative difference in my life. I know it hurt my relationship with my beloved mother in my teens. Anytime when I annoyed her enough, being bared and turned over her knee would've effectively highlighted that moment as a particular action with an unhappy consequence - very much a learning experience. Our parent-child rapport was regrettably denied that emotional enhancement.

At age 70, I never really bought into adulthood. Married for ten years, then divorced, I held a variety of jobs, some of them related to my formal training as a photographer. I've never been outgoing, though, never socially interactive. I believe I never completely outgrew my childhood. My emotional development basically stalled in my teens. What may very well have held me back were the spankings I should've gotten but didn't. Instead of being confronted in a one-on-one fashion as a wrongdoer whose pants needed taking down for some dramatic discipline, I wandered in an ill-defined wilderness, never quite sure of the next step to take in my development.

My own life experience notwithstanding, I'm a steadfast believer in over-the-knee, bare bottom spanking. For one thing, why on earth wouldn't you wish to see what you're actually doing as you spank? I maintain that spankings are powered by the twin engines of pain and shame, and while a child's spankings are best privately given, their naughtiness has left them subject to this punishment's natural unpleasantness. After all, the choice is always there for a child; they can either "Behave Or Be Spanked."

 

[GodB4Us]

Wisdom is best

We do live in a culture that makes quick judgement, especially when it looks like a child is being abused. My wife and I had four children, and only one was a boy. Most all parents will experience the situation described in the store. Best advice is be wise. To keep anyone from making bad judgements and making yourself look bad, be wise. Take the sweet child out to the car. Just leave the cart where this happened. This takes you out of the center of attention. When you get to the car, put this little bundle of happiness home and take what action is needed to make an impression to hopefully prevent this next time.

I can't say this is always it was handled, but I will state by the time we got home We were calmed down and punishment was done when we were in more control of our emotions.

It is so much easier to see things as a grandparent than as a parent.

Sometimes I wonder if half the problems with children these days is when they are made hyper because of sugar or caffeine. Parents that have trouble controlling their kids should consider cutting back on their sugary snacks to zero snacks to see if that is not the problem, because all the spanking in the world is not going to help discipline these kids when they are made hyper by sugar and stuff.

Course, parents with kids that are diabetic on insulin should always have sugar around for them in case of emergency.

I doubt sugary snacks were always available to kids in Jesus's days.

 

[complete]

I am not a parent, but I would love answers from
parents themselves.
At Winn-Dixie the other day, a small child was causing
a little chaos in the store, running around bouncing
balls and not putting them back, and he knocked
some items off shelves by accident, but didn't bother
to put them back either.
His mother spanked the child right there in the aisle,
and no one said anything to her, but I
heard an elderly woman behind me mutter
"How could she do that to her own child?"

I never thought much about spanking,
in fact, I was spanked myself when I was
younger. But more and more people
are saying that it is child abuse.
I never thought my mother was abusing me
when she spanked me...
Anyone agree or disagree?

Hello @dannibear,

In Wales, where I live, it is now illegal to slap a child.

My children now have children of their own, and looking back I can only remember one or two occasions when I had to smack them. One was when they were going to run out in the road without looking to ensure there was no coming traffic and could have been run down. I smacked them on the legs, and they never forgot to look both ways before crossing again. I smacked them out of fear, and my fear and distress showed, and was more of a deterrent to them than the smack I think, for they knew that they had caused my distress.

Yet building up a relationship with a child, and showing, by reasoned argument, why certain behaviour is not to be tolerated, is the best way to ensure that children learn what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable behaviour and what is unacceptable.

I am not happy with the institution of this law, but only time will tell the outcome.

Thank you
In Christ Jesus
Chris

 

[Christina2000]

I am not a parent, but I would love answers from
parents themselves.
At Winn-Dixie the other day, a small child was causing
a little chaos in the store, running around bouncing
balls and not putting them back, and he knocked
some items off shelves by accident, but didn't bother
to put them back either.
His mother spanked the child right there in the aisle,
and no one said anything to her, but I
heard an elderly woman behind me mutter
"How could she do that to her own child?"

I never thought much about spanking,
in fact, I was spanked myself when I was
younger. But more and more people
are saying that it is child abuse.
I never thought my mother was abusing me
when she spanked me...
Anyone agree or disagree?

I think gentle mild correction only. A firm voice, perhaps a little tap on the hands. Children must be corrected, guided and shown the way if misbehaving. Not infliction of pain though.

I remember into old age how cruel my father was. Slaps across the face, hair pulled. He would beat my brother with a boot. We hated him especially because it was usually unfair, we had done almost nothing wrong. He never guided us, never spoke gently or reasonably. So physical punishment causes fear, resentment and huge damage. It leads to much worse as children's hearts harden , they will repeat the same on others and later on their own children. We also had the threat of the cane at school and though I never got it, I was terrified. Funny but those who did, became repeat offenders - so it didn't work.

 

[GodB4Us]

I think gentle mild correction only. A firm voice, perhaps a little tap on the hands. Children must be corrected, guided and shown the way if misbehaving. Not infliction of pain though.

Does it always work?

I remember into old age how cruel my father was. Slaps across the face, hair pulled. He would beat my brother with a boot. We hated him especially because it was usually unfair, we had done almost nothing wrong. He never guided us, never spoke gently or reasonably. So physical punishment causes fear, resentment and huge damage. It leads to much worse as children's hearts harden , they will repeat the same on others and later on their own children. We also had the threat of the cane at school and though I never got it, I was terrified. Funny but those who did, became repeat offenders - so it didn't work.

When used for no reason, then it is abuse rather than correction, but the Bible refers to the rod and not the kind of abuse you have testified of that your father was doing.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:12 Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
16 Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.
17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long.

Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

Most use the belt on the behind rather than the back, but the Bible does support using the rod Biblically to drive foolishness ( sinfulness ) out of the child and not sinfully.

I would think if I had a son that was torturing animals and killing pets, I would use that belt on his behind, but since I am not in that situation, I can only hope in the Lord to guide me rightly in raising my children in this sin fallen world.

Society would say counseling and psychiatric care can help, but they do not always share those "success stories" and so I have to wonder about men's knowledge and what God says in His words. I believe in His words.

 

[Christina2000]

Does it always work?

When used for no reason, then it is abuse rather than correction, but the Bible refers to the rod and not the kind of abuse you have testified of that your father was doing.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:12 Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
16 Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.
17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long.

Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

Most use the belt on the behind rather than the back, but the Bible does support using the rod Biblically to drive foolishness ( sinfulness ) out of the child and not sinfully.

I would think if I had a son that was torturing animals and killing pets, I would use that belt on his behind, but since I am not in that situation, I can only hope in the Lord to guide me rightly in raising my children in this sin fallen world.

Society would say counseling and psychiatric care can help, but they do not always share those "success stories" and so I have to wonder about men's knowledge and what God says in His words. I believe in His words.

I do understand what you say.

 

[Twistie]

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

 

[B-A-C]

Prov 10:13; On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.
Prov 13:24; He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Prov 14:3; In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will protect them.

Prov 22:15; Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Prov 23:13; Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
Prov 23:14; You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol.
Prov 26:3; A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools.
Prov 29:15; The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

Prov 19:18; Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.

Heb 12:7; It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
Heb 12:8; But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
Heb 12:11; All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Rev 3:19; 'Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.

 

[Rhema]

Sometimes I wonder if half the problems with children these days is when they are made hyper because of sugar or caffeine.

You should look more closely at yellow # 5.

Why Your Child Is Hyperactive

Contains detailed information by the doctor who first reported that hyperactivity in children is often caused by artificial food coloring...

www.goodreads.com

 

[MedicBravo]

First, there is a difference between spanking and beating/putting full force behind striking someone. The way the younger gens are acting they need a good whoopin'.
Give a limited description, she is within her rights as parent to do it wherever.
Children know how to push limits. Once they start getting a bit more freedom here and more choice there, they'll take advantage of it.
If you don't, they will learn that you'll simply get loud and yell. Oh, loud words are so scary.
If a child refuses to listen to his/her parents in public per this instance it's not about being embarrassed but the child is not respecting his peer/parent or his/her role as the child.
I had some awesome maternal grandparents but they had rules. If you got a spanking you deserved it b/c you knew the rules and broke them anyway. Me and my cousins have never been in jail or prison, turned to drugs or alcohol abuse, or have a record. We don't have permanent physical or emotional damage from it.
Like it or not kids are inherently disobedient and disrespectful. They aren't old nor mature enough.
IMO, one should set firm rules and spankings should be uncommon.

 

[PloughBoy]

First, there is a differen4For God said, Honor thy father and thy mother: and, He that speaketh evil of father or mother, let him die the death. 5But ye say, whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, That wherewith thou mightest have been profited by me is given to God ; 6he shall not honor his father. And ye have made void the word of God because of your tradition.ce between spanking and beating/putting full force behind striking someone. The way the younger gens are acting they need a good whoopin'.
Give a limited description, she is within her rights as parent to do it wherever.
Children know how to push limits. Once they start getting a bit more freedom here and more choice there, they'll take advantage of it.
If you don't, they will learn that you'll simply get loud and yell. Oh, loud words are so scary.
If a child refuses to listen to his/her parents in public per this instance it's not about being embarrassed but the child is not respecting his peer/parent or his/her role as the child.
I had some awesome maternal grandparents but they had rules. If you got a spanking you deserved it b/c you knew the rules and broke them anyway. Me and my cousins have never been in jail or prison, turned to drugs or alcohol abuse, or have a record. We don't have permanent physical or emotional damage from it.
Like it or not kids are inherently disobedient and disrespectful. They aren't old nor mature enough.
IMO, one should set firm rules and spankings should be uncommon.

First, there is a difference between spanking and beating/putting full force behind striking someone. The way the younger gens are acting they need a good whoopin'.
Give a limited description, she is within her rights as parent to do it wherever.
Children know how to push limits. Once they start getting a bit more freedom here and more choice there, they'll take advantage of it.
If you don't, they will learn that you'll simply get loud and yell. Oh, loud words are so scary.
If a child refuses to listen to his/her parents in public per this instance it's not about being embarrassed but the child is not respecting his peer/parent or his/her role as the child.
I had some awesome maternal grandparents but they had rules. If you got a spanking you deserved it b/c you knew the rules and broke them anyway. Me and my cousins have never been in jail or prison, turned to drugs or alcohol abuse, or have a record. We don't have permanent physical or emotional damage from it.
Like it or not kids are inherently disobedient and disrespectful. They aren't old nor mature enough.
IMO, one should set firm rules and spankings should be uncommon.

Modern Day Christianity have become “Full Blown” “Pelagian” every body is Created morally good and all children and babies are Innocent, and nice.

If only babies & children had “Superman” power, you would find out how innocent they are!

 

[GodB4Us]

First, there is a difference between spanking and beating/putting full force behind striking someone. The way the younger gens are acting they need a good whoopin'.
Give a limited description, she is within her rights as parent to do it wherever.
Children know how to push limits. Once they start getting a bit more freedom here and more choice there, they'll take advantage of it.
If you don't, they will learn that you'll simply get loud and yell. Oh, loud words are so scary.
If a child refuses to listen to his/her parents in public per this instance it's not about being embarrassed but the child is not respecting his peer/parent or his/her role as the child.
I had some awesome maternal grandparents but they had rules. If you got a spanking you deserved it b/c you knew the rules and broke them anyway. Me and my cousins have never been in jail or prison, turned to drugs or alcohol abuse, or have a record. We don't have permanent physical or emotional damage from it.
Like it or not kids are inherently disobedient and disrespectful. They aren't old nor mature enough.
IMO, one should set firm rules and spankings should be uncommon.

Pretty much describes politicians, pushing the limits in what they can get away with from the American people and the taxpayers. Maybe we should contact their mothers in giving them a good whoopin'. We can dream .....

 

[brighthouse98]

dannibear, I am old school, my parents especially my earthy dad, would say to us kids, "now we are going shopping you stay with us at all times, you do not run around or touch that which is not yours, or else you will feel a large sting on your backside, understand?" But I just had to test him, so after a couple of lanes I went off on my own to look at the toys. The old man came around and hit me hard on my backside took me by the hand and brought to where my mom was, I dared not yell in pain for I would have got hit even harder! LOL,"

I deserved it! I only tell you once he said, I do not enjoy hearing myself repeat!!" After about 45 min, being very good now, he bought me a candy bar, a lady behind him said "boy you sure spoil your kids, he said LOL a lot of kids smell that way lady!! That shut her up!! LOL Every kid gets his beating now and again, but in that spanking needs to have a purpose!! Jesus has no problem correcting me either!! And he has to!!

In truth one never has to wonder why, even though they may say I did not deserve it, I always deserved it, and I knew why to!!

 

[WhiteisFam1]

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

Abuse is done after you've reached your boiling point. Discipline is done in love. Parents need to start realizing there "child" doesn't have the mental facilities to 'reason'. Conversation only lowers yourself to there level of reasoning. "In sin did my mother conceive me" David said. You don't have to teach a child to do "wrong"....its there nature.

I'm sure this will come off to some as racist, but oh well. I used to work at a Juvenile Detention Jail. The black kids always hated the white kids that talked bad about there mothers ,why , because the st*p*d white mothers never beat there hyde's."Its abuse"........PLEASE PEOPLE !!! God Bless the black mothers that put that beatin on there boys, they grow up to respect there mama's while the white boys would just as well spit in there mothers faces. For the record, I'm a white male.

Sorry, ^^^this is just an example not ALL. I've just seen to many kids grow up wild (family or not), and it ALL stems around the lack of proper parental discipline, hence ,sparing the rode. :secret:

That did not come across as racist to me.

I'm a Black male and I understand what you are saying.

I was disciplined with a belt, never abused.


I also support using the belt, but let me say more. I created a video on this 4 years ago.

I encourage all @brighthouse98 , @MedicBravo , @PloughBoy , @GodB4Us , @Rhema , @Twistie to watch: